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Unmentionable Audiobook

Unmentionable: The Victorian Lady's Guide to Sex, Marriage, and Manners

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Publisher's Summary

Have you ever wished you could live in an earlier, more romantic era?

Ladies, welcome to the 19th century, where there's arsenic in your face cream, a pot of cold pee sits under your bed, and all of your underwear is crotchless. (Why? Shush, dear. A lady doesn't question.)

Unmentionable is your hilarious, scandalously honest (yet never crass) guide to the secrets of Victorian womanhood, giving you detailed advice on:

  • What to wear
  • Where to relieve yourself
  • How to conceal your loathsome addiction to menstruating
  • What to expect on your wedding night
  • How to be the perfect Victorian wife
  • Why masturbating will kill you
  • And more

Irresistibly charming, laugh-out-loud funny, Unmentionable will inspire a whole new level of respect for Elizabeth Bennett, Scarlett O'Hara, Jane Eyre, and all of our great-great-grandmothers.

(And it just might leave you feeling ecstatically grateful to live in an age of pants, superabsorbency tampons, epidurals, antidepressants, and not dying of the syphilis your husband brought home.)

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your My Library section along with the audio.

©2016 Therese Oneill (P)2016 Hachette Audio

What the Critics Say

"A down-and-dirty perusal of the realities of hygiene and womanhood in the Victorian era. The truth behind slimming corsets, virtuous nuptials, and strict morals is sometimes shocking, occasionally alarming, but always funny with Oneill's wry commentary." (Library Journal)

"Flat-out hysterical (and occasionally alarming).... Read it and be very, very glad you're a woman of modern times." (Good Housekeeping)

"Oneill uncovers the filthy, untidy, licentious conditions of 19th-century women's lives that novelists of the period often glossed over." (Elle)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

3.9 (9 )
5 star
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4 star
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3 star
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3.9 (7 )
5 star
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4.4 (8 )
5 star
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Performance
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  •  
    Amazon Customer 12/07/2017 Member Since 2017
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    1
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "A fabulously entertaining look on history"

    This book was not only immensely enjoyable and humorous, but provided an insight into the period of history which shaped us today. The conclusion brought to attention the importance of equality and freedom for women and how we must continue to appreciate how far we have come but also work towards achieving even more equality in our western world.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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  • T. Keefe
    Canada
    2/11/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Humorous, Fun and Educational"

    I very much enjoyed how this book took the tone of speaking directly to a modern woman, instead of simply pumping out a multitude of facts.
    It is rare to learn and be entertained - this book accomplishes both, without talking down to you.

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  • echan003
    19/04/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Interesting and funny but, at times, repetitive"

    I enjoyed the book and can understand the choice for the narrator's tone but it became repetitive listening to her snippy comments. The point I most enjoyed was when she seemed to slip out of the Victorian character to express her disgust at one of the time's leading 'scientists'.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Tammico Cubie
    10/12/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Every woman should have this book!!"

    The story and narration were both amazing. I want to have every book by her.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Adam
    25/06/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Ladies, it's worth it!"

    The delivery was outstanding. I found the book interesting - unlike anything else I've even considered.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Evangeline Anderson
    Fl, USA
    8/06/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "A funny and not so funny look at the past"

    For those wishing to go back in time to the romantic past this book has some hard--and hilarious truths for you. You are guided on a tour of the Victorian era with all of the ridiculously complicated social norms and incredibly elaborate clothing included. My main take away from this was that I'm awfully glad I live now instead of then. This book is more than just funny – it's thought provoking, especially at the end when you realize how far we've come as women. highly recommended!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Buck Pardee
    25/04/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "so fun !"

    Very funny & inlightinig. The reader was great too. I would highly recommend this book to anyone.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Goat Mama
    Arkansas
    27/01/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "time travelers guide to NEVER go to this time zon"

    loved this book, very entertaining and interesting. pretty glad I wasn't born then!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Kendall
    Denver, CO
    6/01/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "pleasantly surprised historical fun"

    Was worried how this could be written, what would be covered etc since I do study the era but it was just so cute I have it a try & glad I did. The author's tone is charming & witty making it a joy to hear her present information I knew & be delighted buy little surprises I didn't putt appreciate her comments. Just delightful.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Brianna
    6/12/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Entertaining and informative"

    A well-researched exploration of women's life and health in the Victorian era that definitively de-romanticizes the time period. Topics covered included dress, marriage, masturbation, and menstruation, among others. The witty quips from the author to the reader, however, did become somewhat annoying - at some point I was more interested in the subject than the author's snarky commentary. Overall, would recommend this funny and informative read.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Diamonddust
    5/12/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Fun read for victorian genre lovers"

    Entertaining and interesting. The same tone continues to the end, which to some, may annoy. Hear the sample before purchasing. Alot of information & period language makes you dependant on author's interpretation.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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  • Tink
    3/08/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "hilariously entertaining"

    loved this, had me hooked from the start. wonderfully read, scarily grateful to be modern.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Mrs B
    31/07/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Sorry just too American kitsch"

    This could have been an excellent view into the personal world of the Victorian woman and it is a very interesting era and the subject matter not really visited before, BUT oh dear, it's written like the author is a stand up comedian and not a very funny one. In addition the narrator has the most infuriating intonation!! Agggh!!! She sing songs her way along the subject matter and frankly condescends to the listener. It was like listening to a cat being strangled and I had to stop listening before I threw my phone at the wall. What a shame, as a woman I was finding the content fascinating but it was written and narrated in far too an American kitsch way.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • R. woods
    5/07/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Charming"

    Utterly fascinating, Read with humour and wit and written in a delightfully original format, this will go on my list as one of my favourite audio books of all time.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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