Showing results for "james" in Dark Humour

With the shadow of the Flayed Monarch looming ever closer, Dan must prepare the store and himself for the battle to come. To stand a chance, he’ll need to expand his operations, broker a precarious trade deal with the Delvers of Howlers Hold, and transform his stash of relics into an arsenal of magical war crimes.

Dan has accidentally "Noclipped" into the Backrooms—a bizarro, extra-dimensional Alice-in-Wonderland world, overrun with horrific nightmare creatures known as the Dwellers. No one ever gets out. Hell, forget about leaving, if Dan wants to survive the week, he's going to need to harness the strange game-like magic of the Backrooms, make some very sketchy allies, and carve out a little safe haven to call his own.

Dolores dela Cruz has been dying to spot one in the wild, and he fits the mold perfectly: strangler gloves, calculated charm, dashing good looks that give a leg up in any field ... including fields of unmarked graves. The new office temp is definitely a serial killer.

From John G. Hartness comes a must-listen collection of four Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter novellas: She Talks to Angels, Shout at the Devil, Angel of Harlem, and Sympathy for the Devil. She Talks to Angels: In the fifth part of the Quincy Harker crossover series, Gabby helps hunt down a rogue archangel in St. Louis, learning more about herself, about history, and about that cute doctor's son than she expected.

For the first time, the Internet phenomenon is now in print! Beheading a zombie isn't easy in a world where you're more afraid of the living than the dead. Adrian Ring's simple life is thrown into chaos when the world is ripped apart by a plague of undead and legions of desperate survivors. Retreating to Auburn Lake Preparatory Academy, Adrian attempts to rescue friends and family on the way while dancing around his impending insanity over who and what he left behind, and evading maniac survivors.

He became a best-selling novelist while still in college, immediately famous and wealthy. He watched his insufferable father reduced to a bag of ashes in a safety-deposit box. He was lost in a haze of booze, drugs and vilification. Then he was given a second chance. This is the life of Bret Easton Ellis, the author and subject of this remarkable novel. Confounding one expectation after another, Lunar Park is equally hilarious, horrifying and heartbreaking. It’s the most original novel of an extraordinary career - and best of all: it all happened, every word is true.

Things are going well for Jane Murphy, or so it seems. She’s making it in New York, a sort of wunderkind at the social media marketing startup where she works. She’s put an experimental writer, Jeremy Miller, on the map by helping him concoct a viral internet novel, told in fragments through various fake social media accounts. But privately, Jane feels trapped, ruled by her routines and her compulsions, caught up in an endless cycle of soothing and punishing herself.

A customer service assistant spends her long workdays printing letters. Her one friend is the printer and, in the dark confines of her office, she begins to open up to him, talking about her fears, her past, her hopes and dreams. To her, it seems like a beautiful friendship is blossoming. To her boss, it seems like she’s losing her mind.

Kyle Hammond is suffering a surprise birthday party he really didn’t want. As he blows out the candles on his cake, he makes a token wish. Three days later, to his utter astonishment, that wish comes true. All his problems solved, Kyle is counting his blessings when a pensioner turns up at his door unannounced. The stranger then confounds Kyle by claiming credit for his good fortune, followed by a bizarre declaration: When Edmund Wishkin grants a wish, there’s always a price to pay. Whether he believes the old man or not, Kyle is about to discover the true cost of a wish fulfilled.

Noah desperately needs a new job that involves less blood and piss than his current one. So, when he spots an ad for a newspaper with ‘No experience preferred,’ he puts on his good shirt and marches down to their average-looking office to unknowingly sign his life away. Malachia is the only human left in the City of Silence and she spends her time wandering its empty, bone-filled streets. Until one day she finds a lone figure hunched over a typewriter, his fingers enmeshed with the keys. Could he be the answer to finding her missing girlfriend?

If I were evil, I wouldn’t start a cult. I’d start a sales company. And I’d build it from the ground up using exploitation, manipulation, and psychological warfare. But I wouldn’t call it that. I’d call it “growth.” “Opportunity.” “Hustle.” If I Were Evil is the ultimate anti-guide—a satire that sounds like a how-to for building a modern-day cult disguised as a sales team. Based on real-life experiences from inside the system, this book walks you step-by-step through the tactics, traps, and twisted incentives that turn rookies into revenue and loyalty into leverage.

It's 2016. Lance Alcocke, sole heir to an iron ore fortune, 40-ish bachelor, has just lost control of his life's work. His newly opened mine, Madeleine's Monster, named after his pioneering, iron-fisted grandmother, was supposed to be a workers' paradise in the Pilbara. But the Monster can't cover its costs, and Lance's Korean financiers are trying to steal his company out from under him. They've appointed administrators to APC Minerals, and Lance's 1,200 workers have lost their jobs.

Aspiring actress Elizabeth Smart lands her centre-stage role: her mutilated body is found dumped in North London's red light district. Clasped in her hand is a piece of human hair belonging to an unidentified body of a woman murdered two weeks ago. PC Donal lands himself a place on the murder squad just as his unconventional brother, journalist Finton, unearths the secret double life of Elizabeth. The bodies mount, each clinging to the strands of hair belonging to the previous victim.

Tales from the Beach House is a satiric work of fiction that sharply captures the "man-bites-dog" world of contemporary South Florida. The Beach House, a crumbling old motel, is home to a collection of eccentric residents. Amongst their ranks: a tennis pro at the end of his game, a mortuary scientist whose love life has flat-lined, a paparazzo photographer searching for scoops, and more. Each member of this cohort is in search of something - fast money, an easy hustle, fleeting romance, enduring love, fame, power, dignity, happiness...a place they can call home.

Since 1985, more than 500 overweight teenagers have come to Camp Wašíču looking to lose weight, gain self-confidence, and turn their lives around. Phillip McCracken arrives, weighing in at almost 400 pounds; but the baggage he carries from the past affects him much more deeply than the numbers of the scale. When a homicidal maniac hell-bent on revenge attacks, Phillip will be forced to either find the courage to save the people around him or fall victim to his own self-doubt...and possibly a machete.

Poor Neccabashar. As the youngest demon on the Evil Council, he’s tried everything to gain the respect of the elder demons and still they ignore and slight him at every opportunity. But Neccabashar has a plan, a scheme that will finally garner him the respect he so craves: he will bring evil and chaos to the last pure bastion of good, the Happy Kingdom.

When a young woman is kidnapped, Donal is brought in to deliver the ransom money. But the tightly planned drop off goes wrong, Julie Draper is discovered dead, and Donal finds his job on the line - a scapegoat for the officers in charge. But when Donal is delivered a cryptic message in the night, he learns that Julie was killed long before the botched rescue mission.

Two buffoons, Ed and Harry, are trapped in their tower block apartments following an apocalypse neither of them remembers, knowing only that daylight is deadly and that they must at all times wear totally immersion, body seal suits, and masks, Ed, doesn’t care why there is always food in the fridge. He is quite happy to remain in his apartment and immerse himself in history books. On the other hand, Harry is bored stupid and is determined to trick Ed into leaving their building and trekking across the rubble in search of answers.

It is the summer of 1914. As the world teeters on the brink of the Great War, a callow American painter, Francis Wyndham, arrives at a renowned European insane asylum, where he begins offering art therapy under the auspices of Alessandro Caligari - sinister psychiatrist, maniacal artist, alleged sorcerer. And determined to turn the impending cataclysm to his financial advantage, Dr. Caligari will - for a price - allow governments to parade their troops past his masterpiece: a painting so mesmerizing it can incite entire regiments to rush headlong into battle.

Imagine James and the Giant Peach, only instead of a giant peach it's a genetic abomination, an unholy hulk of agonized flesh that should not be...and instead of a small boy sharing a jolly adventure with a group of anthropomorphic insects, there is a mindless killing machine on a nightmare voyage through an ecological hell with a group of horrifying freaks! Torture in the name of science! A plastic island inhabited by mutant sea monkeys! Pollution kaiju! A retelling of a beloved children's classic sure to have the original author spinning in his grave!