Are you being attacked by a pissed-off unicorn? Has an angry basilisk slithered into your camp? Is a dragon about to eat you? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this book is for you. Our world is full of monsters. Some of them are happy to live and let live, but the majority of them are vicious jerks. If you want to survive, then you need to know what to do when things go wrong. Don't settle for speculation or the ramblings of a tavern drunk. Get the facts about monsters straight from a legendary hero who has fought just about all of them.

Contains books one and two of the Attempted Vampirism series: Attempted Vampirism and Attempted Adventuring.

In the distant past, a time of magic and swordplay, there lived Harold, the mightiest lich of all, a master of arcane sciences, and a challenger of gods. After reaching the pinnacle of his power and finding it surprisingly bland, Harold waged a cataclysmic war against the gods, aiming to shatter the very system that confined him.

Timothy Walter Bolton - better known as Timmy - has spent most of his life as a necromancer. When he isn't terrorising his enemies, he's plotting inside his castle, which is built on top of lightless chasms filled with nameless horrors and beings of a generally malevolent and megalomaniacal nature. But after one of his latest creations, a zombie hydra-dragon-bear, tries to eat him, he decides that maybe it's time to find a new, less dangerous, career.

Pete is a simple man who enjoys a good drink amongst good friends. Not too much to ask, right? Now, he's trapped in a fantasy world far from home, stuck underground and inside the body of a smelly dwarf with fantastic facial hair. The worst part? The swill that the dwarves are falling all over themselves to drink. It's flat, it's watery, and it has the alcohol content of a rancid coconut. Can Pete save the dwarves from their own sour fate, or will he be forever doomed to plink his pickaxe away in hopes that he hits the motherlode?

Spot was summoned from his comfortable charging pad and familiar floors to a world of magic and intrigue. But after the flight of his new patrons, he is left alone to care for a filthy castle. During his quest to keep this new home clean, Spot will face demons, foreign armies, and his arch nemesis, the dreaded stairs. All those who stand before him will be swept away. Those who follow his spotless trail will find enlightenment, purity, and a world on its knees.

Lives are a currency, and Noah Vines is rich. With countless variations of runic magic to discover and with death serving as only a painful soul-wound rather than a final end, Noah finally has a chance to wander the lands of the living once more. This time around, he plans to get strong enough to make sure that he never has to wait around in the afterlife again.

Travel with Steve, doomed for eternity to serve as hell’s Mr. Fixit, on a wild ride through the circles of hell in this best-selling, humorous fantasy series. 

After his parents died, Alex Roth had one desire: become a wizard. Through hard work, he was accepted into the University of Generasi, the world’s greatest academy of wizardry.... Fate, however, had another plan. On his 18th birthday, he is Marked by prophecy as one of his kingdom’s five Heroes, chosen to fight the Ravener, his land’s great enemy. But his brand is "The Fool". Worst of the marks.

Large chests are said to encompass all manner of hopes and dreams. Men covet them. Women envy them. But one fact holds true - everyone wants to get their hands on some big ones. The same holds true for one intrepid adventurer - a strapping young lad by the name of Himmel. Armed with his grandfather's trusty longsword and the dream of being the strongest, he sets out on the journey of a lifetime!

Simon is the best delivery boy that Mr Edwards’s restaurant has ever had. He’s on time every time, and he’s gotten nothing but good reviews. But he needs more money. His mother’s medical treatment won’t pay for itself, and his father is already working three jobs to try to make ends meet. But it might just be his lucky day: Mr. Edwards has another job for him. It’s more delivery work, but not the usual kind. You might even say that it’s out of this world. Oh well. Beggars can’t be choosers, and the pay is fantastic.

With one touch of the stone, Tyron receives his Class and his life changes forever. In an instant his bright and promising future as the scion of two powerful Slayers is torn apart and he must make a decision.

Chuck Ramsey is a traveling con man fronting as a comedian. After a gig on Earth, he picks Mordecai The Brown, a hitchhiking wizard on the run from his own kind. Chuck's ship, the Radio City, is a Winnebego of the stars, serving as both home and transport as he schemes and scams across the galaxy with his family. The pair form an unlikely bond, and "Mort" becomes a part of that family. The Ramseys, wizard in tow, embark on a journey of criminal hijinks, magical mayhem, and evasion of consequences for both.

Juliette Contzen is a lazy, good-for-nothing princess. Overshadowed by her siblings, she's left with little to do but nap, read, and occasionally cut the falling raindrops with her sword. Spotted one day by an astonished adventurer, he insists on grading Juliette's swordsmanship, then promptly has a mental breakdown at the result. Soon after, Juliette is given the news that her kingdom is on the brink of bankruptcy. At the threat of being married off, the lazy princess vows to do whatever it takes to maintain her current lifestyle.

Jake is working at the neighborhood market under his apartment when the world ends. He expected nuclear war, a computer virus, or even climate change burning everyone to a crisp to bring about the downfall of civilization. But cruel and arbitrary gods from another world? Who would have guessed that? When these cruel gods shuffled Earth like a deck of cards, nothing was in the same place anymore. Monsters, dungeons, and magical items appear scattered across the globe. And suddenly, everyone has access to a new, strange magical card system that gives them magical powers.