Showing results by narrator "Huw Parmenter" in All Categories

When 3 Para began their assault under cover of darkness on Mount Longdon in June 1982, nobody knew what to expect. The three platoons of B Company each approached the mountain silently, treading carefully through a series of defensive minefields. But following an explosion, fighting quickly escalated with shocking speed and severity, resulting in some of the bloodiest close hand fighting, terrible injuries and shocking loss of life experienced by British troops since the Korean war.

Everyone at Barry’s school has gone football crazy, but Barry gets thrown out of the team (the Mogden Maniacs) for being completeerly rubbish. Then it turns out that his best friend, Bunky, is a super striker—so Barry becomes his manager. The cup final match is approaching, and Bunky’s getting carried away with his football fame—can Barry keep his head in the game?

There’s a new Loser in town, and Barry’s not happy about it. The only thing that’s keeping him going is a superkeel new drink from Feeko’s Supermarket. But then disaster strikes, and Barry has to turn detective to solve the mystery of the century: the case of the crumpled carton!

There’s a girl in Barry’s class who’s getting more laughs than him! But luckily, Barry immediately thinks up one of his brilliant and amazekeel plans to make sure he’ll have the final chuckle. All he needs is 30 boxes of Beard Flakes.

Barry’s mum has become a bit of celebrity, and now he can’t go anywhere without seeing a poster of her eating a chocolate digestive or wiggling her bum in a pair of jeans. It’s so annoy-embarrassing, and everyone at school is making fun of him. But you can’t keep Barry down for long.... With the help of his napkin collection, new girl Nancy Verkenwerken and a snail called Snailypoos, Barry is determined to prove once and for all that he is not a loser.

I've never minded that my name's Barry Loser because my coolness has always cancelled it out, but ever since Darren Darrenofski joined school with his horrible little crocodile face, he's been completely ruining my life about it.

It’s only a few days into the half-term holidays, and Barry's dad has already had enough of him! He’s packing Barry off to Pirate Camp, the same one he used to be sent to every year. Barry’s not impressed—he’s not a baby anymore, so why should he have to go to a camp for kiddywinkles? But horrible things are afoot at Pirate Camp—it’s been taken over by the villainous Morag, and now its future’s in doubt. There’s only one thing to do: Barry and his new friends Sally Bottom and Renard Dupont have to uncover the hidden treasure of Mogden Island....

Barry's class are off on a school trip to see a history of television exhibition, which Barry knows will be comperleeterly rubbish. But then he discovers that Future Ratboy (super-keel superhero TV show) is filmed in the same TV studios! All he has to do is find a way to sneak away and find the set.... Will Barry come up with an amazekeel plan? Will he get to audition for Future Ratboy? Will they get the best seats on the coach?

It’s Barry’s birthday and his mum and dad have bought him the amazekeel new gaming helmet he wanted—the Shnozinator 9000! It’s the best birthday present ever...until his baby brother breaks it and ruins everything. But Barry has a plan: he’ll just have to become a billionaire inventor and make enough money to buy another one, before his life is comperleeterly over.

You know when someone's horrible to you in a dream and you wake up really annoyed with them? That’s what happened to me with my best friend Bunky. Barry has a new problem: Gordon Smugly—who’s got the most perfect name for himself ever in the history of having a name, because he looks like a Gordon and is smug and ugly—has stolen Barry’s best friend. Join Barry as he attempts to get Bunky back, organises a girly-scream voice test and tries to avoid seeing his teacher kissing his gran.

Barry can’t wait to tell his friends that they’ve been invited on his family caravan holiday to Plonkton. But the weekend by the sea doesn’t turn out to be the keelfest Barry was hoping for. It’s all his best mate Bunky’s fault for going and falling in love. Oh. My. Unkeelness!

As far back as Barry can remember, he’s always wanted a sausage dog. They’re like two of his favourite things (sausages and dogs) squidged together! Who cares if they bark the whole time, do poos everywhere, need three walks every day and stop you going to the cinema with your friends? Not Barry. Until he actukeely gets a real-life sausage dog, that is.

Cymbeline Igloo is bored. Bored of home learning, bored of lockdown, bored of not being able to do anything. And to make things even worse, his mum accidentally gave away his favourite football shirt. But then Mrs Stebbings, the beloved school cook, is taken into hospital, and suddenly coronavirus seems much closer to home. When Cym starts a project all about Mrs Stebbings’ childhood in World War II, he can’t know that it’s the beginning of something incredible and even dangerous.

Here’s something you won’t believe: someone is doing TERRIBLE things to Mrs Martin, Cymbeline Igloo’s favourite teacher of all time. Cymbeline has to find the culprit (after he’s learned what ‘culprit’ means). He’s also got to help his friend Veronique, whose grandma is dangerously ill. It seems Nanai has a secret, connected to her arrival in the UK as a Boat Person from Vietnam, a traumatic journey in which she lost her twin sister.

Cymbeline Igloo (yes, really!) has never been swimming. Not ever. Not once. But how hard can it be? He’s Googled front crawl, and he’s found his dad’s old pair of trunks. He’s totally ready. What he’s not ready for is the accident at the pool - or how it leads his mum to a sudden breakdown.