Showing results by publisher "-emdashery books-" in Humourous Fiction

Mum and Dad have left—gone to Mars, and they’re never coming back. Freedom at last! But this isn’t one of Dad’s weird jokes; it’s REAL. It’s up to 10-year-old Eliza and her genius little brother, Johnnie, to find out what’s going on, and launch a rescue. Can they handle vampire squids, a suspicious villain, a secret island full of traps and a trip into space? And—more importantly—will they ever get their parents back?

After Billy gets sent home for fighting with the bus bully, Randy, he's got extra time to do some community service. Inspired by a speech about bullies and mistreated animals from his grandmother, Billy decides to spend some time with the dogs down at the local pound. But he soon learns that walking dogs is no picnic. Can Billy survive the heat and exercise? Can he keep the dogs on leash and out of the butcher shop? Can Billy be a good citizen to all, even the bus bully?!

Discover the incredible true adventures and amazing un-inventions of the most famous un-inventor in the world...Professor Stupido!

Mum's away. Dad's in charge. There's no milk. So Dad saves the day by going to buy some. Really, that's all that happens. Very boring. Yawn. There are absolutely none of the following inside: globby green aliens! Intergalactic police! Pirates! And most definitely not a time-travelling hot-air balloon piloted by the brilliant Professor Steg.

If Paddington Bear learned anything from his Uncle Pastuzo, it's that home is where you hang your hat. And for Paddington, nothing feels quite like home than being with the Brown family. Whether Paddington is starring in a surprise concert performance while eating a marmalade sandwich or thwarting a burglary attempt from Gentleman Dan, the Drainpipe Man, this one-of-a-kind bear keeps the Brown family home full of adventure and laughter.

What does a kid do when his Mum and Dad are worry warts? Make them rich, decides Keith. Very very rich. It's a brilliant plan, if it works.

War has finally come. But it's not a war between good and evil, or light and dark - it's a war between Sanctuaries. For too long, the Irish Sanctuary has teetered on the brink of world-ending disaster, and the other Sanctuaries around the world have had enough. Allies turn to enemies, friends turn to foes, and Skulduggery and Valkyrie must team up with the rest of the Dead Men if they're going to have any chance at all of maintaining the balance of power and getting to the root of a vast conspiracy that has been years in the making.

My friend Robin and I were going to have the best sleepover ever. We'd stay up late, eat s'mores, share secrets - and not knock on my magic mirror. I was not getting pulled into another fairy tale. But the mirror still ends up pulling me and my brother, Jonah, into Sleeping Beauty's story - and this time, Robin comes with us, too! When Robin pricks her finger on the spindle, I know we're in trouble.

I'm spending the day with my best friends, Frankie and Robin, and - ugh - snobby Penny. I'm not expecting anything magical to happen, until Frankie falls into a mysterious hole behind Penny's house...and we all wind up in the story of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland! I've visited fairytales before. But, in Wonderland, everything is topsy-turvy. There are potions that make you grow, cakes that make you shrink, bossy caterpillars, and a horrible Queen of Hearts who wants to put us on trial.

From the million-copy bestselling author of The Parent Agency and Birthday Boy comes a wildly entertaining wish-fulfilment adventure that asks the question: what would happen if the strictest head teacher swapped bodies with the naughtiest kid in school?

RJ Spencer is a lucky 12-year-old. He lives in the big city and his parents are landlords of the high-rise apartment building that is his home. The many tenants in the building, along with the endless possibilities of adventures in the city itself, are the perfect setting for the young detective as he sets out to solve every case he can get his hands on.

"My old friend Creepella von Cacklefur invited me to her family's spooky castle. And before I could say 'not for all the cheese in Cheddarton,' she'd mousenapped me! And holey cheese, what an adventure! I was off to Niagara Falls on a field trip with my nephew Benjamin's class. I was surrounded by mischievous young mouselets who seemed determined to send me over the Falls in a barrel!" (Geronimo Stilton)

Here's my excellent plan to make DogZombies the best band in the whole wide world! How hard can it be? (Very.) Right now I'm going to: 1. Write more songs (not about teachers). 2. Make a spectacular music video (easy). 3. Get some sleep (tricky when you're being kept awake by loud noises). 4. Annoy Delia (nothing to do with DogZombies but always fun).

Ash is back at TENNIS CAMP and so HAPPY to see her friends again. When they all find out that they will COMPETE at the end of camp in a singles tournament and the WINNERS will get to be a ball kid at the local grown-ups tournament, they all get SUPER EXCITED! Especially when there's a chance they'll get to meet their tennis heroes AND go on TV!

Toto and her friends are on their way to Ireland. Their old arch rival Archduke Ferdinand needs their help infiltrating a gang who he feels sure are up to something. Toto disguises herself and soon discovers there is some very valuable treasure buried in the hills above the town in the cliffs.

Meet Holling Hoodhood, a seventh-grader at Camillo Junior High who must spend Wednesday afternoons with his teacher, Mrs. Baker, while the rest of the class has religious instruction. Mrs. Baker doesn’t like Holling - he’s sure of it. Why else would she make him read the plays of William Shakespeare outside class? But everyone has bigger things to worry about, like Vietnam.

Uncle Bart reckons humans don't hate cane toads, but Limpy knows they do. He's spotted the signs. The cross looks. The unkind comments. The way they squash cane toads with their cars. Limpy is desperate to save his family from ending up as placemats. Somehow he must make humans see how nice cane toads really are.

The Taylor Turbochaser is a road-trip roller coaster...with a twist. At its heart is the unforgettable Amy Taylor. Amy loves cars, and dreams of being a driver. But there’s a major catch: her slow old wheelchair with its broken wheel. When Amy finally gets a new electric one, it’s exciting...at first. But standard engines only have so much power. And that’s where Rahul comes in - Amy’s best friend and genius inventor. Soon Rahul turns a wheelchair into...a supercar!

Poor Mr. Swimble is having a bad day. Rabbits are bouncing out of his hat, pigeons are flying out of his jacket and every time he points his finger, something magically appears - cheese sandwiches, socks...even a small yellow elephant on wheels! It's becoming a real nuisance - and he's allergic to rabbits. His friends at the Magic Rectangle can't help, but the mysterious vacuum cleaner he saw that morning may have something to do with it....

Abby and Jonah fall through their magic mirror into the story of The Princess and the Pea. Abby spends a restless night atop a giant pile of mattresses - and in the morning, what does she discover but a smushed pea beneath the stack! The kingdom declares that she has passed their test, and is the new princess! But what will happen when the real princess shows up? Hilarity, adventures, and lots of girl power ensue!