Self-care for parents isn’t selfish. It’s fuel.

In this episode of the Thriving Kids podcast, Dave Anderson, PhD, talks with Joanna Kim, PhD, about what real self-care looks like for busy parents — especially those who feel guilty even thinking about taking a break.

We cover:
• Why “self-care” can feel privileged or unrealistic
• How to “fill your cup” in 1–5 minutes (no spa day required)
• The science of parent engagement and what gets in the way
• How sleep, boundaries, and saying no protect your energy
• Why modeling rest and balance matters for your kids

From tea with a daily quote to pocket Sudoku to sleeping in without guilt — this episode is about small, doable changes that help you show up as the parent you want to be.

Follow Joanna Kim’s Engaging Families Lab:
Instagram: @engagingfamilieslab
Website: engagingfamilieslab.org

Further Reading
The Impact of Parental Burnout, American Psychological Association (APA)
Mental Health Resources for Parents, Mental Health America (MHA)
Why Self-Care Is Essential to Parenting, Child Mind Institute

In this Thriving Kids Q&A episode, Dave Anderson, PhD, answers parent questions about child stress, anxiety, avoidance, burnout, and emotional coping.

Building on a recent conversation with Dylan Gee, PhD, professor of psychology at Yale University, this episode focuses on how kids learn to respond to stress — and how parent behavior can either ease anxiety or reinforce it over time.

Dr. Dave addresses common situations parents face, including school anxiety, physical symptoms of stress, overscheduling, achievement pressure, and burnout. He explains why avoidance often makes anxiety worse and how parents can support kids without pushing too hard or accommodating in ways that keep stress stuck.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How kids model parental stress — and how to change your own venting habits
• Why avoidance increases anxiety over time
• Why anxiety often shows up as stomachaches or headaches
• How to help kids face stress without overwhelming them
• When reassurance backfires — and what to do instead
• How accommodation can unintentionally reinforce anxiety
• How to support overscheduled teens under college pressure
• What teen burnout looks like after prolonged stress
• Simple tools to reset a child’s nervous system before tests, games, or performances

This episode draws on evidence-based approaches from cognitive behavioral therapy, child development research, and clinical practice. It’s designed for parents of elementary-, middle-, and high-school-aged kids navigating anxiety, perfectionism, stress, and emotional overload.

Thriving Kids is a parenting podcast from the Child Mind Institute, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting children with mental health, behavior, and learning challenges.

Resources mentioned:

• How do I help my child cope with stress? https://childmind.org/positiveparenting/coping-with-stress
• Anxiety resources for teens and parents https://childmind.org/topics/anxiety
• The art and science of mindfulness https://childmind.org/article/the-art-and-science-of-mindfulness

For more expert guidance and free family resources, visit:

https://childmind.org/resources

Is your child struggling with stress — or is it something more?

In this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson sits down with Dr. Dylan Gee, a professor of psychology at Yale University, to explore the vital difference between managing stress and simply trying to avoid it. While it’s natural to want to "pave the road" and remove obstacles for our children, learning to tolerate discomfort is one of the most important emotional skills a child can build.

We discuss the "avoidance trap," where stepping in to solve every problem can actually make a child's stress worse over time. Dr. Gee explains how kids can learn to recover from hard moments and why your own emotional state as a caregiver is the most powerful tool for helping a stressed child feel safe and supported.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The Avoidance Trap: Why helping kids avoid stress can undermine their ability to build long-term resilience.
• The Power of Parental Regulation: How staying calm and regulated helps your child cope when things feel overwhelming.
• Validation and Labeling: Why identifying big emotions like "frustrated" or "scared" is the first step toward managing them.
• Challenging Extreme Thinking: How to guide kids away from "all-or-nothing" thoughts and toward more balanced perspectives.
• Filling the Coping Toolbox: Practical strategies like deep breathing, mindfulness, and creative expression to help kids bounce back.

In this Q&A episode of Thriving Kids Podcast, Dave Anderson answers listener questions following last week’s conversation with Jennifer Wallace on achievement culture and helping kids feel like they matter.

Parents asked practical, hard questions about failure, pressure, motivation, and emotional regulation. This episode focuses on finding balance—between support and independence, structure and flexibility, validation and limits.

Questions covered:

Natural consequences vs. stepping in

• Did you rob your child of a lesson by rescuing a forgotten school project?
• How to decide based on context and stakes.

Kids who cheat because they hate losing

• What’s developmentally normal at younger ages.
• When rule-following matters for peer relationships.
• How to address cheating without turning games into power struggles.

Paying kids for good grades

• Does it increase pressure?
• The role of external reinforcement.
• How to use rewards thoughtfully and fade them over time.

When your child says, “I suck at this”

• How to respond to negative self-talk.
• Helping kids move from global self-blame to problem-solving.

The brutal car ride home after a loss

• Why “I loved watching you play” can backfire.
• How to ask what support your teen actually wants.
• Coaching emotional regulation without forcing a conversation.

When schools make failure feel high-stakes

• What to say when mistakes lead to remedial groups or lost electives.
• Supporting your child when systems increase pressure.
• How parents can act as “counterprogramming” to achievement culture.

Key takeaways

• There is rarely one “right” parenting move.
• Kids need both scaffolding and space to struggle.
• Pressure affects children differently.
• Validation doesn’t mean fixing feelings.
• Effort matters more than perfection.

This episode is especially helpful if you’re parenting a child who is sensitive to failure, perfectionistic, or feeling overwhelmed by expectations at school or in sports.

In this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson speaks with Jennifer Wallace, award-winning journalist and author, about her books 'Never Enough' and 'Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose.' They discuss the trajectory of her work, the culture of toxic achievement, and how fostering a sense of mattering can serve as an antidote. Wallace shares research findings on mattering, practical strategies for parents, workplaces, and third spaces, and emphasizes the importance of making others feel valued in everyday interactions. They also explore the impact of parental self-care on creating a healthy environment for children.

Further Reading:

• How to Help Kids Learn to Fail
• Raising Resilient Kids Who Are Prepared for the Future
• How to Model Healthy Coping Skills

Parenting teens can feel confusing, hurtful, and exhausting — especially when connection starts to slip.

In this Thriving Kids Q&A episode from the Child Mind Institute, Dr. Dave Anderson answers real questions from parents about staying connected to teenagers during adolescence.

He covers:

• Why teens can be warm and talkative with other adults but distant at home
• How memes, TikToks, and inside jokes still count as real connection
• How to prepare teens for college and independence without constant conflict
• What to do when defiance and power struggles escalate
• How to respond when teens self-diagnose ADHD or other mental health conditions online

This episode focuses on relationship-first parenting, clear boundaries, and helping teens feel understood — so they’re more likely to come to you when it really matters.

Further reading

• Help! My Teen Stopped Talking to Me
• Tips for Communicating With Your Teen
• Parenting a Defiant Teen: Expert Tips

Parenting a teen can feel like walking on eggshells. Conversations turn into conflict. Teens pull away. Parents are left wondering how to stay connected without giving up boundaries.

In this episode of the Thriving Kids Podcast, Dr. Dave Anderson is joined by pediatric psychologist Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart to talk about what actually helps build a stronger, healthier relationship with your teen — even during tough moments.

They discuss:
• Why teens push back and pull away during adolescence
• What real connection with teens looks like (and what it doesn’t)
• How to set limits without damaging trust
• Common parenting mistakes that increase power struggles
• How to stay grounded when emotions run high
• Practical ways to rebuild connection after conflict

This conversation focuses on realistic, evidence-based strategies parents can use to improve communication, reduce tension, and strengthen trust — without trying to control or fix their teen.

Hosted by clinicians from the Child Mind Institute, the Thriving Kids Podcast offers expert guidance for parents raising emotionally healthy, resilient kids and teens.

For more parenting tools and mental health resources, visit childmind.org.

⸻

Related Child Mind Institute Articles

Tips for Communicating With Your Teen
https://childmind.org/article/tips-communicating-with-teen

Help! My Teen Stopped Talking to Me
https://childmind.org/article/help-my-teen-stopped-talking-to-me/

How to Help Kids Have Healthy Romantic Relationships
https://childmind.org/article/how-to-help-kids-have-good-romantic-relationships/

How to Help Your Teen Through a Breakup
https://childmind.org/article/how-to-help-your-teen-through-a-breakup/

10 Tips for Parenting Your Pre-Teen
https://childmind.org/article/10-tips-for-parenting-your-pre-teen/

Tweens, Teens, and Young Adults Resources
https://childmind.org/topics/teens-young-adults/

How do you talk to kids about the hard stuff — without making their worries worse?

In this Thriving Kids Podcast Q&A episode, Dr. Dave Anderson answers real questions from parents about how to talk with kids and teens about difficult, emotionally loaded topics in calm, developmentally appropriate ways.

Drawing on clinical experience from his work at the Child Mind Institute, Dr. Anderson walks through what helps — and what often backfires — when kids ask about scary news, big life fears, or sensitive issues at home.

Topics covered in this episode include:

• Talking to kids about anxiety, disasters, and frightening news
• Helping children cope with worries about climate change
• Supporting kids dealing with unkind friends or social rejection
• How to respond when kids fear losing a parent
• Discussing financial stress without passing on adult worry
• How to talk about suicide safely and openly
• Explaining substance use and addiction in age-appropriate ways

Throughout the episode, Dr. Anderson emphasizes validation, honesty, emotional regulation, and keeping conversations open — even when a parent feels they didn’t handle a moment perfectly the first time.

Related Articles & Resources

• Helping Children Cope With Frightening News
• Kids and Climate Anxiety
• Big Talks: How to Have Important Conversations With Kids
• Parents Guide to Problem Behavior
• Tips for Communicating With Kids
• Parents Guide to Substance Use and Mental Health
• Anxiety Resources for Kids and Teens
• Supporting vs. Enabling a Child With Challenges