Episodes

  • Impulsive, Confused, Regretful? You Might Be Missing This Key ADHD Skill

    Impulsive, Confused, Regretful? You Might Be Missing This Key ADHD Skill
    Aug 9 2025

    Ever found yourself blurting something out, making a random decision, or spiraling into shame after a hyperfocus bender — only to ask yourself later, “What was I even thinking?” You’re not broken — but you might be missing a critical executive function skill that ADHD brains often struggle with: metacognition.

    In this episode, we’re diving deep into the skill of “thinking about thinking” — what it is, why it’s often offline in ADHD brains, and how it affects everything from our relationships to our routines. You’ll learn how weak metacognition keeps us stuck in reactive loops, and why it's so hard to hit pause when our brains are wired for go-go-go.

    We’ll break down:

    * What metacognition actually is (with real-life ADHD examples)

    * Why the ADHD brain skips the self-reflection step entirely

    * The neuroscience of the prefrontal cortex and executive dysfunction

    * Why impulsive decisions and delayed regret are more about wiring than willpower

    * How to start training your internal coach instead of listening to your inner critic

    Plus, I’ll share 5 science-backed, ADHD-friendly strategies to strengthen your metacognitive muscle — no shame, no “just try harder,” and no 50-page bullet journal required.

    If you’ve ever looked back and wondered, “Why did I do that?” — this episode is for you.

    metacognition moment resource: https://www.canva.com/design/DAGrRQu7-6w/4_XASV7kxlDvciLgIc5PFA/view?utm_content=DAGrRQu7-6w&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link2&utm_source=uniquelinks&utlId=hbd3d132f02

    Follow me:

    Linktree:

    https://linktr.ee/carmen_irace

    Join Focused: https://ihaveadhdllc.ontralink.com/t?orid=29951&opid=1



    Get full access to carmen_authenticallyadhd at carmenauthenticallyadhd.substack.com/subscribe
    Show More Show Less
    34 mins
  • The Clock is Ticking: Understanding ADHD Time Anxiety

    The Clock is Ticking: Understanding ADHD Time Anxiety
    Aug 2 2025

    Summary: Ever feel like you're running late to your own life? Same. In this hilariously honest episode, Carmen dives headfirst into the whirlwind world of ADHD time anxiety — that all-too-familiar panic that shows up when a deadline is looming… or already passed. 🫠

    We explore why ADHD brains experience time differently, how "Now vs. Not Now" becomes our default scheduling system (thanks, executive dysfunction!), and why we’re constantly torn between hyperfocus and full-blown avoidance. Spoiler alert: it’s not laziness — it’s dopamine-driven chaos.

    But don't worry, it's not just a vent session. Carmen breaks down ten game-changing strategies for planning without panic — including flexible scheduling, intuitive planning, dopamine-friendly rewards, and structured spontaneity (yes, that’s a thing). You’ll walk away with a toolkit for managing your time your way — with compassion, humor, and a whole lot of “me too.”

    Whether you're a deadline daredevil, a professional procrastinator, or someone who just wants to stop time from feeling like a booby trap — this episode is for you.

    🔥 Topics Covered:

    * ADHD and the neuroscience of time blindness

    * Why the future feels fake until it’s on fire

    * How executive dysfunction messes with time perception

    * 10 ADHD-friendly strategies to reduce time-based anxiety

    * And yes, we talk about tacos.

    👂 Tune in for validation, laughs, and real tools to help you stop spiraling and start working with your brain (not against it). Let’s turn the clock into an ally, not the enemy.

    🕰️ Tag someone who lives in the “Now or Not Now” time zone and hit play!

    @authenticallyadhd_podcast

    Follow me:

    Linktree:

    https://linktr.ee/carmen_irace

    Join Focused: https://ihaveadhdllc.ontralink.com/t?orid=29951&opid=1



    Get full access to carmen_authenticallyadhd at carmenauthenticallyadhd.substack.com/subscribe
    Show More Show Less
    36 mins
  • ADHD & Self-Awareness: Understanding Your Unique Brain

    ADHD & Self-Awareness: Understanding Your Unique Brain
    Jul 26 2025
    ADHD & Self-Awareness: Understanding Your Unique BrainCarmen (voice-over): Hey everyone, it’s Carmen here from Authentically ADHD. Have you ever felt like you just don’t know yourself? Like your brain is a mystery you can’t solve? (I see your hand – yes, you too!) You’re not alone. Today we’re talking about ADHD and self-awareness – what that even means, why it’s so tricky for us ADHDers, and how to start building trust in ourselves anyway. We’ll go deep into the science, share real-life stories (hey, I’m no exception!), and even throw in a little humor – because sometimes laughing at our quirks is the best medicine.Quick overview: In this episode, I’ll explain why ADHD makes self-awareness hard (from executive functions to time blindness), how that struggle feels (frustration, self-doubt, and those emotional roller coasters), and then dive into practical strategies for building self-trust and insight. I’ll break it down into tips for teens and adults, since our brains and lives can be a bit different. Ready? Let’s go!Why ADHD Brains Struggle with Self-AwarenessFirst, let’s define what we mean by self-awareness. Simply put, it’s your ability to self-reflect, self-evaluate, and think about your own thinking. Think of it as the “brain’s mirror” – it lets you see your behaviors, emotions, and thoughts clearly, and learn from them. In psychology terms, it’s often called metacognition. Researchers note that self-awareness is a key executive function – basically one of our brain’s management skills. Unfortunately, ADHD often comes with executive function challenges, and yes, self-awareness is one of those tricky pieces.Dr. Russell Barkley, a leading ADHD researcher, actually puts it bluntly: ADHD is a disorder of self-regulation. We struggle to “adult” not because we’re lazy or bad, but because the brain skills that manage ourselves were delayed or impaired. In fact, Barkley’s team points out that ADHD involves deficits in things like self-restraint, self-awareness, self-control of emotion, and self-motivation. In other words, our internal “boss” is weaker. Kristen Carder – another expert and host of the I Have ADHD podcast – explains it simply: “ADHD is a disorder of self-regulation… we struggle to focus because our executive functions are deficient, and we can’t regulate ourselves properly.”.Let’s break down the key brain reasons behind this:Deficient Executive Functions (EFs): Executive functions are like the brain’s CEO, planning tasks and managing actions. In ADHD, these are on the lower side. One of the six main EFs is exactly self-awareness (along with inhibition, working memory, etc.). Because ADHDers often have impaired EFs, our ability to notice and reflect on ourselves is less mature. Barkley even describes ADHD as a sort of “self-regulation deficit disorder,” meaning most EF skills are lagging. This isn’t your fault – it’s how the ADHD brain developed.Weak Working Memory: Working memory is your mental scratchpad – it holds pieces of information so you can use them in the moment. With ADHD, working memory (especially visual/spatial memory) often underperforms. Kristen Carder highlights this: our working memory should help us understand where we are in time and space, but ADHD brains tend to live too much in the “right now”. We literally forget what just happened or where we put things in seconds! This weak working memory means we struggle to recall past actions or project future consequences – both of which are vital for self-awareness.Time Blindness: Related to working memory is a phenomenon you’ve probably heard: time blindness. Dr. Barkley calls ADHD a “nearsightedness to the future.” He explains that people with ADHD are great at the “now,” but tend to lose track of time and future planning. On a practical level, this means deadlines sneak up on us, and we hyperfocus on immediate tasks without realizing how long they take. As one occupational therapist blog put it, ADHD time blindness is a “consistent inability to stay aware of time and consider the future in the present moment”. If you feel like hours can vanish in a blink – like you just started watching Netflix and suddenly it’s midnight – that’s the classic ADHD time warp. Without a good sense of past vs. future, it’s tough to reflect on what really happened or plan for what will happen, hurting our self-awareness.Emotional & Cognitive Overload: Let’s not forget emotional regulation, a cousin to self-awareness. ADHD often comes with intense emotions. A study describes ADHDers having overactive amygdalas (emotion centers) and underactive frontal cortex (self-control center). The result? We feel things more strongly and have a harder time stepping back. When an emotional wave hits, self-reflection goes out the window. (Ever snapped at a loved one then immediately felt guilty but couldn’t explain why? Welcome to ADHD ...
    Show More Show Less
    38 mins
  • ADHD and Careers

    ADHD and Careers
    Jul 19 2025

    Welcome to another episode of Authentically ADHD! Today, we're diving into a topic close to many of our hearts: choosing a career that aligns with our ADHD strengths and passions.

    Navigating career paths can be overwhelming, especially with ADHD traits like creativity, hyperfocus, and unconventional thinking. We'll explore how these qualities can be superpowers in the right career.

    Join us as we discuss practical tips for:

    * Identifying Your Strengths: Understanding how ADHD traits like spontaneity, problem-solving skills, and hyperfocus can benefit specific career paths.

    * Exploring Interests: Strategies to explore diverse interests and passions effectively, ensuring your career reflects what truly energizes you.

    * Finding Structure: How to seek careers with flexibility and dynamic environments that accommodate ADHD needs while fostering growth.

    * Overcoming Challenges: Addressing common hurdles like time management, organization, and maintaining focus in a career setting.

    Whether you're reconsidering your current career path or embarking on a new journey, this episode will equip you with insights and strategies to navigate the world of work authentically, ADHD style!

    Article:

    Linktree:

    https://linktr.ee/carmen_irace

    Join Focused: https://ihaveadhdllc.ontralink.com/t?orid=29951&opid=1



    Get full access to carmen_authenticallyadhd at carmenauthenticallyadhd.substack.com/subscribe
    Show More Show Less
    50 mins
  • ADHD and Co-Occurring Conditions: Anxiety, Mood, and Learning Disorders

    ADHD and Co-Occurring Conditions: Anxiety, Mood, and Learning Disorders
    Jul 12 2025
    Welcome or welcome back to Authentically ADHD, the podcast where we embrace the chaos and magic of the ADHD brain. Im carmen and today we're diving into a topic that's as complex as my filing system (which is to say, very): ADHD and its common co-occurring mood and learning disorders. Fasten your seatbelts (and if you're like me, try not to get distracted by the shiny window view) – we're talking anxiety, depression, OCD, dyslexia, dyscalculia, and bipolar disorder, all hanging out with ADHD.Why cover this? Because ADHD rarely rides solo. In fact, research compiled by Dr. Russell Barkley finds that over 80% of children and adults with ADHD have at least one other psychiatric disorder, and more than half have two or more coexisting conditions. Two-thirds of folks with ADHD have at least one coexisting condition, and often the classic ADHD symptoms (you know, fidgeting, daydreaming, “Did I leave the stove on?” moments) can overshadow those other disorders. It’s like ADHD is the friend who talks so loud at the party that you don't notice the quieter buddies (like anxiety or dyslexia) tagging along in the background.But we’re going to notice them today. With a blend of humor, sass, and solid neuroscience (yes, we can be funny and scientific – ask me how I know!), we’ll explore how each of these conditions shows up alongside ADHD. We’ll talk about how they can be misdiagnosed or missed entirely, and—most importantly—we’ll dish out strategies to tell them apart and tackle both. Knowledge is power and self-awareness is the key, especially when it comes to untangling ADHD’s web of quirks and comrades in chaos. So, let’s get into it!ADHD and Anxiety: Double Trouble in OverdriveLet’s start with anxiety, ADHD’s frequent (and frantic) companion. Ever had your brain ping-pong between “I can’t focus on this work” and “I’m so worried I’ll mess it up”? That’s ADHD and anxiety playing tango in your head. It’s a double whammy: ADHD makes it hard to concentrate, and anxiety cranks up the worry about consequences. As one study notes, about 2 in 5 children with ADHD have significant problems with anxiety, and over half of adults with ADHD do as well. In other words, if you have ADHD and feel like a nervous wreck half the time, you’re not alone – you’re in very good (and jittery) company.ADHD and anxiety can look a lot alike on the surface. Both can make you restless, unfocused, and irritable. I mean, is it ADHD distractibility or am I just too busy worrying about everything to pay attention? (Hint: it can be both.) Especially for women, ADHD is often overlooked and mislabeled as anxiety. Picture a girl who can’t concentrate in class: if she’s constantly daydreaming and fidgety, one teacher calls it ADHD. Another sees a quiet, overwhelmed student and calls it anxiety. Same behavior, different labels. Women in particular have had their ADHD misdiagnosed as anxiety or mood issues for years, partly because anxious females tend to internalize symptoms (less hyperactive, more “worrier”), and that masks the ADHD beneath.So how do we tell ADHD and anxiety apart? One clue is where the distraction comes from. ADHD is like having 100 TV channels in your brain and someone else is holding the remote – your attention just flips on its own. Anxiety, on the other hand, is like one channel stuck on a horror movie; you can’t focus on other things because a worry (or ten) is running on repeat. An adult with ADHD might forget a work deadline because, well, ADHD. An adult with anxiety might miss the deadline because they were paralyzed worrying about being perfect. Both end up missing the deadline (relatable – ask me how I know), but for different reasons.Neuroscience is starting to unravel this knot. There’s evidence of a genetic link between ADHD and anxiety – the two often run in the family together. In brain studies, both conditions involve irregularities in the prefrontal cortex (the brain’s command center for focus and planning) and the limbic system (emotion center). Essentially, if your brain were a car, ADHD means the brakes (inhibition) are a bit loose, and anxiety means the alarm system is hyper-sensitive. Combine loose brakes with a blaring alarm and you get… well, us. Fun times, right?Here’s an interesting tidbit: Females with ADHD are more likely to report anxiety than males. Some experts think this is partly due to underdiagnosed ADHD – many girls grew up being told they were just “worrywarts” when in fact ADHD was lurking underneath, making everyday life more overwhelming and thus feeding anxiety. As Dr. Thomas Brown (a top ADHD expert) points out, emotional regulation difficulties (like chronic stress or worry) are characteristic of ADHD, even though they’re not in the official DSM checklist. Our ADHD brains can amplify emotions – so a normal worry for someone else becomes a five-alarm fire for us.Now, action time: How do we manage this ...
    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 21 mins
  • Authentically ADHD – ADHD, Alexithymia, and Anhedonia: Understanding Emotions and Motivation

    Authentically ADHD – ADHD, Alexithymia, and Anhedonia: Understanding Emotions and Motivation
    Jul 5 2025
    Authentically ADHD – ADHD, Alexithymia, and Anhedonia: Understanding Emotions and MotivationHello and welcome to Authentically ADHD! I’m Carmen, your host. Today, we’re diving into a topic that might hit very close to home for a lot of us: the confusing intersection of ADHD, alexithymia, and anhedonia. Now, those are some big, clinical-sounding words – but don’t worry. We’re going to break them down in plain language and talk about how they can overlap in real life. If you’ve ever thought, “Why can’t I figure out what I’m feeling?” or “Why don’t I enjoy things the way I used to?”, or if you find yourself emotionally drained after a long day of masking your ADHD traits, then this episode is for you.In this 25–30 minute journey, we’ll mix a bit of neuroscience (in a friendly, non-intimidating way) with personal storytelling. I’ll share some of my own experiences, and we’ll explore what research says about why these experiences happen. By the end, you’ll have a clearer understanding of what ADHD, alexithymia, and anhedonia really mean, why they often go hand-in-hand (especially in neurodivergent folks like us), and what we can do to cope and thrive. We’ll also bust some common myths and misunderstandings – including why these issues often get overlooked or dismissed, especially in women and people diagnosed later in life. And as always, we’ll wrap up with strategies and a big dose of validation and hope. So, get comfy (or start that task you’ve been putting off and take us along!), and let’s get started.Understanding ADHD, Alexithymia, and AnhedoniaBefore we delve into how these things intersect, let’s clearly define each of these terms. They each describe a different piece of the puzzle of our emotional and mental life. Understanding what they are will help us see how they connect. In a nutshell:ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder): ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by persistent patterns of inattention (difficulty focusing, forgetfulness), hyperactivity (restlessness, fidgeting), and impulsivity (acting without thinking) that interfere with daily functioningneurolaunch.com. In adults, ADHD can look like struggling to stay organized, constantly losing your keys, jumping from one idea to another, or even feeling emotionally impulsive. It’s not just “kids being hyper” – it’s a lifelong brain-based condition affecting how we concentrate, manage time, and regulate behavior and emotions.Alexithymia: Alexithymia is not a disorder but a personality trait or profile, often described as having difficulty identifying and describing your emotionsneurodivergentinsights.com. The word literally means “without words for emotion.” If you have alexithymia, you might feel strong emotions physically (like a racing heart or a knot in your stomach) but struggle to pinpoint what the emotion is (is it anxiety? anger? hunger?) and find words to express it. Alexithymia exists on a spectrum – some people have mild trouble with emotions, others have it to a more severe degreeneurodivergentinsights.com. It frequently co-occurs with neurodivergent conditions; in fact, research suggests that a significant subset of people with ADHD (estimates range from about 20% to over 40%) also have alexithymianeurodivergentinsights.combhcsmt.com. So, if you have ADHD and you’ve always felt “out of touch” with your emotions, alexithymia might be a concept that resonates with you.Anhedonia: Anhedonia means an inability or reduced ability to experience pleasure. It’s like the volume knob for enjoyment is turned way down. People with anhedonia struggle to feel joy or interest in activities that used to be fun or rewardingneurolaunch.com. This term is often discussed in the context of depression (since losing pleasure is a core symptom of depressive episodes), but it’s not exclusive to depression. As we’ll explore, anhedonia can also show up in ADHD. If you find that hobbies, socializing, or accomplishments don’t light you up the way they do for others (or the way they once did for you), anhedonia could be at play. It can feel like emotional flatness or being chronically “uninspired” – you want to want things, but the feeling isn’t there.Each of these three – ADHD, alexithymia, and anhedonia – is distinct. ADHD is an officially recognized neurodevelopmental condition affecting attention and self-regulation. Alexithymia is a descriptive trait about emotional awareness. Anhedonia is a symptom state of not experiencing pleasure. Yet, despite their differences, these experiences often overlap and tangle together, especially for neurodivergent individuals. When someone has ADHD, they’re more likely to also experience traits of alexithymianeurodivergentinsights.com, and they may be more prone to anhedonia or “low hedonic tone” (low baseline ability to feel reward) than the general populationen.wikipedia.org. Why is that? Let’s dig...
    Show More Show Less
    42 mins
  • ADHD and the Tangled Web of Self-Trust

    ADHD and the Tangled Web of Self-Trust
    Jun 28 2025
    Hey there, welcome back to Authentically ADHD! I'm so glad you pressed play on this episode today, because its on a topic that when I learned it, i found out it was the work i never knew i was missing and this skill has given me so much more access to my authentic self. Today, we're diving into a big, messy, important topic: self-trust – or as I like to call it, the tangled web of self-trust. Now, if you just chuckled nervously or sighed "ugh, self-trust...", you're in the right place. Stick around for the next 25 minutes, and we'll untangle this web together with a healthy dose of honesty, humor, and hope.Host (conversational): So, self-trust. Raise your hand if you've ever said something like, "I can't trust myself to do anything right!" (I'm raising mine high, by the way). Maybe you promised yourself you'd start that project well before the deadline, only to find yourself pulling an all-nighter again. Or you swore you'd not forget your friend's birthday this time, and then... whoops, you did – again. If any of this rings a bell, you are so not alone. In fact, one ADHD coach bluntly observed: "This is the truth about ADHD and self-trust: it doesn’t exist. ADHD adults don’t trust themselves at all. Our self-concept begins to erode pretty early in life". Ouch, right? That sounds harsh, but for many of us it feels true. Our confidence in ourselves got pretty banged up over the years.Host (relatable anecdote): I want to start with a little story here. Picture late-diagnosed me a few years back, before I knew I had ADHD. Every morning I'd pep-talk myself: "Today, I'm gonna get everything on my to-do list done. I got this." And every evening I'd go to bed thinking, "I screwed it up again. What is wrong with me?" I remember once triple-booking my Saturday because Past Me didn't trust Future Me to actually remember my plans – I figured at least one of those events I'd flake on, so better to have backups! 🤦‍♀️ Yeah... my self-trust was basically non-existent. And the less I trusted myself, the more anxious and overbooked I became. It's a vicious cycle.Host (upbeat): Well, friends, it's time to break that cycle. Today we'll cover a lot: We'll bust the common myths about self-trust (spoiler: it's not about being perfect). We'll define what real self-trust means – including a quote that changed the way I think about it. We'll explore why so many of us with ADHD struggle with self-trust (we'll dip into a little neuroscience and psychology, including some Internal Family Systems theory and insights from ADHD coach Kristen Carder). And of course, we'll get practical: I'll share 7 strategies – both practical hacks and mindset shifts – to help you rebuild your self-trust as an ADHD adult. Plus, I've got 7 reflection prompts for you, so you can dig into your own self-trust story after the episode. Sound good? Alright, let's jump in!The Myth of Self-Trust (Especially in ADHD)Host (slightly humorous): First, let's talk about what a lot of us think self-trust means. I used to imagine that “self-trust” was basically me turning into some magically responsible, never-make-a-mistake unicorn. Like, if I truly trusted myself, I’d do everything right – I'd make the perfect choices, follow through on all my plans flawlessly, and probably have alphabetized spice racks while I was at it. (Because obviously, trusted-self-me has it that together, right?)Host (empathetic): Turns out, this idea is everywhere. We ADHDers often define self-trust as “I believe I’ll do everything perfectly and stick to every commitment, no matter what.” In the words of ADHD coach Kristen Carder, usually we think “self-trust” means “I believe that all of my choices are going to be perfect, and I believe that I will follow through on everything I say I’m going to do”. Sound familiar? We basically equate trusting ourselves with never messing up. And if you're anything like me (or like most people, really), that bar is waaaay too high. No wonder we feel like we can't trust ourselves – by that definition, nobody on the planet could!Host (reassuring): So let's bust that myth right now. Self-trust is NOT "I trust myself to always do the right thing and be perfect and follow through 100%." Nope. That common misconception is a recipe for self-loathing, especially for those of us with ADHD who might leave a trail of unfinished projects and oopsies in our wake. If you've been thinking, "I can't trust myself because I keep dropping the ball," you're operating under the wrong definition of self-trust. And it's time to rewrite that definition.What Is Real Self-Trust? (Redefining It)Host (inviting): Okay, so if self-trust isn't about perfection, what is it about? I am so glad you asked. This redefinition was a game-changer for me, and I want to share it with you.(slight pause for effect)One of my favorite quotes on this comes again from Kristen Carder, who reframed it beautifully. She explains that real self-trust ...
    Show More Show Less
    54 mins
  • Why Am I Always at Odds With Myself? ADHD and the Tug-of-War Within

    Why Am I Always at Odds With Myself? ADHD and the Tug-of-War Within
    Jun 25 2025

    In this deep-dive episode, Carmen explores the constant inner conflict many adults with ADHD experience—what psychology calls cognitive dissonance. It's that mental tug-of-war between what we intend to do and what we actually do, often amplified in ADHD brains due to emotional dysregulation, executive dysfunction, masking, and rejection sensitivity.

    Using real-life examples, neuroscience, and humor (because healing doesn’t have to be boring), Carmen unpacks why ADHD brains are particularly vulnerable to these internal battles—and why it’s not laziness but wiring.

    🧠 Listeners learn how ADHD impacts conflict detection in the brain, how people-pleasing and overcommitment fuel identity confusion, and why masking can lead to a fractured sense of self.

    🧰 From Chaos to Clarity: 5 Science-Backed Strategies

    To turn the inner war into teamwork, Carmen shares five practical tools:

    * Journaling – Externalize the chaos and gain insight into internal conflicts.

    * Visualization – Mentally rehearse success and reduce anxiety about feared outcomes.

    * Mindfulness – Train your attention and regulate emotional storms in real time.

    * Values Clarification – Anchor decisions to your personal compass, not “shoulds.”

    * Flexible Planning – Plan with grace, not rigidity, to accommodate ADHD’s unpredictability.

    💡 Takeaway Message:

    You’re not “too much” or “not enough”—you’re wired differently, and that wiring explains the dissonance. But with the right tools and some self-compassion (backed by neuroscience!), you can stop feeling at war with yourself and start collaborating with your brain.



    Get full access to carmen_authenticallyadhd at carmenauthenticallyadhd.substack.com/subscribe
    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 29 mins