Why has the phrase “toxic masculinity” become so triggering?

In this episode of This Triggers Me, Dr Audra Horney (a therapist for men) and Dr. Brendan K. Hartman (a sociologist who researches the emotional well being of boys) unpack why “toxic masculinity” is such a loaded and often counterproductive term. They explore how masculinity itself isn’t the problem, but how restrictive, rigid expectations can negatively impact men’s wellbeing, relationships, and emotional lives. Through cultural, psychological, and relational lenses, they reframe masculinity as something complex capable of both harm and growth.

Key takeaways:

• Why the term “toxic masculinity” often triggers defensiveness and derails meaningful dialogue
• The difference between masculinity and restrictive masculinity
• How emotional suppression, hyper-independence, and dominance impact men’s mental health
• Three lenses of masculinity: biological, social, and spiritual
• How cultural definitions of masculinity evolve over time (e.g., cowboys, provider/protector roles)
• The concept of “threatened masculinity” and how men respond when identity feels challenged
• How emotional intelligence (like RULER skills) can help men
• The importance of community, connection, and a healthier relationship with power
• How masculinity can be both empowering and harmful and why owning that complexity matters

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Podcast post-production credit to Stacy Blackburn