Showing results by publisher "Podium Audio" in Humorous

With his peaceful life as a scholar far behind him and his ever-growing mountain of debt to the Department of Taxation hanging over him, Jonathan can't afford to play it safe. If he wants to get his castle back, he'll need to take a few risks. At least he's not facing danger alone. Whether it's his faithful butler, a former paladin, a shapeshifter who might have gotten stuck, a land-loving merman, a wandering werewolf, a huntress in disguise, or a raccoon who can remodel the landscape, Jonathan will have plenty of company as he runs (or is dragged) headlong into danger.

Are you being attacked by a pissed-off unicorn? Has an angry basilisk slithered into your camp? Is a dragon about to eat you? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this book is for you. Our world is full of monsters. Some of them are happy to live and let live, but the majority of them are vicious jerks. If you want to survive, then you need to know what to do when things go wrong. Don't settle for speculation or the ramblings of a tavern drunk. Get the facts about monsters straight from a legendary hero who has fought just about all of them.

Here's the thing about dating dragons: don't. Especially if you're me. My first dragon boyfriend, Zed? Gorgeous, charming... and responsible for the worst night of my teenage life. The ones who came after? All ghosted me when they found their fated mates. I learned my lesson: No more dragons. It never ends well. Fast-forward fifteen years, and guess who strolls back into my life? Zed—older, hotter, and still single. He only wants one date, but he's overdue to find his mate. I should walk away before he disappears a second time.

Phoebe, the soulless child, was raised by her adopted father, Eric—the universe-hopping vampire wizard from the future. Who better to raise a soulless infant than an undead monster? Now she's out on her own! Well, almost. She has her boyfriend, Rusty, the werewolf, trying to manage his anger issues, and her uncle, a divine entity with ego issues. So far, she's getting by, but there are issues of her own to deal with—not the least of which is a horde of feral vampires taking over the world!

Accidentally banished to an alternate reality by her own hand, weapon-heavy cyborg NSLICE-00P has had to adapt to her new environment in order to survive. But she's also evolved to thrive as less of a "kill everything" high-tech nightmare and more of a "try to be nice before killing everything" young lady capable of actual emotion, becoming the magic-wielding force for good known as Her Majesty Seero, queen of the Dobhar and true friend of the Empire. And the Empire needs a friend like her more than ever . . .

Busy with troubles of her own, Maud the village witch just wants to be left alone. Peace and quiet should be easy enough when you're dead, right? Wrong. Reborn as a powerful lich, Maud is suddenly faced with the attentions of all the righteous heroes, holy clerics, and nosy neighbors of the realm. Now, instead of whiling away the days in her garden with her cat and her knitting, Maud must figure out how much force is required to crush a man's spine, the proper storage solution to keep a spoiling cadaver, and how best to display the remains of the fallen for maximum scare.

Something is wrong with Tom Collins. More wrong than usual. Tom's being nice. I should have known trouble was right around the corner. One attempted murder later, and Reynard is forced to disarm Tom (literally). No bartender means no bar. Zee is grumpy and avoiding me, and the hotel's measly profits are dwindling by the day. Things are not going well. We need our broken, foul-mouthed Tom Collins back. But don't worry. Zee says saving Tom should be a walk in the park for us. Turns out that walk in the park is more like a road to hell. But I've got this.

This is a tale that used to be about dungeons... But these days it's more about learning how to properly dress a rabbit for a stew or trying to figure out if your new eight-stringed lute can actually replace a whole orchestra.

Not too long ago, the cyborg NSLICE-00P—Non-Standard Leashed-Intelligence Cybernetic Enforcer—was an unstoppable machine of war. But when a fateful murder caused her to be launched into a whole new reality, she slowly began to realize that she could be something more . . . if she wanted.

The time has come to pay Sawyer back for all of his support and hard work. For taking a chance on Sean when no one else would. For getting Sean the needed supplies for the war back when no one else was able to. Sawyer has always been in Sean's court and has gone above and beyond more than once. And let's not even mention the help he's provided to Mihalis and Troy!

He has the ability to modify any item he owns; to upgrade anything. Sounds great on paper. Almost like a video game. Except that the amount of power it takes to actually change, modify, or upgrade anything worthwhile is beyond his abilities. At least, that was until Felix leveraged a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to give himself a great deal of points. Investing in Super Heroes and Super Villains and owning them. Using them, Felix built up an empire: an organization by the name of Legion.

The Green Dungeon thrived. Despite the Council's attempt to destroy her, Jennifer Conners, a Blue World soul, remained a viable Dungeon Core in Green World. With the defeat of Werner Oswaldo, Jennifer had leveled up. Her human experience and Garden Core existence made for a unique outlook on dungeons. She filled her garden with Green World people and Blue World items. She built her floors, mobs, and traps with an exhilaration she'd never felt as a human.

Seventeen years after her rebirth into a magical medieval world, Everly Vae Balsar, the Empress, has made it. With her exceptionally potent earth magic and powers of spiritual manipulation, she stands poised to conquer a kingdom that lives in fear of her and her dangerous servants: Carter the goblin assassin, the marauding General Grail, and her elementals, the sadistic Eris and ditzy Titania. She's a villain and proud of it.

Contains books two and three of the Scales 'n' Spells series. Breath: Tori was doing great until sexy dragon Baldewin interfered. Between the little gifts, constant protection, and the steadfast confidence from the overgrown lizard, Tori wonders if maybe that last step needs revising. Wish: North has a map of Europe, a dragon scale, and a little bit of magic. He’s currently short a dragon, but all in good time, right? Right. Because he can totally dodge dangerous men and frustrated calls from his family, all while searching for a dragon during the Christmas season.

In the megacity of New Montreal, those with wealth and power live in towers high above the teeming masses struggling to get by day after day. When the poor and destitute vanish, the police can’t be bothered to spend time and resources investigating. But Franny, a nun who isn’t afraid to practice what her religion preaches, sets out to find the missing by confronting street gangs with nothing but a baseball bat . . . and a lot of pent-up frustration.

Life as a Magical Engineer has never been quite as I expected it would be, but the truth is, I wouldn't change it for the world. Sure, there have been a lot of obstacles. My apartment was blown up, I was kidnapped, my psycho cousin even tried to have me killed. And now, my parents are forcing me to marry someone they picked. However, I also met some pretty amazing people, helped AMIA dismantle the resistance, and even stopped a coup from happening. But most of all, I found love.

In an attempt to take down the resistance, I became their target. Now I have no MET, no home, and the entire world thinks I'm dead. Hidden, I need to find a way to flush out the mole who has wormed his way into AMIA. That's the only way I'll have my life and freedom back. If only things were so easy. To make things even more complicated, the Arcane heirs keep popping up left and right with their sexy good looks and hard abs. They're a distraction I should try to avoid, but can't quite resist.

The Witch of Calamity has awoken. Shadows and flame threaten the kingdom as an ancient curse stirs to life, promising ashes and ruin in its wake. Dark whispers and fretful glances haunt the night, where, amidst the rising smoke, is the silhouette of a young woman in scandalous attire. Fearful of...

Things are quiet in the megacity of New Montreal. Too quiet for Catherine Leblanc. Earth is safe, the extraterrestrial Antithesis are laying low, and there's only so much tweaking Cat can do to upgrade her mecha—especially without any enemies on the horizon. So to keep her from being bored to death, her girlfriend Lucy suggests she pick up some new skills by signing up for classes at CIAL University.

Did I always believe in magic? Not until today. Sure, I had seen my mother's ghost, but I'd managed to rationalize that. It wasn't until I was taken to some strange museum in Oregon and inducted into a supernatural agency that I truly believed. Then, something happened to the agency, and I was one of the last mages left in America. Now, I have to learn my peculiar magic all by myself. Well, not entirely by myself. I have a few beautiful women and a disgraced mage genius to help me figure out why my powers are so unique.