Episodes

  • Why Do Men Hide Behind "I'm Fine"?

    Why Do Men Hide Behind "I'm Fine"?
    Nov 26 2025
    Have you ever uttered the words "I’m fine" in response to someone asking how you are? And more to the point, have you ever said those words when you know, deep down, that you’re pretty far from fine? Most men have, and do. This episode of Middle Man was recorded live for International Men’s Day, and explores why so many men default to the phrase “I’m fine" even when they’re anything but. I'm joined by a panel of men working across male mental health, coaching and therapy: founder of ReachUs Jamie Humphrey; wellbeing coach and keynote speaker Andrew Pain; men's coach Dan Glyde; Dr Ed Rainbow; and therapist Olumide Ajulo. Across the discussion, the group dismantles the long-held cultural scripts that keep men silent: the Man Code, fear of shame, rigid expectations to be providers and protectors, and generations of conditioning that equate vulnerability with weakness. We talk openly about false bravado, emotional suppression, and the psychological strain of performing versions of ourselves that don’t match who we really are. We also examine the subtle ways men distance themselves from support, and explore the power of community, reciprocity, and shoulder-to-shoulder conversation, as well as the importance of therapy, self-reflection and learning emotional language. Ultimately, the episode is an invitation for men to start talking differently - with friends, partners and themselves. It’s a reminder that opening up doesn’t diminish masculinity; it broadens it. And that the simple act of not saying “I’m fine” could be the first step toward real connection and healing. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
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    46 mins
  • Relapse

    Relapse
    Nov 20 2025
    The last season of Middle Man finished with me saying the show would be back after the summer. But the summer came and went, and nothing. I've had messages asking when the podcast will be returning and enquiring after me, but nothing new has been published. Until now. So why the disappearing act? In today's episode, I talk honestly about what has been happening behind the scenes. I explain how what started as a planned summer break turned into something more serious: a relapse in mindset. And I reflect on how months of business decline, disrupted family life, financial pressure and health concerns slowly accumulated to pull me back into the feelings that first triggered Middle Man - overwhelm, self-doubt, loss of joy, and the sense of failing the people I love. I'm joined by fellow midlife podcaster Simon Burgess for an extremely frank and unfiltered exploration of the emotional realities many men experience but seldom articulate. We discuss the exhaustion of waking each day feeling empty, the constant mental noise, the fear of an uncertain future, and the guilt of feeling like you’re not enough for your family. The episode features a deeply personal, raw, bluntly honest and hopefully compassionate conversation for anyone feeling stuck, scared, or simply human. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
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    33 mins
  • One Year On: What I’ve Learned About Midlife (and Myself)

    One Year On: What I’ve Learned About Midlife (and Myself)
    Jul 30 2025
    In this special anniversary episode of Middle Man I sit down with my wife, Michelle, for a candid reflection on one year of exploring midlife as a man. I answer questions submitted by listeners that cover everything from what I've learned from doing the show and favourite guests and episodes to my own emotional health and self-worth, retirement, and building a more intentional life. During the conversation I share how far I've come, from feeling lost and apathetic to having a renewed sense of direction and purpose, thanks in part to the podcast itself and to coaching, and in part to simple daily habits like cold water immersion and journaling. We discuss the surprising emotional impact the podcast has had, listener feedback, and how talking openly has deepened our relationship. But I also open up about setbacks, especially around self-doubt and the challenge of building Middle Man into something bigger - an essential resource hub for men in midlife. The episode is honest, vulnerable and full of insight not just for men navigating their own midlife reset, but also for their partners. If you’ve ever questioned what’s next or how to regain your spark, this conversation is packed with reflections and tools to help. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
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    47 mins
  • A Quarter of Men are 'Just Surviving' or Feeling Overwhelmed - Darren Lawrence on Men Needing Help

    A Quarter of Men are 'Just Surviving' or Feeling Overwhelmed - Darren Lawrence on Men Needing Help
    Jul 23 2025
    Many midlife men feel isolated or overwhelmed but remain silent, often unaware that help is available or assuming they just need to ‘get on with it’. As a direct result they grapple with a number of emotional, social and practical challenges, from dwindling friendships and financial strain to burnout, low self-esteem, and a loss of joy. This week Paul is joined by Darren Lawrence, a coach and consultant to men who recently conducted a study called Understanding Men in Midlife that looks at what challenges midlife men face and what the hidden realities of male midlife are. They discuss the key findings from Darren’s research, including that 78% of men believe more support is needed, while over a quarter are either just surviving or feeling completely overwhelmed. Friendship loss and low energy top the list of concerns, yet many don’t know where to turn. Reflecting on his own experiences with redundancy, divorce and career reinvention, Darren opens up about how these events sparked his passion for helping other men navigate similar transitions. He also challenges the myth that ‘men don’t talk’, and calls for better awareness of how we support midlife wellbeing in families, workplaces, and communities. --------------- You can connect with Darren on LinkedIn. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
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    48 mins
  • Midlife Stories: Making Space in Your Life For Yourself, with Paul Marsh

    Midlife Stories: Making Space in Your Life For Yourself, with Paul Marsh
    Jul 16 2025
    Whether it’s a failed relationship or a career that is no longer fulfilling, many midlife men find themselves trapped in a life that they can no longer tolerate. Regardless, they try and live a conventional life governed by traditional expectations and practical considerations; working unfulfilling jobs to support a family, suppressing creative ambitions, and slowly losing touch with their identity. This week Paul is joined by Paul Marsh who, after 30 years of suffering a profound sense of purposelessness, is determined to make changes. Feeling trapped and isolated, he battled poor mental health for years, eventually leaving a relationship that wasn’t working and following a lifelong passion to try and establish himself as an artist. In a deeply personal conversation, Paul tells the story of how what began as a small, private escape became a vital source of self-expression, mental healing, and ultimately, professional ambition. He speaks candidly about the financial and emotional challenges of midlife change, the gender dynamics of the art world, and why he believes creativity is a vital outlet for men who struggle to articulate their emotions. Paul’s journey offers insight, inspiration and hope for anyone ready to rewrite their own story. --------------- You can connect with Paul on Instagram at @pfmarsh. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
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    44 mins
  • Anxiety and Burnout are Very Commonly Linked with Neurodiversity - Dr Martin Brunet on Autism and ADHD

    Anxiety and Burnout are Very Commonly Linked with Neurodiversity - Dr Martin Brunet on Autism and ADHD
    Jul 9 2025
    There has been a huge rise in the number of autism and ADHD diagnoses over the last two decades. And while many midlife men have spent years being treated for anxiety or depression without ever understanding the root cause, there could be a link between their mental health struggles and undiagnosed neurodiversity. This week Paul is joined by Dr Martin Brunet, author of the book Your Worry Makes Sense, to explore the hidden mental health struggles faced by midlife men and how neurodivergent conditions like autism and ADHD often go unrecognised in men in their 40s and 50s. Cultural and generational factors have led to underdiagnosis, but greater awareness today is helping men make sense of lifelong challenges. Martin discusses how understanding your own mental health and potential neurodiversity can lead to more compassionate self-management and a more sustainable lifestyle. The conversation also highlights the unique pressures midlife men face: career responsibility, caregiving roles, and the tendency to ‘push on’ rather than ask for help. And Martin’s message is clear: education is empowerment, and understanding your own mental landscape could be the first step to a more balanced, fulfilling life. --------------- You can follow Martin on Instagram and buy Your Worry Makes Sense on Amazon. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
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    54 mins
  • A Man’s Guide to Menopause, with Dr Naomi Potter

    A Man’s Guide to Menopause, with Dr Naomi Potter
    Jul 2 2025
    Menopause exploded into the public consciousness a few years ago thanks largely to the book Menopausing by Davina McCall and Dr Naomi Potter. While a woman’s experience of menopause is deeply personal, it also touches the men around them - partners, colleagues, friends, and family. This week Paul is joined by co-author of Menopausing and founder of the UK’s leading menopause clinic, Dr Potter. Through the lens of the people who love the women going through it, they explore the realities of menopause and perimenopause in an attempt to gain a better understanding of their impact. Naomi explains the difference between perimenopause and menopause, highlighting the chaotic hormone fluctuations, the 70+ symptoms women may face, and the mental toll it can take, including loss of identity, confidence, and energy. The conversation delves into the stigma and misdiagnosis still surrounding menopause, and Naomi discusses how awareness is growing and encourages men to educate themselves, listen with empathy, and avoid personalising the emotional and behavioural changes they might witness. This episode is a must-listen for any man wanting to better support the women in his life and for anyone curious about the emotional, physical, and relational impacts of menopause. --------------- You can follow Naomi on Instagram and buy Menopausing on Amazon. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
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    42 mins
  • Midlife Stories: Self Harm as a Coping Mechanism, with David Salmon

    Midlife Stories: Self Harm as a Coping Mechanism, with David Salmon
    Jun 25 2025
    Coping mechanisms can take many forms for midlife men, from drinking a bit too much to isolating oneself to overworking to emotional eating. Self harm can be at the more extreme end of the scale, but it is not uncommon for a man experiencing burnout, anxiety or depression to use this as a way of getting through life. This week Paul is joined by David Salmon for a deeply personal and raw conversation. David has been though a number of traumatic life events in recent years, and opens up about confronting in midlife a deep-rooted coping mechanism that no longer served him. He describes the challenges that have shadowed him since his teenage years and culminated in a crisis during the pandemic. Through therapy, self-reflection, and supportive relationships, David has gradually learned to understand his mental health, identifying patterns of self-criticism, stress responses, and the shame that often keeps men suffering in silence. He speaks candidly about the emotional toll of being a people pleaser in high-pressure work environments, the loneliness of modern male life, and the importance of creating space for meaning and connection beyond career achievements. If you or anyone around you is affected by this episode, you can contact The Samaritans on 116 123 or text 'SHOUT' to 85258. --------------- You can connect with David on LinkedIn. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
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    46 mins