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Why We Can't Take Care Of Ourselves

Why We Can't Take Care Of Ourselves

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 Learn More About Your Host: Nick Neve*New Episodes Release Weekly*Welcome to Relationships With a Soul* — I’m Nick, and this podcast is about learning to connect, not just with others, but with the deepest parts of yourself.In the world we live in, most connections stay on the surface, we go deeper — into what it truly means to feel seen, supported, and safe.Each week, we’ll talk about healing old patterns, setting boundaries, and building the kind of relationships that start with self-trust and ripple outward into every part of your life.Real fulfillment isn’t about having more — it’s about becoming more of who you really are, surrounded by connections that feel true.I’ve spent over two decades studying human behavior, spirituality, and connection — experimenting, failing, healing, and documenting what truly works. These episodes are here to help you grow through that same process with compassion, curiosity, and courage.If you’re ready to stop chasing love and start becoming it, you’re in the right place. Let’s get into today’s episode.*short disclaimer there is some language in this episode. If kids are around, please be mindful.EP: 37 Why We Can’t Take Care Of OurselvesBy now most of us have heard of the expression “Take Care Of Yourself”. We all understand the English of what this means. It even sounds great to the ears. But why doesn’t it stick? Why do we hear these words and then revert right back to old patterns of burnout, people pleasing, self-sabotage, and other forms of destruction.As someone whose been at rock bottom, barely able to get out of bed, and also someone who has abused his mind and body for most of his life, I’m proud to say that I no longer treat myself that way.How did I get over that hump finally?I came to fully grasp the reason why we just don’t take care of ourselves and in this episode I’m going to break it down for you. I’ll also outline the enormous benefits that happen once you finally DO take care of yourself. I guarantee that you can’t see them right now otherwise, you would immediately take the plunge and wouldn’t look back.So what’s stopping you from self-care?You are gridlocked in the “fight, flight, or freeze” response. Maybe you’ve heard this before but do you really know why it has so much power over you?It’s because you live in a world that hopes and preys on trapping you there and keeping you there.When you’re stuck in this state, you feel like you’re not enough, you’re not worthy, you need to do more, be more— to finally feel ok with yourself.This is the main message that society spreads to everyoneYou can’t stop until you’ve done “this”. You can’t finally relax until you’ve become “that”. And then what happens when you finally achieve that level?The bar gets silently raised and you’re trapped all over again.Like an animal that’s being threatened, your senses are always up. You’re dangerously overstimulated, which makes it impossible to sit down, process things at a logical level, and asks the REAL questions that will reward you with what you truly want.You’re so far into fight or flight, that thinking about changing anything at all brings about massive fear, and since you’re already at maximum, how could you possibly handle another thing on top of that heavy load you already carry. This is the way the mind works.Not to mention, the change being asked of you is a change you’re unfamiliar with, a change that is often less stimulating than what you’re currently used to. So that makes it seem boring, useless, like a real waste of time. It’s part of the reason why it’s so hard for you to allow this to happen in your life.I used to live in this state.Before my feet would even hit the floor in the morning I’d reach over to my nightstand and pick up my phone. Scanning my emails, the stock market, text messages, and social media. Secretly praying for something to set me off. Positive or negative, it didn’t matter. I just wanted to feel “alive”. but in doing that every morning I didn’t realize that it was disrupting my peace, my equilibrium, my nervous system. My ability to concentrate, or have any chance at discipline whatsoever.But the worst part?I was giving control of my mood and feelings to whatever I saw on the screen. If it was positive, I would have a great day, if it was negative, I was doomed before the clock even hit 9am.More often than not, the news was negative or unfulfilling and before my day even started, my energy plummeted, I felt like a failure, all because I gave control of my life to outside forces that were never in my control to begin with.Sure it was exciting in the moment to get that hit of dopamine.But the cost of that was MASSIVE. The cost was basically gambling my entire day. And it was almost always dissatisfying. The house always wins.The danger of living this way is that you remain in a constant state of fight, flight or freeze and ...
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