Showing results by publisher "-emdashery books-" in Humorous

If you're an alien traveler seeking adventure (or just stranded by a malfunctioning space cruiser), this is your ultimate guide to surviving Earth with your dignity mostly intact. Written with wit, sarcasm, and mild concern for your safety, A Guide to the Planet Earth for Aliens is perfect for fans of Douglas Adams, The Martian, and anyone who’s ever felt like Earth might be trying to kill them… but still wants to visit again.

Gormon Hughes has elevated himself. Twenty-odd years ago, he was a desperate young man, broken-hearted and in danger of being literally eaten alive by debt collectors. Ten years ago, he helped untangle the mystery of the Spring-Heeled Jane murders. Now he is the President-Elect of his home country. He has a daughter. He has a multi-world-spanning conflict on his hands.

This wasn't like Adam Cain—AKA: The Human for Hire. He wasn't supposed to be compassionate and caring. But for some reason, he'd taken the former Third-Generation Human John Martinez under his wing and was now determined to show him what the real Human race was all about. As a 3G, Martinez had been raised by the Klin to believe a completely false narrative about his native race. But having never been to Earth—and after only a few tragic encounters with other Humans—what was Martinez to believe?

Comedian Olga Koch has a masters degree in the social science of the Internet and can turn almost any file into a PDF. In these three series, she looks at life through the eyes of a computer scientist, taking the universal truths you hold dear and tearing them to shreds using logic. With the help of her sassy digital assistant ALGO (played by Sindhu Vee and Tia Kofi), she uses stand-up and storytelling to unpack concepts such as Nationality, Beauty, Health, Privacy, Fun, Intelligence, Friendship and Family.

Do you fit in? Me neither. I wrote these stories for weirdos like you and me. A messed up kid keeps a mightily upset alien prisoner in his barn. Carnage ensues. A hunter pairs up with a mysterious girl to track down a terrifying humanoid predator. Carnage ensues. Aliens commandeer the body of the wrong Taylor Swift. Carnage ensues. A marshmallow toasting fork turns out to be a sacred relic of an alien empire. Carnage ensues. You get the idea. One of these short stories isn’t very short, but I included it anyway.

Barry and Lich are two high school outcasts living as much of a life as they can in the small town of Grafting, Michigan, circa 1995. Life ain’t great, but it ain’t too bad either. That is, until the Grafting quake hits and a strange man heading a secretive organization shows up with an army of brilliant minds, highly trained mercenaries, and a monster that’s crawled straight from the realm of nightmares. As it turns out, reality is starting to tear, and things from another dimension are starting to pop up—things with really bad intentions.

“I know Artificial Intelligence has fewer calories, but it just doesn’t taste as good.” The Zoomarble Madcap Space Adventure Series concludes with Book 3, Scrapes the Nadir. Ride along on missions through odd new worlds packed with action, bad people, massive weaponry, monkey creatures, quantum security, medieval food trucks, robots, wizards, robot wizards, fat fascists, cranky waiters, and dragocorns. Get immersed in deep concepts that are science adjacent, further blurring the lines between technology and magic. Join the gang as they try their best not to get distracted.

Strak is a run-of-the-mill Orcus Empire recruit whose days are filled with following orders, patrolling corridors, and stamping papers. When he’s captured by the most-wanted space pirate in the galaxy, he assumes (quite logically) that the end is nigh. Instead, he finds himself…spearheading a birthday celebration for said space-pirate’s 12-year-old daughter?

First Runner Up, Science Fiction & Fantasy, 2024 Eric Hoffer Award & Grand Prize Shortlist Finalist! Aliens have hatched a rockstar. Brain extractions, falling body parts, and blood-vessel explosions are the norm. Alex’s dream job has turned into a nightmare. What should she do? It's the 1990s. Alex arrives at Acht Records, her improbable blonde hair streaked stress magenta and anger black. Her first duty is to wipe blood off her boss's walls. It goes downhill from there. Rock Gods & Messy Monsters is a humorous story about life inside a record company.

Beverly Cryer (Vurl) has to choose a dystopian faction to live with for the rest of her life. If she doesn't make it through initiation, she'll be factionless and declared a Detergent. But, Vurl is determined not to spend the rest of her life doing everyone else's laundry. She is an independent young woman with skills she doesn't even know about and with the help of handsome number Two she'll not only make it through initiation, she'll save the city from disaster.

In the year 2475, the remnants of humanity have taken to the skies, inhabiting massive domed cities that hover five miles over the ruined ecological disaster of old Earth. The Powers That Be, in their infinite wisdom, decided that the few million people left deserved to live their best lives, so they gave each sub-orbital platform its own theme and legally enforced tech level.

All The Human had to do was turn over his latest bounty to the local authorities and collect his fee. But when it turns out that no one in the galaxy wants to take possession of the criminal, Adam is left with no choice but to transport him a quarter of the way across the galaxy, from the renegade planet Sinalus to Unidor Security's headquarters on Tactori. The problem . . . it seems everybody and their brother are trying to stop him from completing his mission, both the good guys and the bad guys. What do they know that The Human doesn't?

At age 10, Jenni Farrow and her new best friend, Timmy Caruso, enjoy a glorious summer on Pearl Island filled with fireworks, beach days, and carnival rides (not to mention that strange sea creature they rescue from a tide pool). Then, one late summer day, Timmy disappears. Thirty years later, Jenni—now Jenn Lanaro, best-selling author of the Philipia Bay action-romance series—is desperate to escape the fatigue of her career and her soon-to-be-ex-husband.

The fighting may be over, but the war goes on. Quietly. Fighting doesn't always involve guns, and the upcoming elections for Imperial senate stress alliances that aren't up for much stress. Admiral, Dashi, Jose, Marianne and their allies continue maneuvering for advantage. Lying, cheating and stealing are legitimate political tactics. But when the unexpected happens just after the election, every faction is left deciding who they really are loyal to- the empire? Or themselves?

Adam Cain: Bounty Hunter, Mercenary, Bodyguard. In his line of work, Adam makes a lot of enemies. The problem: Enemies have long memories. And when someone comes after Adam seeking revenge for his past deeds, things get a little dicey. The problem for Adam's enemies: They're going up against The Human. And because of that, Adam has only one question for them: "Do you feel lucky? Well, do you, punk?" That's right. Adam isn't your ordinary target, and now it's a game of back and forth between the hunter and the hunted, with the roles changing in rapid-fire succession.

Fresh off her single-handed defense against alien adversaries in a galactic courtroom, Maxine Justice discovers that saving the Earth is not enough to earn a hero’s welcome back home. Once again broke and now looking for revenge, her return to night court as a public defender takes an immediate detour when she’s tasked with defending a Therapod murder suspect.

Earth’s been toast for five years—ever since the aliens showed up, killed half the population, and penned the rest like cattle. Master Sergeant Sol Winters leads a ragtag resistance team that’s barely clinging to relevance, when an alien ship crashes in his backyard carrying the princess of the empire and her grumpy bodyguard. She claims she’s here to make peace. Sol’s pretty sure she’s lying—but if she’s not, she might be humanity’s only shot at survival.

May’s career as an interstellar rocket racer is just ramping up. She’s got a stunning ship, her best friend Xan for a co-pilot, and a rocket-full of winnings. But obscenely good luck can’t last forever, and May has been racing in a stolen ship. When Xan’s arrested by a tea-sipping, goddess-possessed pink robot for a crime he can’t bring himself to explain without baking analogies, May’s career is over. With the help of an adventure biologist and her freshly un-dead girlfriend, May and Xan must find a way to change the past before the goddess of Chaos squashes everything May loves.

Sharks. In space. It's exactly what you think it is. What more do you want?

Witty, heartfelt, deeply weird, and utterly original, Mr. Yay explores how we grapple with inexplicable sudden shifts in the world around us, and the conspiracy theories and identity crises they birth. If the past we remember has changed, are we who we think we are? Is anyone?