In this episode, I sit down with Niki Davis-Fainbloom (aka Miss Bloom), a non-monogamy pleasure and fetish coach, to explore the world of fetishes, kinks, and how our culture shapes desire. Nikki shares her research from hundreds of interviews with people who hold “uncommon” desires, and breaks down the difference between kinks and fetishes, the origins of certain turn-ons, and how to talk about these vulnerable topics with a partner. From the neuroscience of foot fetishes to the playful roleplay of vor (the desire to be “swallowed”), this conversation is packed with insights, humor, and permission to embrace who you truly are in the bedroom.

Whether you’re curious about your own desires, wanting to spark intimacy with a long-term partner, or simply fascinated by human sexuality, this episode will leave you with tools to open conversations and normalize what society often stigmatizes.

Timestamps:

00:00 – Welcome & Introduction to Miss Bloom

01:05 – What is a fetish? Defining desires beyond the norm

03:10 – Fetish vs. kink: How they differ and overlap

05:05 – How culture shapes our desires (the quicksand example)

07:00 – Shame, secrecy, and impact on relationships

09:05 – Coaching example: Roleplay for vor fetish

11:10 – The neuroscience of foot fetishes

13:00 – Tips for sharing fetishes with a partner

14:20 – Consent, communication & closing thoughts

✨ If you’ve ever felt “different” in your desires, this episode is here to remind you: You are not alone.

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About the Guest:

Niki Davis-Fainbloom is a Canadian-born, New York-based sex educator, writer, researcher, and coach. Since receiving her Master’s degree studying the psychology of sexual dysfunction from NYU, she has facilitated hundreds of sexual education workshops at locations including Planned Parenthood, New York University, and The United Nations. After studying Sex Therapy at Guelph University, she has also built up her coaching practice, specializing in working with kinks & fetishes, ethical non-monogamy, and most importantly, pleasure. Her work uses up-to-date research, humor, and practical advice to help people develop the skills to have healthier and more satisfying romantic and sexual relationships.

Connect with Niki Davis-Fainbloom (aka Miss Bloom):

Website: https://www.nikidavisf.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/missbloomsexeducator

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: karen@taboototruth.com

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast