Trigger Warning

This episode includes mentions of intrusive thoughts and parental burnout. Please take care while listening.

Episode Overview

Have you ever gone from wanting to run away to feeling overwhelming love for your kids — all within five minutes? You’re not delusional. You’re devoted.

In this raw and deeply relatable episode, Jane unpacks the wild emotional contradictions of raising neurodivergent children — the chaos, the guilt, and the strange, feral kind of joy that sneaks in when you least expect it.

Drawing on the latest neuroscience and parenting research, she shares how joy isn’t mythical — it’s mechanical. There’s a recipe for it, and ADHD mums can learn to bring it back even in the middle of messy mornings and meltdown chaos.

What You’ll Hear

• Jane’s honest story of one chaotic morning that spirals from meltdown to meaning
• Why joy and rage can coexist — and what it means for ADHD brains
• How Self-Determination Theory (Deci & Ryan, 2000) shows us the three switches for joy: Autonomy, Competence, and Relatedness
• What the “Nowhere I’d Rather Be” study revealed about parents of autistic children finding real joy because of, not despite, their children
• Practical micro-shifts you can make today to feel joy again — even if your house is held together by hair ties and hope

This Episode Is For You If...

• You love your child but sometimes feel like you’re losing your mind
• You’ve ever cried in the car after drop-off, then felt deep love minutes later
• You’re craving joy but feel too exhausted to find it
• You need a reminder that devotion, not delusion, drives your parenting

Key Takeaway

Joy isn’t a reward for getting everything right — it’s a survival instinct. It hides in micro-moments of choice, competence, and connection. When you flip those switches, joy finds its way back.

Resources Mentioned

• Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). Self-Determination Theory: Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227–268.
• Schultz, W., Dayan, P., & Montague, P. R. (1997). Reward Prediction Error: Science, 275(5306), 1593–1599.
• Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow. Harper & Row.
• Dietrich, A. (2004). Neurocognitive Framing: Consciousness and Cognition, 13(4), 746–761.
• “Nowhere I’d Rather Be” (UK study on autistic parenting joy, 2023)

Related ADHD Mums Episodes

• The Lipedema Op: The Invisible Illness You Weren’t Supposed to Notice — Finding identity beyond diagnosis

Listen Now

🎧 Spotify | Apple | ADHDMums.com.au

JOIN THE COMMUNITY:

Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small,

💊 Why do ADHD meds seem like a miracle one week… and stop working the next?

If you’ve ever sat there wondering if you’re failing because the meds don’t seem to work anymore — you’re not broken, and you’re not alone.

In this episode, Jane tackles the most common questions ADHD mums ask about medication for kids. From appetite loss and 3PM crashes to puberty shifts and masking, we break down what’s really happening, why it feels so complex, and what meds can (and can’t) do.

What We Cover in This Episode

• Why ADHD meds can feel amazing at first — then glitch later
• The science behind appetite loss, afternoon crashes, and big emotions
• Puberty, growth, and co-occurring conditions that change how meds land
• Masking at school vs meltdowns at home — and why it matters
• Why parenting burnout and school systems can’t be “fixed” by medication
• Reframing meds: support, not a cure

This Episode Is For You If…

• Your child’s ADHD meds felt like a miracle but “stopped working”
• You’re confused by side effects like loss of appetite or late-day crashes
• You’ve blamed yourself for meds not doing enough
• You’re parenting through ADHD plus anxiety, autism, or sensory overload
• You need validation that you’re not failing — you’re navigating complexity

✨ Listen now: ADHD Meds & Kids — Your FAQ Answered on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or adhdmums.com.au — because parenting ADHD with meds is hard enough without shame on top.

Visit Dr Tommy Tran's website at https://www.drtommytran.com.au/

JOIN THE COMMUNITY:

Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format!

FOLLOW FOR MORE:

Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube

LEAVE A REVIEW:

Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together.

COLLABS:

For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at jane@adhdmums.com.au.

MORE RESOURCES:

Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here.

Mentioned in this episode:

💛 ADHD MUMS PROGRAM LINK 💛 The Festive F*ck-It Plan — The ADHD Mum’s Xmas Four short audios. One simple workbook. Zero guilt. Plan Christmas your way — calm, doable, and actually includes you in it. 👉 (https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/768431/169103366851396775/share)

Sign Up Link

For ADHD mums, school pickup isn’t chit chat — it’s performance. The smiles, the nods, the weather talk. On the outside you look friendly. On the inside, you’re collapsing.

In this Quick Reset, Jane unpacks why masking at the school gate feels so exhausting, how it impacts ADHD and autistic mums, and why it’s not about being unfriendly — it’s about survival.

• Why everyday small talk at school pickup can lead to masking, exhaustion, and car park tears.
• How chronic masking in social situations (play dates, birthday parties, pickup and drop off) leads to burnout and mental health struggles.
• Research on the Double Empathy Gap by Damian Milton, and why neurodivergent communication breakdowns are misunderstood.
• Jane’s ADHD Mum School Pickup Guide — practical insights for getting through without faking it.

• You’ve ever left school pickup early because you couldn’t fake one more smile.
• You collapse in the car after masking your way through birthday parties or play dates.
• You’ve been judged as rude, antisocial, or unfriendly — when you were just maxed out.
• You want to feel less alone in the invisible cost of social masking as an ADHD mum.

• Research on the Double Empathy Gap by Damian Milton.
• ADHD Mum School Pickup Guide.

🎧 Listen now: Spotify | Apple | adhdmums.com.au

JOIN THE COMMUNITY:

Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format!

FOLLOW FOR MORE:

Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube

LEAVE A REVIEW:

Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together.

COLLABS:

For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at jane@adhdmums.com.au.

MORE RESOURCES:

Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here.

Mentioned in this episode:

🎁ADHD MUMS PROGRAM LINK🎄

Four short audios. One simple workbook. Plan Christmas your way — calm, doable, and actually includes you in it. 👉 www.adhdmums.com.au/plan

Xmas: Sign Up Link

💊 They’ll sell you $60 gummies and promise calm — while your child is still wide awake at midnight.

If you’ve ever handed over cash for gummies that didn’t work — you’re not the only one.

In this episode, Jane sits down with clinical nutritionist Brittany Darling to unpack the minefield of supplements for ADHD and neurodivergent kids. From magnesium gummies to iron deficiency, we break down what’s legit, what’s hype, and how mums can avoid wasting money on sugar pills in shiny jars.

Supplements aren’t magic. But with the right testing, the right dose, and support from a qualified professional, they can make a real difference.

• Why supplements labelled “for ADHD kids” are a red flag in Australia
• The hidden risks of cheap gummies and adult formulas marketed for children
• Iron deficiency, magnesium, and saffron — what the research actually shows
• How to spot unqualified “nutrition experts” and what credentials matter
• Why supermarket supplements often don’t contain therapeutic doses
• When to consider a “supplement holiday” and reset

• You’ve ever bought gummies online and wondered if they actually work
• You’re tired of wasting money on supplements with no visible benefit
• You want to know which nutrients matter most for ADHD and ND kids
• You’ve felt guilty for “not doing enough” when supplements don’t fix behaviour
• You need clear, practical advice from someone who works with ND families

• Clinical Nutritionist Brittany Darling → @wholefoodhealing
• Brittany’s supplement line: www.imnutrients.com
• TGA (Therapeutic Goods Administration) — guidelines on supplements
• Research on saffron and ADHD symptoms

✨ Listen now: “Supplements for ND Kids: Calm Minds, Chaos Days, and What Actually Helps” — available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and adhdmums.com.au — because mums deserve real answers, not expensive guesswork.

JOIN THE COMMUNITY:

Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format!

FOLLOW FOR MORE:

Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube

LEAVE A REVIEW:

Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together.

COLLABS:

For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at jane@adhdmums.com.au.

MORE RESOURCES:

Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here.

Mentioned in this episode:

🎁ADHD MUMS PROGRAM LINK🎄

Four short audios. One simple workbook. Plan Christmas your way — calm, doable, and actually...

🛁 Self-care feels nice… but self-regulation keeps you alive.

Ever wondered why you feel calm after a walk but snap six minutes later? You’re not failing — that’s the difference between self-care and regulation.

In this Quick Reset, Jane unpacks the crucial difference between bubble baths and nervous system regulation. Self-care soothes. Self-regulation catches you mid-climb and stops the burnout spiral.

ADHD mums don’t need more scented candles. We need practical tools to notice when we’re about to tip over. This episode helps you understand what regulation looks like in real life, why self-care can feel like failure, and how to use both without guilt.

• Why self-care feels good in the moment but doesn’t stop meltdowns
• The difference between self-care (external) and self-regulation (internal)
• Signs you’re climbing toward dysregulation — and how to catch it
• Fire extinguisher vs. scented candle: why regulation saves you mid-meltdown
• How guilt and shame creep in when self-care “doesn’t work”
• Realistic regulation strategies for ADHD mums with zero spare time

• You’ve ever felt calm after yoga, then yelled in the car 10 minutes later
• You blame yourself when “self-care” doesn’t stop the rage
• You’re tired of influencer tips that don’t work in real ADHD mum life
• You want small, practical strategies to regulate your nervous system
• You need solidarity: proof you’re not failing, you’re just human

Related Episode:

S3E22: QUICK RESET: Why self-care feels like another f*****g task | Spotify | Apple Podcast

✨ Listen now: “QUICK RESET: Self-Care Feels Nice. Self-Regulation Keeps You Alive” — available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and adhdmums.com.au — because calm isn’t failure, it just isn’t regulation.

JOIN THE COMMUNITY:

Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format!

FOLLOW FOR MORE:

Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube

LEAVE A REVIEW:

Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together.

COLLABS:

For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at jane@adhdmums.com.au.

MORE RESOURCES:

Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here.

Mentioned in this episode:

🎁ADHD MUMS PROGRAM LINK🎄

Four short audios. One simple workbook. Plan Christmas your way — calm, doable, and actually includes you in it. 👉 www.adhdmums.com.au/plan

⚠️ Content Warning: This episode discusses hormonal rage, burnout, and emotional overload that may feel intense for some listeners.

Some days I don’t recognise myself.

The rage hits first — then the guilt follows. 💔

If you’ve ever cried over crumbs or felt calm slip away for no reason, this episode will make you feel seen.

Because what looks like “losing control” is often ADHD, hormones, and burnout colliding.

Jane sits down with Dr Sunita Chelva from Hero Menopause to unpack why perimenopause can feel like puberty all over again, how hormones intensify ADHD symptoms, and what you can do to find steadier ground when everything feels too loud, too fast, and too much.

• Why hormone fluctuations during perimenopause can trigger ADHD-like rage and emotional sensitivity
• How estrogen and progesterone shifts impact focus, calm, and tolerance
• The connection between histamine, mast-cell activation, and hormonal mood swings
• What to know about HRT, supplements, and antihistamines — and how to talk to your GP about them
• The overlap between trauma, neurodivergence, and hormonal chaos
• Practical tools for ADHD mums: sleep, movement, boundaries, and self-compassion

• You’ve ever thought, “I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
• You’re juggling ADHD, hormones, and motherhood — and you’re exhausted
• “Just breathe” advice makes you ragey instead of relaxed
• You want practical, ADHD-friendly ways to steady your nervous system

• Hero Menopause — Dr Sunita Chelva
• Instagram: @drsunitachelva @heramenopause
• Facebook: @Heramenopause and Women’s Health
• LinkedIn: @DrSunitaChelva and @Heramenopause
• Apps: Flo App, Balance App, Flo Partner App
• Supplements Discussed: Magnesium, Vitamin D, DIM (cruciferous extract), Activated B vitamins (methylation support)
• Antihistamines Mentioned: Telfast, Claritin, Zyrtec, Famotidine (Zantac) — always consult your GP before use
• Therapies Referenced: EMDR, breathwork, weight training, sleep hygiene

• HORMONES: Histamine + Hormones – Why You Feel Like You’re Falling Apart with Kylie Smart

🎂 The birthday invite never came — and the heartbreak broke us both. Because when your kid is excluded, you carry that wound too.

In this raw confession, Jane shares the reality of parenting a child who’s left out. From the quiet “Mum, what’s wrong with me?” to the fury of watching friendships collapse despite scaffolding, this episode validates the pain of social exclusion for ADHD and autistic kids — and the mums who love them.

Research shows exclusion isn’t resilience-building. It’s trauma. The brain registers it as real pain, and for neurodivergent kids, it happens far too often .

• The gut-punch moment when a child realises they weren’t invited
• Why “kids toughening up” isn’t resilience — it’s trauma
• How hidden friendship rules and conditional inclusion leave ADHD/autistic kids on the edge
• The impact of social exclusion on children’s confidence, self-esteem, and nervous system
• Why mums feel grief, rage, and helplessness when scaffolding still fails
• Practical ways to validate kids, script social supports, and work with schools for inclusion

• Your child has come home asking “Why don’t they like me?”
• You’ve hosted playdates, scaffolded friendships, and still watched your child get left out
• You’ve been told “that’s just life” and felt unseen or dismissed
• You want language and strategies to support a child who’s socially excluded
• You need solidarity: proof you’re not alone in this heartbreak

• 📑 Research: Social exclusion activates the same brain regions as physical pain
• 📘 Playground Pickup Guide for ADHD Mums
• 🎧 Related Episode: Raising Strong Children: How to Support Without Always Solving Their Problems with Emma Rose — Spotify | Apple Podcasts

✨ Listen now: “CONFESSION: My Kid Didn’t Get Invited — And It Broke Both Our Hearts” — available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and adhdmums.com.au — because no ADHD mum should be left to carry this heartbreak in silence.

JOIN THE COMMUNITY:

Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format!

FOLLOW FOR MORE:

Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube

LEAVE A REVIEW:

Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together.

COLLABS:

For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at...

⚠️ Content warning: This episode contains a brief discussion of suicidal ideation at 17mins.

🚛 You survived pregnancy. You survived newborn chaos. You survived years of exhaustion.

Then perimenopause hit — and it felt like your ADHD exploded overnight.

If perimenopause has made your ADHD feel impossible — you’re not broken, and you’re definitely not the only one.

In this raw and relatable episode, Jane sits down with Dr. Sunita Chelva (Hero Menopause & Women’s Health) to unpack what happens when fluctuating hormones collide with ADHD brains. From brain fog and rage to misdiagnosis and burnout, this conversation shines a light on what women are really experiencing — and why it’s not “just Mum life.”

• How estrogen and progesterone shifts in perimenopause impact dopamine and ADHD symptoms
• Why burnout, brain fog, rage, and emotional reactivity spike in the late 30s–50s
• The overlap between ADHD and PMDD — and why up to 70% of ADHD women are affected
• Why women are often offered antidepressants instead of hormone support
• How masking, multitasking, and guilt fuel emotional depletion
• Red flags when seeking help — and why you may need second or third opinions
• Practical steps: symptom tracking, seeking hormone-aware providers, and building support

• You feel like your ADHD has worsened in perimenopause
• You’ve experienced brain fog, rage, exhaustion, or guilt that doesn’t feel like “just Mum life”
• You’ve been told to try antidepressants but suspect hormones are playing a role
• You want to understand why PMDD and perimenopause hit ADHD women so hard
• You need validation, language, and next steps to advocate for yourself

• Dr. Sunita Chalva — Hera Menopause & Women’s Health
• Hero Menopause Symptom Scorer - https://www.heramenopause.com.au/herasymptomscore
• Australasian Menopause Society — symptom tracking tools
• ADHD Mums Recommended Provider Tool — find GPs & specialists who understand ADHD + hormones
• Suggest your own Women’s Health Provider if you have had a good experience. https://form.jotform.com/242630327577863

• 🎧 The Perimenopause Crash — Progesterone, Stress, and the Rage Nobody Warned Us About
• 🎧 HRT, ADHD & Perimenopause: What No One’s Explaining to Women
• 🎧 Histamine + Hormones — Why You Feel Like You’re Falling Apart

✨ Listen now: HORMONES: When Hormones Hijack the Mind — ADHD, Perimenopause & Emotional Burnout — available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and adhdmums.com.au — because hormones may hijack your brain, but they...