Showing results for "james" in Humorous

Captain Quasar is out of time. Pursued by vengeful Goobalob toll collectors, savage Arachnoid bounty hunters, and formidable Amazonians, Captain Bartholomew Quasar must do whatever he can to keep the crew of the Effervescent Magnitude out of harm's way. All in a day's work - except time is not on his side. Torn from the present to relive his past, he vows to keep mistakes from occurring the second time around. But is he doomed to repeat history? Or can he erase his regrets?

God's just been in a deep-freeze coma in the Arctic. Strapped for cash, the Vatican has sold the body (a bargain at $1.3 billion!) to Baptists in Florida. Enterprising souls that they are, they’ve turned the Corpus Dei into a popular two-mile-long theme-park attraction at Orlando’s Celestial City USA - hooked up to the largest life-support system on earth. Then things get weird....

Join the Endurance's crew - a trigger-happy first officer, a hyperactive engineer, a shy covert operative, a conspiracy-spouting physicist and a captain trying to earn his way back into his superiors' good graces - as they explore the galaxy by accident and trip their way into saving the world.

The ongoing battle between star quarterback Quentin Barnes and team owner Gredok the Splithead is coming to a head. Endless threats and promises of ultraviolence hang on their every word. With sentients of several groups trying to manipulate or kill him, Quentin must chart a new course if he is to survive and overcome his injury to once again lead his beloved Krakens into battle.

The Alliance dangles by its fingertips over the abyss of oblivion as the Zelnads rev up for their grand finale of destruction. Outgunned, outmaneuvered, and probably out of witty comebacks, our heroes embark on a suicide mission to the oh-so-hospitable planet Kigantu. Their goal? Find the secret sauce to glue a fractured galaxy back together. No pressure.

In the fractured galaxy of 2427, disgraced pilot Geddy Starheart thought his biggest problem was retrieving his stolen starship. Little did he know he was about to become entangled in a cosmic conspiracy that threatens all of existence. When Geddy teams up with a motley salvage crew to reclaim his custom-built vessel, he discovers an unexpected passenger: an alien entity called Eli, who reveals the shocking truth about the mysterious Zelnads. These cryptic beings created humankind as a test, and now they're ready to hit the reset button.

After eight years alone on Earth 2, Geddy Starheart is ready to get off. Off-world, that is. But before he can, someone steals his ship. His quest to find it takes him on a hilarious, galaxy-spanning adventure with his only friend--the ancient alien trapped in his head. Geddy rose through the ranks of a shady auction house dealing in stolen goods. When it got too dicey, he fled to Earth 2 and changed his identity. Years later, he watched the last transport leave for Earth 3. Everyone figured him dead, and he was good with that.

New Arcadia is growing. Across the river, the borough of Brookline is now ready for players. That’s where the hottest new nightclub is opening for business - Club Re-LOVE-ution. They spelled it that way on purpose. Blaze and his friends must team up to infiltrate the club and stop the deadly Drug X menace from taking over the city. Standing in their way are Berta and Beata, two German pop superstars who have teamed up with a mysterious benefactor for their big comeback. If Blaze’s team fails, it’s Game Over.

Gen-X computer hacker Toby is a classic American: impulsive, irreverent, intelligent, and inventive. And, after a silly accident in 2008, he can add “inanimate” to the list—because Toby is dead. But only for a while. Eighty years later, medical science has advanced enough to bring Toby back to life.

When the planet is being eaten by interdimensional parasites who literally tear holes in reality, what do you do? If you're Charlie Chase, you dive headfirst into an interdimensional adventure. Charlie knows her calling is a weighty one, but she trusts her mentor's orders: Travel to another dimension, fix the tear, and get home to do it all over again.

As the United States sinks into apocalypse, two people fight to preserve life and sanity. One is Nora Burkhart, a schoolteacher who will stop at nothing to save her son. The other is genius sculptor Gerard Korty, who struggles to create a masterwork that will heal the metaphysical wounds of the age. Highlights include a bloody battle on a New Jersey golf course between Jews and anti-Semites, a debate between Martin Luther and Erasmus, and a chilling villain in the personage of Dr. Adrian Lucido - founder of a new pagan church in Mexico and inventor of a cure worse than any disease.

Beautiful. Magnificent. Indestructible. These are the plaudits given to the luxury space liner as it sets forth on its maiden voyage to distant vacation planets. Onboard, far below the decks of the rich and famous, is an unhappy, forlorn janitor named Chuck who mops and sweeps and dreams of, one day, becoming a captain and piloting a great spaceship such as this.

Centuries have passed since evil Emperor Zhan attacked Earth and sent humankind packing in a mass exodus. Now the human race is scattered throughout the galaxy, and United World Space Command is no more. Captain Bartholomew Quasar and the crew of the Effervescent Magnitude have one purpose: to reunite the descendants of Earth's diaspora and save their planet from the monstrous machines Zhan left behind to ensure Earth's ultimate demise.

Pursued by vengeful Goobalob toll collectors, savage Arachnoid bounty hunters, and formidable Amazonians, Captain Bartholomew Quasar must do whatever he can to keep the crew of the Effervescent Magnitude out of harm's way. All in a day's work - except time is not on his side. Torn from the present to relive his past, he vows to keep mistakes from occurring the second time around. But is he doomed to repeat history? Or can he erase his regrets?

Resurgence is going to war. The beta players have finally reached the endgame. That means something entirely different for Alex and his friends, however, as they are the only ones who know the secret behind Resurgence and the company responsible for the game—AltCon. Assuming all the pieces fall into place and time stays on their side, they very well could be the omega players.

Nearly a thousand years removed from Earth, the remnants of humanity cling to existence inside giant, space faring creatures known as the Zenzee. Abused and exploited by humans for generations, these majestic animals nearly went extinct, but under the command of its newly minted ruler, Doka Kaleigh, life in the Parados I has flourished. Thanks to careful oversight and sacrifice by all of its crew, they are now on the brink of utopia, and yet Doka's rivals feel threatened by that success.

Jason Slater is a very average twenty-first-century English teacher from Cheadle Hulme, but somehow wakes up after a few drinks in nineteenth-century Macclesfield. Apparently, he's now Tarquin, third son of Lord Belport, with a faithful valet, a suspicious brother, a spurned ex-girlfriend (who's now going out with his brother)—and no obvious way he'll ever get back home again. From toasted sandwich makers and the perfect beer, to root canals and royal visits, can Jason—Tarquin, that is—change the course of history and make 1834 his playground?