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episode 24-Digging Deeper Into Stress and Daily Practices

episode 24-Digging Deeper Into Stress and Daily Practices

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 Summary: I explore how resistance to what is and other attitudes creates stress and how various daily practices can alleviate it. I’ve found that I often just adjust and tolerate stress rather than actually deal with it effectively. It seems to be socially acceptable, and even a badge of honor to be stressed out because we work so hard or have such a demanding schedule. Here are simple ways to do small things that can make a big difference! Sign up for my email list to receive access to my bi-weekly blog here: https://linktr.ee/vickidawn Welcome to episode 24, Digging Deeper Into Stress and Daily Practices. I'm your host, Vickidawn, and welcome. I've done several podcasts with guests, and I plan to return to that next year. I'm updating my topic schedule and looking for guests that will inspire you. Today's topic, digging deeper into stress and daily practices is a result of our last podcast discussion - Review the Past and Plan the Future and What About Stress. We talked about how living in the past or future and how our thoughts trigger stress and the effects of that on our body mind and our brains. We identified how living in the past or future is a coping mechanism when we want to escape our present moment. First - stress management strategy - don't try to think your way out of stress. You can't always control circumstances or people, but you can control your response to them. Let me ask you, how do you handle yourself? What do you do in the moment when your child is having a tantrum or you have a job interview that's scaring you, it's something you really want, or you look at the finances and there's more going out than coming in? If you're like most of us - like me, you simply carry on, you do what's in front of you in the moment, and stuff your feelings of fear, frustration, sadness, or anger down. Stuffing our feelings is a form of resistance, resisting the present moment what is. We do the best we can, but there are experiences we would really rather not experience. A toothache, a flare-up of your diabetes, a child in trouble at school again. Living in the moment isn't always pleasant, is it? What can we do? Consciously, let go of resistance. This doesn't mean you have to like what is happening, but you remove the resistance that comes from telling yourself that it shouldn't be happening, whether it should or shouldn't happen is irrelevant because it is happening. We let go of the expectation that we shouldn't experience problems. After all, what is a problem? In his book Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, Oliver Burkeman defines a problem as simply something that demands that you address yourself to it. It isn't a personal attack or a plot to ruin you. It's just something in your life to address. Sometimes you do need to change the environment and use problem-focused coping. This involves taking the steps to remove the stressor from your life as opposed to changing how you feel about the stressor. We focus a lot on time management in our culture and I've done it in my past, in my career, and in my life in general daily thinking I should get more done, I should be more productive, more effective, whatever the comment is to myself. I'd like to talk today about agreement management instead. Every action you take during your day is an agreement either with someone else or with yourself. Instead of agreeing to everything, start saying, "Thank you for thinking of me. Let me think about it and then do." Think about it. Define for yourself what is pushing yourself 10% outside your comfort zone. What does that look like? If the request is pushing you 30%, consider saying no. There may be times that you do in the short term want to push yourself further outside your comfort zone than 10%, but I'm talking about if this is a chronic problem for you - stop. We do want to grow and contribute and we get to manage our agreements in a way that we aren't creating - stressed out. This can be especially difficult for people-pleasers or those that feel they have to earn love and acceptance because they will agree to so much more than what they can do. Another problem-focused coping skill is to have support. Ask for it. Accept it. Don't try to do everything on your own. Controllers may feel especially challenged by this because they tell themselves if they don't do it, it won't get done right or it won't get done at all. Practice letting others do it. To let someone else do something their way is to allow them dignity and respect. As the proverb goes, if you want to go fast go alone, but if you want to go far go together. Stress relievers can also focus on changing your emotions. That's probably the ones that we think of most often. Some simple stress relievers that you can do anywhere, and they take very little practice to master include hugs. Yes, hugs. They release oxytocin which reduces blood pressure and can produce a sense of relaxation. Aromatherapy has the benefit of making you feel ...
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