Episodes

  • If We Don't Break the Stuck/Drift Cycle, It Will Break Us - Andrew Waddell on Stuckness

    If We Don't Break the Stuck/Drift Cycle, It Will Break Us - Andrew Waddell on Stuckness
    Apr 8 2026
    Many men hit a stage in midlife when, despite outwardly successful and comfortable lives, they feel a persistent sense of emptiness, drift and disconnection. This deeply familiar yet often unspoken experience of feeling 'stuck' is pervasive and existential, as though life is slipping away without clear direction or meaning. This week Paul talks to Andrew Waddell, a coach for midlife men who says that 'stuckness' is rarely about one single problem. Instead, he says that it is a cyclical emotional pattern, moving from numbness and low energy into frustration, anger and self-doubt, before retreating back into avoidance. Over time, this cycle erodes the very qualities needed to break free, including confidence, creativity and rational thinking. Andrew explains that many men reach a tipping point, either gradually or through a sudden realisation, where their usual coping mechanisms no longer work. Crucially, recognising the feeling of being 'stuck' is only the beginning; change requires deliberate effort, self-exploration and a willingness to confront underlying beliefs about success, identity and fulfilment. Rather than rushing into solutions, the emphasis is on the importance of slowing down to understand the root causes, whether they stem from societal expectations, lack of validation, compromised values or energy imbalance. From there, progress comes through small, intentional actions, experimentation and reconnecting with personal agency. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
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    50 mins
  • It’s Not About the Money: Rethinking Financial Planning in Midlife with Lewis Cope

    It’s Not About the Money: Rethinking Financial Planning in Midlife with Lewis Cope
    Apr 1 2026
    Financial planning can be a source of major anxiety among midlife men as they start to turn their attention towards retirement and wondering if they have enough saved. The realities of retirement planning in the UK, including what constitutes a minimal, moderate or comfortable lifestyle and the financial benchmarks associated with each, can be complex and daunting, but with discipline they are often more achievable than people assume. This week Paul talks to financial adviser Lewis Cope, who seeks to reframe how men in midlife should think about financial planning, shifting the focus away from spreadsheets and towards something far more fundamental - the life they actually want to live. Lewis believes that for most people, financial decisions are driven less by mathematics and more by psychology, habits and communication. A simple but often avoided question drives much of this thinking: what do you want your life to look like? Feeding into this come honest discussions about values, priorities and trade-offs. And beyond the numbers, conversations around delayed decisions, lifestyle creep, lack of communication, over-reliance on pensions or property, and major life disruptions such as divorce or redundancy are necessary to plan effectively. Ultimately, this episode is less about money itself and more about control, clarity and intention, and helping people move from vague anxiety about the future to a deliberate, personalised plan for the life they want. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
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    1 hr
  • If You Rely on Exercise to Lose Weight, You’re Doomed - Andrew Jax on Holistic Fitness

    If You Rely on Exercise to Lose Weight, You’re Doomed - Andrew Jax on Holistic Fitness
    Mar 25 2026
    There's a lot of pressure to hit the gym on a regular basis. And there's no doubt that physical exercise and movement are incredibly important in leading a fit and healthy life. But many men in their 40s and 50s struggle not because they lack knowledge, but because life has shifted. Careers, families and responsibilities push their own wellbeing to the bottom of the list, and the result is weight gain, low energy, declining health markers and a loss of confidence. This week Paul talks to fitness coach and former bodybuilder Andrew Jax, known online as 6 Pack Dad, who specialises in helping midlife men regain control of their health, energy and confidence. Drawing on his own experience as a father of three and decades in the fitness industry, Andrew challenges the conventional belief that diet and exercise alone are the keys to getting in shape. He advocates a holistic approach, one that prioritises sleep, stress management, mindset and sustainable lifestyle habits over rigid training regimes. Paul and Andrew explore the deeper motivations driving men to seek change, from wanting to feel more present with their families to addressing serious health risks. And they look at the importance of identifying a strong personal “why” and making small, practical adjustments rather than completely overhauling life. Andrew argues that consistent exercise, while beneficial, is not essential for fat loss, and that fitness should be reframed as a lifestyle rooted in simplicity, consistency and self-awareness - one that not only improves physical health, but also unlocks greater energy, clarity and purpose in midlife. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
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    36 mins
  • Men Communicate Distress Through Behaviour Rather Than Words - Dr Stephen Blumenthal on Self Expression

    Men Communicate Distress Through Behaviour Rather Than Words - Dr Stephen Blumenthal on Self Expression
    Mar 11 2026
    Many men struggle to understand, express, or even recognise what they are feeling. They often communicate distress not through words but through behaviour, and sometimes in ways that are self-destructive. Excessive drinking, withdrawing from friendships, over-investing time in work or reckless risk-taking can act as signals that something is wrong internally, and are far from uncommon. This week Paul speaks to acclaimed clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst Dr Stephen Blumenthal about the hidden emotional lives of men. He talks about how many men express emotional conflict through action rather than language, and about how these behaviours are often rooted in what he calls 'trauma patterns' - adaptive responses formed in childhood or early life that help individuals cope with difficult environments but may later interfere with intimacy and emotional connection. Stephen explores how social expectations of masculinity shape men’s emotional lives, and how there can be a disconnect between what men feel and what they are able to articulate. And he highlights the importance of self-awareness and reflection. But rather than simply encouraging men to 'express their feelings, he argues that the real work lies in developing a language for inner experience and understanding the emotional signals beneath behaviours, and that a willingness to examine one’s inner life is among the most powerful foundations for long-term wellbeing. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
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    47 mins
  • Midlife Stories: From Emotional Blackness to Midlife Breakthrough, with Leon Smith

    Midlife Stories: From Emotional Blackness to Midlife Breakthrough, with Leon Smith
    Mar 4 2026
    Childhood adversity can have a lasting impact. When trauma, instability or loss are experienced at a young age, they can shape how a person sees themselves and the world for decades, resulting in emotional suppression, hyper-independence, people-pleasing or self-sabotage. But adversity does not have to become destiny. This week Paul talks to Leon Smith about his long journey from a traumatic childhood to redemption in midlife. At 11 years old, Leon watched his mother undergo life-threatening surgery for a tumour wrapped around her spinal cord. While he was still trying to process that trauma, his absent father was murdered. The combined weight of grief, shock and emotional suppression left him shattered. He describes years of “blackness”, drifting through adolescence and adulthood alike in survival mode, numbing himself through nightlife, work and distraction. But many years later, after some NHS counselling, Leon experienced what he calls a “therapeutic epiphany” - a moment of clarity in which he recognised his patterns and realised he could choose differently. That insight sparked dramatic change. He returned to university, built a successful decade-long career in television, and eventually felt called to retrain as a counsellor and psychotherapist. Leon's truly inspirational story is a testament to the fact that no matter how broken you feel, change is possible and hope is real. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
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    43 mins
  • Coping With the Grief of Parental Loss

    Coping With the Grief of Parental Loss
    Feb 25 2026
    On 4th February, my mum died. She was 80 years old and had lived with Alzheimer's dementia for seven years. Her passing follows the death of my dad less than three years ago after a long battle with a degenerative condition related to Parkinson's. The grief and sadness I have felt have been intertwined with relief, guilt and shame, and so this week I talk to psychotherapist Bill Sullivan to try and make sense of the grief of parental loss. This is not a polished conversation about grief, but a raw and honest exploration of what loss actually feels like in midlife. I talk openly about the complexity of the emotions I have been feeling now that years of caregiving responsibility have come to an end, and I ask questions about whether my grief response is 'normal'. We unpack anticipatory grief, caregiver fatigue, the dual process of loss and restoration and how we oscillate between practical functioning and emotional overwhelm. We explore what it means to lose not just a parent, but the sense of safety and structure that having living parents provides, even in adulthood. And we challenge cultural expectations around how men 'should' grieve. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
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    1 hr and 4 mins
  • What Nobody Tells You About Sex in Midlife, with Ruth Ramsay

    What Nobody Tells You About Sex in Midlife, with Ruth Ramsay
    Feb 18 2026
    There's a lot of misunderstanding around sex in midlife. The commonly held belief is that libido wanes due largely to hormonal changes, but this narrative is not only simplistic but also damaging. Coupled with the media focus on young people when it comes to sex, it creates an impression that people in midlife don't somehow deserve to feel vibrant and to have sexual desire. And that in turn can lead to a lack of intimacy and unhappiness, and can damage otherwise healthy relationships. This week Paul is joined by sex educator and coach Ruth Ramsay for an open and deeply honest conversation about what really happens to desire, intimacy and connection in midlife. Ruth shares her unconventional journey from journalist and striptease artist to sex coach, and speaks candidly about the emotional meaning of sex for men - that of not just physical release, but feeling wanted, seen and connected. Ruth discusses now desire is far more closely linked to how we feel about our bodies, our right to be sexual, and the quality of communication within our relationships than simply hormones, and explores how stress, shame, body image, exhaustion and resentment can quietly shut down desire. She also talks about why long-term couples often drift into sexless patterns, and how misunderstanding can create painful distance. Ruth reframes midlife not as sexual decline but as potential transformation and, at its heart, this episode is about vulnerability, communication and rediscovering intimacy. And proving that midlife can be the beginning of the most connected sex of your life. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
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    1 hr and 4 mins
  • Midlife Stories: Living With Constant Self Doubt, with Graham Wood

    Midlife Stories: Living With Constant Self Doubt, with Graham Wood
    Feb 11 2026
    Comparison can be a paralysing trap that it's very hard to break free from. Clouded in a mindset of self-doubt, nothing ever feels enough, no matter what you achieve or how outwardly successful you appear. Comparison slowly erodes self-worth and leads to a life full of unsatisfaction that comes to a head in midlife. This week Paul is joined by Graham Wood for a remarkably candid and open conversation about a lifetime of anxiety, self-doubt and relentless comparison. Graham reflects on how an experience in childhood shaped his sense of self-worth, planting patterns of insecurity that followed him into adulthood. Despite a strong career, a long marriage, financial stability and raising twin teenagers, he describes living with persistent anxiety, low mood and insomnia due to deeply ingrained patterns of thinking. The episode explores how midlife can intensify long-standing mental health challenges, and Graham talks openly about job loss, career uncertainty in his 50s, worries about retirement, and the mental toll of constant rumination about past decisions and future fears. He also shares his experiences with therapy, antidepressants, self-help books, mindfulness, gratitude practices and the ongoing search for a “magic bullet” that never quite arrives. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast
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    43 mins