Why has the phrase “toxic masculinity” become so triggering?

In this episode of This Triggers Me, Dr Audra Horney (a therapist for men) and Dr. Brendan K. Hartman (a sociologist who researches the emotional well being of boys) unpack why “toxic masculinity” is such a loaded and often counterproductive term. They explore how masculinity itself isn’t the problem, but how restrictive, rigid expectations can negatively impact men’s wellbeing, relationships, and emotional lives. Through cultural, psychological, and relational lenses, they reframe masculinity as something complex capable of both harm and growth.

Key takeaways:

• Why the term “toxic masculinity” often triggers defensiveness and derails meaningful dialogue
• The difference between masculinity and restrictive masculinity
• How emotional suppression, hyper-independence, and dominance impact men’s mental health
• Three lenses of masculinity: biological, social, and spiritual
• How cultural definitions of masculinity evolve over time (e.g., cowboys, provider/protector roles)
• The concept of “threatened masculinity” and how men respond when identity feels challenged
• How emotional intelligence (like RULER skills) can help men
• The importance of community, connection, and a healthier relationship with power
• How masculinity can be both empowering and harmful and why owning that complexity matters

Connect with us

Email- thistriggersmepodcast@gmail.com

Social media- https://www.instagram.com/dr.audra.horney/

Looking for a therapist for men? Visit Dr. Audra's global directory: www.draudra.com"

https://www.instagram.com/re.masculine/

https://www.instagram.com/thistriggersmepod/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thistriggersmepod

Podcast post-production credit to Stacy Blackburn

Is empathy for men dangerous or is the real danger what happens when empathy is withheld?

In this episode of This Triggers Me, a psychologist specialized in therapy for men and a sociologist focused on men and boy’s wellbeing take on one of the most polarizing questions about gender dynamics. They explore the tension between empathy and accountability, challenge the fear that supporting men’s mental health enables harm, and unpack how dehumanization fuels division. Through real life examples and psychological frameworks, they examine what it actually looks like to hold both compassion and responsibility at the same time.

Key takeaways:

• Why empathy for men is often seen as controversial
• The difference between empathy and excusing harmful behavior
• How dehumanization (not empathy) is what drives anger and division
• The “trauma triangle” (victim, villain, hero) and how it shows up in conflict
• How triggers and shame keep people stuck in reactive roles
• The impact of polarization in conversations around the male loneliness epidemic and men’s mental health
• Common themes in men’s therapy, including self loathing and difficulty with self compassion
• Why many men deeply want emotional closeness but struggle to access it
• How validating and witnessing pain can reduce defensiveness, anger, and disconnection

Connect with us

Email- thistriggersmepodcast@gmail.com

Social media- https://www.instagram.com/dr.audra.horney/

Looking for a therapist for men? Visit Dr. Audra's global directory: www.draudra.com"

https://www.instagram.com/re.masculine/

https://www.instagram.com/thistriggersmepod/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thistriggersmepod

Podcast post-production credit to Stacy Blackburn

What if the things that “trigger” us are actually the doorway to heal and connect?

In this first episode of This Triggers Me, licensed psychologist Dr. Audra Horney (therapist for men) and Dr. Brendan K Hartman (sociologist focused on boys’ and men’s social emotional wellbeing), unpack why they’re creating a podcast that leans into discomfort instead of avoiding it. From the realities of modern masculinity to the resistance many men feel toward therapy, this conversation sets the tone for deeper, more honest dialogue.

Key takeaways:

• Why avoiding triggers can actually make emotional reactions worse and what to do instead
• The current cultural polarization around masculinity and gender
• How boys and men are often socialized into emotional restriction
• The role of loneliness in men’s mental health today
• Common barriers and misconceptions around men’s therapy
• Why men may struggle to ask for guidance or support
• Foundational concepts like the window of tolerance and stress responses (fight, flight, freeze, fawn)
• How to approach difficult conversations with more curiosity and accountability

Connect with us

Email- thistriggersmepodcast@gmail.com

Social media- https://www.instagram.com/dr.audra.horney/

https://www.instagram.com/re.masculine/

https://www.instagram.com/thistriggersmepod/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thistriggersmepod

Podcast post-production credit to Stacy Blackburn