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  • Setting Boundaries

  • By: Rebecca Ray
  • Narrated by: Rebecca Ray
  • Length: 8 hrs and 29 mins
  • 4.6 out of 5 stars (67 ratings)

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Setting Boundaries

By: Rebecca Ray
Narrated by: Rebecca Ray
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Publisher's Summary

Setting Boundaries is not just about saying 'no'.

It is about pursuing the things that set our soul on fire, loving deeply without losing ourselves, and better resisting the demands and expectations of others.

Dr Rebecca Ray, Australian clinical psychologist and author, shows how boundaries are the key to many of the emotional and practical difficulties we encounter in daily life.

Many of us, raised to be people-pleasers, find ourselves giving in to draining colleagues, friends, partners and relatives.

In Setting Boundaries, Dr Ray shares science-based advice and tools to help you:

  • identify your boundaries and when they have been crossed
  • recognise the patterns and habits that have failed to support you to feel empowered
  • engage in difficult conversations from a place of strength and self-kindness
  • set clear, intentional boundaries and become your most loving, fulfilled and authentic self.

Accessible, inspiring and deeply practical, Setting Boundaries ignites us to rethink our relationships, reclaim our lives and protect our mental health and wellbeing.

©2021 Rebecca Ray (P)2021 Macmillan Audio

Critic Reviews

'Within the first two pages I found myself exclaiming, She's so brilliant. That's exactly how it is! - Dr Libby Weaver

'Yet another valuable contribution from Dr Rebecca Ray and one I can genuinely and sincerely recommend.' - Dr Tim Sharp

'I will return to this book over and over again when I'm feeling lost and need a comforting voice of support.' - Alison Daddo

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Re-writing my boundaries from my Inner Leader

I read this book because it changed the life of someone I deeply respect. I personally didn’t think I would get much out of this book, due to already having a robust understanding and implementation of healthy boundaries and communication skills.

However, one really incredible sentence stood out to me, and that was, “If you’re offended by my boundaries, then you are probably one of the reasons why I need them”. I never considered the different archetypes, from which boundaries are created. It was really quite fascinating to discover my primary archetype is Guardian. Made me think some of the healthy and unhealthy scripts I have put in place, that inspired my own boundaries to be created and become calcified over the years. It made me question the truth behind each boundary, and whether if it’s worth clinging to them. Would clinging to boundaries, not made by my Inner Leader, help me move toward the life direction that I want to go?

Ray dives into values as well, with some really thought provoking questions that are rapid fired at the reader, one after the other. There almost needs to be an accompanying workbook be able to properly process and identify which archetype governs which areas of your life. I was joyfully surprised at the case study responses Ray gave to family and friend situations, around giving and expectation, and articulated some of the most concise responses to those events I have ever read. It really gave me something practical to work with.

This is a book anyone and everyone can learn from, but is probably more suited to someone finding themselves and reasserting their boundaries if they feel lost in their identity, and need clarity. It will naturally awaken your Inner Leader if you are open to it.

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Thanks for changing my life

Loved listening to Setting Boundaries, you have changed my world 🌎 in all the right ways,

I use the tools in my work place, with my teen daughter, friends and with my partner... my teen daughter is the hardest to set boundaries with where as I thought it would have been the easiest person to set boundaries with lol 😆 mostly because she knows my weak spots more then any one else and knows when I buckle but I am getting there with her it's more healthier for her well being and mine if I parent her then oppose to give her what she wants

Learning so much about myself and I actually love me, myself for who I truly am and I now recognise my worth and I am more likely to stand up for me
Thanks inner Leader you have my back

Thank You souch for writing this book 📖 ❤

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A must read for all adults.

This book clearly states how you can create and maintain boundaries. Dr Ray makes it clear how this can help maintain healthy relationships. This book is also based on psychology which is great for those who do not want faith based help.

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great book

covers so much ground in steady and complete way. really well read. really great book. nothing to fault

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  • Liz
  • 15-01-2022

Brilliant - got so much out of it

This book is especially relevant for those who struggle to be assertive or have observed red flags in relationships and need support as to what to do about them. A must read for those in fractured relationships.

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So Much Valuable Information In This!

A very valuable book. I'm going to listen to this again and take notes. There was so much information related to boundaries like the different types of communication and the different ways people can have coercive control over you. I recommend everyone read this!

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  • Liz
  • 29-12-2022

Refreshing and Relevant

Dr Ray has brought so much clarity and smiles 🙏🥰 I found her style eminently relateable.

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Thank you

A very helpful resource with practical suggestions and examples with a reassuring calm voice.

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Helpful and well articulated, sadly too fast

Thank you! This is a fantastic piece of work I’ll read again - read, so I can better access the questions and exercises mentioned. The narration was too fast for me at times, there were almost no pauses and some editing mistakes (though those aren’t a big deal). I think it would be a great idea to provide a PDF with the exercises/boosters alongside the audio book. Apologies if that exists and I couldn’t find it :)

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Great Resource Which I Needed!

Than you Dr Ray for this book! Your warmth & words made it a friendly but realistic read on a challenging topic. I had to buy the physical book too as it will help me incorporate what I need in my personal boundary 'making & keeping

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