Susan Scott: She is a best‐selling author and leadership development architect. She has enabled top executives worldwide to engage in vibrant dialogue with one another, their employees, and their customers for two decades. With nearly 1 million books sold, Susan Scott makes it clear what gets discussed in a relationship and how it gets talked about determines whether a relationship will thrive, flat-line, or fail. Through courageous, passionate storytelling her new book provides an entertaining, relevant, and optimistic approach to relationship building that will connect couples at a deeper level. Fierce Conversations — Achieving Success at Work and in Life, One Conversation at a Time was published in 4 countries and, shortly thereafter, was listed in The Wall Street Journal and was one of USA TODAY’S top 40 business books of 2002. Her much anticipated second book — Fierce Leadership: A Bold Alternative to the Worst “Best” Practices of Business Today hit The Wall Street Journal and The New York Times best-seller lists. Susan and her company are committed to large‐scale and individual transformation through the principles set forth in Susan’s books and her company’s customized corporate training programs. For 13 years, Susan ran think tanks for CEOs and designed and delivered training to peers working with CEOs in 18 countries.

Highlights of the Episode:

1. “You Complete Me!” No one completes you, you complete yourself. Many women and men in love say that their partner is their “missing piece”, “other half” or “better side.” Some people even go out looking for this in love. This almost always backfires.

2. “True Love is Unconditional!” This myth can come as a shock to many and can be a very hard pill to swallow for most. Why? Because this is the baseline of almost every romantic movie you’ve seen. We’ve been conditioned to believe that this is true! “True love will always find a way”, “True love conquers all”, and “True love means never having to say you’re sorry”. This is all wrong!

3. “You Must Fulfill My List” I had a friend show me her list of ideal characteristics in a partner and when I saw it, my jaw dropped. Not only was the list exceptionally long, but it was also unrealistically detailed. The problem with lists is they actually limit the possibilities that can come to us. We might think we are getting “real with ourselves” when we make a list, but we’re really just putting expectations on the next person that enters our lives romantically. These lists are a symptom of perfectionism. You’re chasing a fantasy person that does not exist. How could they? Your list of demands is totally made up!

4. “If You Loved Me, You’d Know” How many times have you said or thought, “If he or she loved me, they’d know I’d need … fill in the blank (a hug, to be held, a cup of tea, etc.)”. The truth is, your partner doesn’t know! Because guess what? As Miles Davis said, “If you understood everything I said, you’d be me.” You aren’t dating your clone… So speak up!

5. “Love Is All You Need” Love is not all you need because as humans, we have many needs. And just because you’re in a romantic relationship does not mean that love is all you can survive on, let alone thrive. Sometimes what we need is difficult to pinpoint, so we might “leave it up to love” to give us what we don’t know we want yet, but here’s the truth: Love can’t give us what we want if we don’t know what we want.