Episodes

  • Navigating Friendship Conflict & Changing Friendship

    Navigating Friendship Conflict & Changing Friendship
    Mar 20 2026
    Friendships change as people grow, and those shifts can bring up grief, confusion, frustration, or fear.In this episode, we unpack how growth, life transitions, shifting values, and changing capacity can create tension in friendships, and why our first instinct is often to fix, judge, withdraw, or take it personally. We talk about how asking better questions, staying open instead of defensive, and making space for both grief and care can help friendships adapt rather than fall apart. The goal is not to force the relationship back to what it was, but to navigate change in a way that protects both connection and individuality. Main Talking Points Friendship shifts Asking questions Resisting defensiveness Grieving change Staying connected Healthy boundaries Give Me Discounts! ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ - Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
    Show More Show Less
    55 mins
  • Motivation To Change In Relationships

    Motivation To Change In Relationships
    Mar 13 2026
    Most relationships start with “I love you, you’re perfect”… and quickly turn into wanting your partner to change. The real problem isn’t usually whether they want to change—it’s that change is rarely A→B; it’s a process that requires understanding barriers, reducing shame, and building support. When couples shift from criticism to curiosity and create small, doable systems together, motivation increases and change becomes sustainable. Talking points “Now change” cycle Wanting vs doing Shame kills change Barriers before solutions 1% systems Practice + support Give Me Discounts! Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ - Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
    Show More Show Less
    52 mins
  • Emotional Availability

    Emotional Availability
    Mar 6 2026
    Emotional availability isn’t about feeling emotions loudly or perfectly — it’s about presence, regulation, and the ability to hold space without shutting down or exploding. Our capacity shifts based on stress, attachment history, neurodivergence, and what’s happening in our window of tolerance. Instead of hunting for the “perfectly available” partner, growth starts with understanding your own patterns and learning to show up vulnerably and clearly. Main Talking Points: Window of tolerance Capacity vs. timing Attachment patterns Vulnerable communication Boundaries & regulation Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
    Show More Show Less
    52 mins
  • If I Have To Ask, It Doesn't Count

    If I Have To Ask, It Doesn't Count
    Feb 28 2026
    Why does it feel so disappointing to ask for what you want? In this episode, we unpack the hidden belief that “if I have to ask, it doesn’t count” — and how that mindset turns simple needs (compliments, celebration, affection) into silent resentment. We explore the shame, fear of failure, childhood triggers, and meaning-making underneath it all — and how shifting from mind-reading to curiosity can completely change the dynamic. Main Talking Points: • Mind-reading myth • Meaning-making traps • Shame & fear • Childhood wounds • Process > content Give Me Discounts! Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ - Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
    Show More Show Less
    54 mins
  • One Move To Deescalate Your Next Fight: QUICK ADVICE

    One Move To Deescalate Your Next Fight: QUICK ADVICE
    Feb 26 2026
    Couples Values Construction for 2026⁠⁠ Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list. ⁠⁠Get $100 off Spark My Relationship⁠⁠ 14 hours of relationship content Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
    Show More Show Less
    15 mins
  • Why Everyone Thinks Their Partner Is a Narcissist

    Why Everyone Thinks Their Partner Is a Narcissist
    Feb 23 2026
    When someone says, “I think my partner is a narcissist,” they’re usually not chasing a diagnosis—they’re trying to make sense of a relationship that feels controlling, confusing, and painful. This episode slows it way down and compares narcissism with insecure attachment patterns (pursuer/withdrawer) and neurodivergence, since the impact can look similar even when the why is totally different. The big differentiator they keep coming back to is flexibility: is there willingness to reflect, learn, repair, and change—even if slowly? Main talking points Impact over labels Spectrum, not binary Rigidity vs flexibility Withdrawer mislabels Neurodivergent overlap Curiosity “experiments” Give Me Discounts! Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ - Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
    Show More Show Less
    54 mins
  • Behind Every Criticism There Is A Request: QUICK ADVICE

    Behind Every Criticism There Is A Request: QUICK ADVICE
    Feb 19 2026
    Couples Values Construction for 2026⁠⁠ Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list. ⁠⁠Get $100 off Spark My Relationship⁠⁠ 14 hours of relationship content Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
    Show More Show Less
    14 mins
  • Psychology of the State of the World

    Psychology of the State of the World
    Feb 16 2026
    There’s been a wave of major U.S. events stirring up big emotions, and this episode stays out of political commentary to focus on how people psychologically respond—in themselves, in relationships, and online. In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren unpack how nervous-system activation, bias, privilege/positionality, and “defensive attribution” can shape what we believe, how safe we feel, and how we treat people who respond differently. They also walk through 10 common “archetypes” of coping with national unrest and offer a relational path forward: get curious, find safe places to process, and move from reactivity into values-based action. Main Talking Points Nervous system activation Bias + “tribes” Defensive attribution Privilege + proximity 10 coping archetypes Curiosity over combat Give Me Discounts! Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ - Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
    Show More Show Less
    51 mins