Buckle your seatbelt—or don’t, but it’ll cost you $28.50 if you’re in a commercial vehicle—because this episode of Traffic School went straight off the rails and into the figure-eight racetrack of madness. Viktor kicked things off by roasting the name “Marvin,” clarifying commercial seatbelt fines, and then immediately derailing into a rant about budget deficits and how seatbelt tickets might be Idaho’s golden ticket to funding underground pedestrian tunnels. We got legal bumper talk—plastic vs. metal, 2x4s as DIY crash protection—and someone trying to classify their Ford Focus skeleton as street-legal. Listeners were in rare form, asking about front license plate exemptions, phantom girlfriends, and the legality of driving vehicles that look like they were built in Minecraft. The cherry on this chaotic sundae? Viktor’s bass-playing buddy Nick accidentally triggered a statewide manhunt because someone thought his mountain-man vibe matched a murder suspect’s. Choppers, feds, and Fox News all got involved before realizing they were chasing the wrong beard. Throw in truck nuts, train horns, DoorDash phone-touch paranoia, a deep dive into DOT port law, and a live lifeline call to a commercial vehicle code specialist, and you’ve got a broadcast that could only be described as bureaucratic anarchy on caffeine.

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