Trigger Warning

This episode includes mentions of intrusive thoughts and parental burnout. Please take care while listening.

Episode Overview

Have you ever gone from wanting to run away to feeling overwhelming love for your kids — all within five minutes? You’re not delusional. You’re devoted.

In this raw and deeply relatable episode, Jane unpacks the wild emotional contradictions of raising neurodivergent children — the chaos, the guilt, and the strange, feral kind of joy that sneaks in when you least expect it.

Drawing on the latest neuroscience and parenting research, she shares how joy isn’t mythical — it’s mechanical. There’s a recipe for it, and ADHD mums can learn to bring it back even in the middle of messy mornings and meltdown chaos.

What You’ll Hear

• Jane’s honest story of one chaotic morning that spirals from meltdown to meaning
• Why joy and rage can coexist — and what it means for ADHD brains
• How Self-Determination Theory (Deci & Ryan, 2000) shows us the three switches for joy: Autonomy, Competence, and Relatedness
• What the “Nowhere I’d Rather Be” study revealed about parents of autistic children finding real joy because of, not despite, their children
• Practical micro-shifts you can make today to feel joy again — even if your house is held together by hair ties and hope

This Episode Is For You If...

• You love your child but sometimes feel like you’re losing your mind
• You’ve ever cried in the car after drop-off, then felt deep love minutes later
• You’re craving joy but feel too exhausted to find it
• You need a reminder that devotion, not delusion, drives your parenting

Key Takeaway

Joy isn’t a reward for getting everything right — it’s a survival instinct. It hides in micro-moments of choice, competence, and connection. When you flip those switches, joy finds its way back.

Resources Mentioned

• Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). Self-Determination Theory: Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227–268.
• Schultz, W., Dayan, P., & Montague, P. R. (1997). Reward Prediction Error: Science, 275(5306), 1593–1599.
• Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow. Harper & Row.
• Dietrich, A. (2004). Neurocognitive Framing: Consciousness and Cognition, 13(4), 746–761.
• “Nowhere I’d Rather Be” (UK study on autistic parenting joy, 2023)

Related ADHD Mums Episodes

• The Lipedema Op: The Invisible Illness You Weren’t Supposed to Notice — Finding identity beyond diagnosis

Listen Now

🎧 Spotify | Apple | ADHDMums.com.au

JOIN THE COMMUNITY:

Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small,

💊 Why do ADHD meds seem like a miracle one week… and stop working the next?

If you’ve ever sat there wondering if you’re failing because the meds don’t seem to work anymore — you’re not broken, and you’re not alone.

In this episode, Jane tackles the most common questions ADHD mums ask about medication for kids. From appetite loss and 3PM crashes to puberty shifts and masking, we break down what’s really happening, why it feels so complex, and what meds can (and can’t) do.

What We Cover in This Episode

• Why ADHD meds can feel amazing at first — then glitch later
• The science behind appetite loss, afternoon crashes, and big emotions
• Puberty, growth, and co-occurring conditions that change how meds land
• Masking at school vs meltdowns at home — and why it matters
• Why parenting burnout and school systems can’t be “fixed” by medication
• Reframing meds: support, not a cure

This Episode Is For You If…

• Your child’s ADHD meds felt like a miracle but “stopped working”
• You’re confused by side effects like loss of appetite or late-day crashes
• You’ve blamed yourself for meds not doing enough
• You’re parenting through ADHD plus anxiety, autism, or sensory overload
• You need validation that you’re not failing — you’re navigating complexity

✨ Listen now: ADHD Meds & Kids — Your FAQ Answered on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or adhdmums.com.au — because parenting ADHD with meds is hard enough without shame on top.

Visit Dr Tommy Tran's website at https://www.drtommytran.com.au/

JOIN THE COMMUNITY:

Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format!

FOLLOW FOR MORE:

Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube

LEAVE A REVIEW:

Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together.

COLLABS:

For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at jane@adhdmums.com.au.

MORE RESOURCES:

Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here.

Mentioned in this episode:

💛 ADHD MUMS PROGRAM LINK 💛 The Festive F*ck-It Plan — The ADHD Mum’s Xmas Four short audios. One simple workbook. Zero guilt. Plan Christmas your way — calm, doable, and actually includes you in it. 👉 (https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/768431/169103366851396775/share)

Sign Up Link

For ADHD mums, school pickup isn’t chit chat — it’s performance. The smiles, the nods, the weather talk. On the outside you look friendly. On the inside, you’re collapsing.

In this Quick Reset, Jane unpacks why masking at the school gate feels so exhausting, how it impacts ADHD and autistic mums, and why it’s not about being unfriendly — it’s about survival.

• Why everyday small talk at school pickup can lead to masking, exhaustion, and car park tears.
• How chronic masking in social situations (play dates, birthday parties, pickup and drop off) leads to burnout and mental health struggles.
• Research on the Double Empathy Gap by Damian Milton, and why neurodivergent communication breakdowns are misunderstood.
• Jane’s ADHD Mum School Pickup Guide — practical insights for getting through without faking it.

• You’ve ever left school pickup early because you couldn’t fake one more smile.
• You collapse in the car after masking your way through birthday parties or play dates.
• You’ve been judged as rude, antisocial, or unfriendly — when you were just maxed out.
• You want to feel less alone in the invisible cost of social masking as an ADHD mum.

• Research on the Double Empathy Gap by Damian Milton.
• ADHD Mum School Pickup Guide.

🎧 Listen now: Spotify | Apple | adhdmums.com.au

JOIN THE COMMUNITY:

Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format!

FOLLOW FOR MORE:

Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube

LEAVE A REVIEW:

Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together.

COLLABS:

For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at jane@adhdmums.com.au.

MORE RESOURCES:

Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here.

Mentioned in this episode:

🎁ADHD MUMS PROGRAM LINK🎄

Four short audios. One simple workbook. Plan Christmas your way — calm, doable, and actually includes you in it. 👉 www.adhdmums.com.au/plan

Xmas: Sign Up Link