Showing results by author "EM Kaplan" in All Categories

Sometimes, there are stories about other people. But if you read between the lines, you'll find that most stories are about me: Brandon Thighmaster. And why wouldn't they be? You can have your tales of daring-do and double-crossing rogues, sure, but that's kind of the story bread, you know? Useless carbs. You want to get to the meat of the story, that's where the rich protein is.

Josie Tucker is in a pickle. She's a rising food critic in the blogosphere, but she can't eat. Her testy stomach is always in knots - is it anxiety, a food allergy, or something else? With a Boston blueblood matron funding her adventures, and a trio of loyal friends, Josie finds herself in scrape after bizarre scrape, barely escaping by the skin of her neck.

Ivan Sorokin is missing. Who wants him out of the picture - his wife, his business partner, or the stripper who holds his heart? Josie Tucker stands on Beach Street with her back to the San Francisco wharf. Above her, the Ghirardelli sign winks in the dusky twilight, seducing her. The ice cream parlor lights beckon like a lactose lothario, a casein casanova, trying hard to woo her. But her heart longs for dumplings, for dim sum.

Just days after Josie is the last-minute bridesmaid at a massive Boston Brahmin wedding, the lovely bride dies on her honeymoon at an exclusive Arizona resort. The mother of the bride thinks Josie, with her... unique people skills, can find out what really happened. Josie discovers the dead bride may not have been the first dead girl. And to Josie's horror, the killer has set his sights on her next.

Ella never leaves work early. She loves her copy of Strunk & White. She buttons her shirt up to the top. She buys beige furniture. She pays her bills on time and always says hello to her neighbors. If she were a superhero, her alter-ego would be SuperPoliteGirl. She doesn’t have any vices—as long as swearing in Italian doesn’t count.

Silent But Deadly Hill: Jonathon Mason is going on a road trip with his dad. When their car veers out of control, Jonathon awakes alone in a cloud of fog. Can he find his drunk dad and escape Slewant Hill? G.I.R.L 2: Rob(erta) Hardlick and her sidekick Mich find themselves locked within a video game universe. To make matters worse, they may not be the only survivors from the last game to have made it over to this new one. Secret of the Old Cock: When mysterious Jebediah Crotchley hires Mimsy Crew to do work around his mansion, Mimsy is in for a grand adventure.

In the Red Desert, a fierce battle rages against the king of trogs, threatening the lives of Mel, her friends, and thousands of refugees from the north. Can they survive the relentless trog attacks and escape looming starvation? Marget, a former house maid, has reached the limit of her patience. She and her two companions, Charl and Jaine, have come into an extraordinary power. Together, they can create a towering elemental made of fire and water - but only if they learn to get along and to control their talents.

Two more snarky Josie Tucker mysteries! Dead Man on Campus (book three): A mysterious letter-writer causes havoc on the idyllic Bader University campus. After a professor receives numerous poison pen letters, more and more threatening in nature, Josie Tucker is on the case...grudgingly. Full Slab Dead (book four): When snarky food critic, Josie Tucker, heads to Austin, Texas, to wax philosophical about the local barbecue joints, she stumbles on to a decades' old missing person case.

When snarky food critic, Josie Tucker, heads to Austin, Texas, to wax philosophical about the local barbecue joints, she stumbles on to a decades' old missing person case. With the help of a local reporter, a Goth ghost hunter, and a bunco-playing transvestite, she tries to unravel the heart-tugging, hidden history before the whole place goes up in smoke.

No more broken promises. After fleeing Cillary Keep and fighting trogs in the frozen north, Mel and Ott travel south to the Red Desert to help reunite two sisters. Rav promised to return to her younger sister, Zunee, who has been left in charge of their family. Trogs, fires, sinkholes, and landslides - do the very elements conspire to keep the sisters apart?

Mel can sense the blood beating through her companions' veins. She can count the moments between heartbeats to tell who is sincere and who is lying. She can make herself stronger for short periods of time, heal small wounds on her body, and manipulate light to change her appearance subtly. These abilities are useful skills for a Mask - a preternaturally sensitive, cloaked and imposing, impartial arbitrator, both revered and feared by everyone.

"Stranger's Thing" by Robert Bevan: Four friends get more than they bargained for when they break into a seemingly abandoned research lab. "The Shingling" by Steve Wetherell: Johnny Terry, a recovering meth addict, is excited to start his new life as the caretaker at the Underpass Motel. Unfortunately, the Underpass is haunted by the ghosts of dead porn stars. "The Haunting of Whore House" by Robert Bevan: Lucy and her brother, Junkie, find out that moving was only the beginning of their troubles when they encounter the ghost of a little boy in the woods. Plus three more!