This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about the four F's: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss the four threat responses and how to move through tough situations and face what's in front of us. This episode is for anyone who feels trapped by their reactions or is left feeling overwhelmed by stressful situations. These responses are what make us human; it is better to embrace them and face them rather than become ruled by them.

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

• Simon Paluck - Host
• Jake Ernst - Host

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's a long overdue convo about the two most essential skills in relationships. In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss a statistic about emotional availability: on average, we are only emotionally available for our partners about 9% of the time. With that in mind, they discuss how to get closer to the 9% using the two essential skills of attunement and repair. Throughout the episode, they discuss how to implement these skills through the development of micro-skills.

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

• Simon Paluck - Host
• Jake Ernst - Host

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about one of the things that robs kids of a care-free childhood: being parentified. When kids are forced to grow up too soon and become adults in childhood, kids can take on adult-like responsibilities and burdens. In this episode, we talk about the difference between healthy responsibility for kids and parentification and talk about the impact of having childhood stolen from us and being burdened before we're developmentally ready.

Article: Were you a ‘parentified child’? What happens when children have to behave like adults By Nivida Chandra

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

• Simon Paluck - Host
• Jake Ernst - Host

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about parasocial relationships; the one-sided emotional connections we have with casual acquaintances, people we "know" online, characters we watch in television and movies, and people we admire from afar. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about some examples from pop culture, such as Chappell Roan's desire to set boundaries as a celebrity and Sabrina Carpenter's previous relationship. In addition, they pull examples from two articles to answer one curious question: Have we reached Peak Parasocial?

Article 1: In a Celebrity-Obsessed World, Have We Reached Peak Parasocial? By Anna Cafolla

Article 2: What are parasocial relationships doing to our brains? By Allegra Rosenberg

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

• Simon Paluck - Host
• Jake Ernst - Host

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This isn’t therapy… it’s part three in our series about the war on human connection. In this episode, we talk about how overwhelming people with tragic and distressing information about the world leads to a decline in empathy. Jake and Simon discuss how a decline in rates of empathy affect our ability to practice perspective taking and experience empathic concern.

Article: Empathy Is Dying And So Are We by Rita Jabbour

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

• Simon Paluck - Host
• Jake Ernst - Host

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's a follow up to last week's episode about the attention wars. In this episode, we explore the concept of "agree to disagree" and how there seems to be a war of opinions playing out in our culture. Is it really possible to find common ground when opinions clash? We discuss strategies for navigating disagreements and the key differences between opinion-based and values-based conflicts. Can we respectfully acknowledge opposing views, or does disagreement signal a deeper divide?

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

• Simon Paluck - Host
• Jake Ernst - Host

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's a frank discussion about the "attention economy"—where companies compete to capture our focus to sell us products. We break down the difference between attention, focus, and concentration, and examine how the constant battle for our attention impacts our mental health, productivity, and relationships. We discuss the hidden costs of a world where attention is monetized, and how we can reclaim control in this distraction-driven landscape.

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

• Simon Paluck - Host
• Jake Ernst - Host

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's our *encore* eppy from our first episode BACKKKK (from last year!!) This week, we're talking about why finding hope can often feel so hopeless in hopeless in times. We peel back the curtain on an article from The New Yorker called "Do you have hope?" which looks at the ways hope can live alongside despair, pain, and grief. We discuss what hope is, how hope can be active or passive, and how to use active forms of hope as a way of coping with challenging times and taking effective action on your goals.

Article: Do you have hope? By Joshua Rothman

Creators & Guests

• Simon Paluck - Host
• Jake Ernst - Host

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.