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What is Projection and how it shows up in relationships

What is Projection and how it shows up in relationships

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 If there was one thing I wished more people struggling with conflict in relationships understood,it’s this:IT’S NEVER ABOUT WHAT IT’S ABOUT.The disagreement? It’s only the tip of the iceberg.What’s really happening is something much deeper—a projection, like a movie playing on a screen.But the drama isn’t on the screen. It’s inside the projector—YOU.You know the cycle, don’t you.The same arguments on repeat, like a bad playlist you can’t escape.The rising tension that makes you feel unseen, unheard, and powerless.The emotional meltdowns that leave you drained, questioning if love is supposed to feel this heavy.You’ve tried everything—calm conversations, walking away, maybe even couples therapy. But nothing sticks. The same wounds keep showing up, dressed in different clothes.It’s exhausting.You’ve wondered:“Why do they keep doing this?”“Why can’t I just find someone who gets me?”“Is it me? Am I the problem?”And here’s the truth you don’t want to hear but need to:Yes, it’s you (like the Taylor Swift song).But not in the way you think.This is the essence of “Projections" in relationships.Every time you’re triggered, two hidden dynamics are at play:Projection 1: “Just Like When”That trait in your partner—their tone, their distance, their bossiness—that sets you off-- It’s a carbon copy of someone from your past(you know who I’m talking about). Maybe it’s your partner’s dismissiveness that echoes your mother’s silent treatment. Or their criticism that feels eerily like your father’s impossible standards.You’re not fighting your partner. You’re fighting a ghost.Projection 2: “Just Like Me”This confronts many people at the Overview Experience Training: The thing you can’t stand in them— It’s a mirror to a part of yourself you’ve disowned or stuffed away, or rejected.Example: Their neediness makes you furious because you’ve buried your own parts that are anxious and needy.Their jealousy drives you mad because it reflects your own insecurities.This is why conflict feels so raw—it’s not just about the relationship. It’s about the unresolved parts of you.This is why having the courage to look at your own shadows is so magical. Imagine this:Instead of avoiding conflict, you lean into it as a tool for growth.Arguments stop feeling like emotional landmines and start becoming opportunities for intimacy.You no longer chase love, approval, or security. You become it.When you learn how to “integrate" these two projections, everything changes:You stop blaming your partner for your triggers.You reclaim your power and become the secure partner you’ve been searching for.You create a relationship where love feels like peace, not chaos.Try This: Shadow Work in ActionHere’s a simple exercise to take your first step:Pause. Take a deep breath the next time you’re triggered.Reflect. Ask yourself:“Who does this remind me of?”“What’s the first memory this situation brings up?”You will notice that this frustration is a reflection, just like when you were younger in a similar dynamic.You’re replaying it as a chance to heal.Then pick up the mirror. Now ask:“What trait in them might actually be a reflection of me?”“Where do I do the same in my own flavor?” "What part of myself am I rejecting right now?”Write your answers down when you’re reflecting.This is where things begin to shift.Imagine waking up each day, no longer held hostage by your triggers.No more arguments spiraling into chaos.No more chasing approval or fearing abandonment.Instead, you approach conflict with clarity and grace.You stand grounded in your truth—without anger, without fear.You create relationships that feel like a safe haven, not a battlefield.When you put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror, something extraordinary happens:You stop waiting for someone else to change, and you become the catalyst for transformation.This is the power of becoming Trigger-Proof.It’s not about being perfect.It’s about showing up authentically, owning your story, and learning to repair when things go off track.Because the quality of your relationships shapes the quality of your life—and you hold the key to both.This pattern didn’t start with you,but with the right tools, the power is in your hands for it to end with you.Your guide in breaking the cycle,Nima------P.S. If this podcast resonates,and you’re ready to stop losing yourself in relationships…I’m offering a free Blind Spot Intuitive Session ($497 value)to those who are serious about breaking free from this cycleand creating secure, thriving relationships.On this session, we’ll identify the exact unconscious patterns keeping you stuckin enmeshment and map out how to reclaim your independencewithout losing your connection.But here’s the catch: This is only for those who can follow instructions,and aren’t going to be too offended by some ...

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