
Why Am I Always at Odds With Myself? ADHD and the Tug-of-War Within
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About this listen
In this deep-dive episode, Carmen explores the constant inner conflict many adults with ADHD experience—what psychology calls cognitive dissonance. It's that mental tug-of-war between what we intend to do and what we actually do, often amplified in ADHD brains due to emotional dysregulation, executive dysfunction, masking, and rejection sensitivity.
Using real-life examples, neuroscience, and humor (because healing doesn’t have to be boring), Carmen unpacks why ADHD brains are particularly vulnerable to these internal battles—and why it’s not laziness but wiring.
🧠 Listeners learn how ADHD impacts conflict detection in the brain, how people-pleasing and overcommitment fuel identity confusion, and why masking can lead to a fractured sense of self.
🧰 From Chaos to Clarity: 5 Science-Backed Strategies
To turn the inner war into teamwork, Carmen shares five practical tools:
* Journaling – Externalize the chaos and gain insight into internal conflicts.
* Visualization – Mentally rehearse success and reduce anxiety about feared outcomes.
* Mindfulness – Train your attention and regulate emotional storms in real time.
* Values Clarification – Anchor decisions to your personal compass, not “shoulds.”
* Flexible Planning – Plan with grace, not rigidity, to accommodate ADHD’s unpredictability.
💡 Takeaway Message:
You’re not “too much” or “not enough”—you’re wired differently, and that wiring explains the dissonance. But with the right tools and some self-compassion (backed by neuroscience!), you can stop feeling at war with yourself and start collaborating with your brain.
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