This Is Not What I Had Planned

Here's your podcast summary in the established format:

Ever wondered what questions you can and can't ask about trans people? In this episode, Connor and Carolyn tackle the most common FAQs they get asked - from bathroom etiquette to dead names, from medical costs to finding good doctors.

They share honest answers about the practicalities: what happens when you use the wrong pronouns (spoiler: you won't go to jail), how to handle running into old friends, and whether you need medical treatment to "qualify" as trans. Plus, they dive into the trickier territory of enjoying art from problematic creators and why punching down isn't actually funny.

Quick Wisdom

If you're curious about trans people: Ask yourself if it's actually your business first. Some questions (like dead names) are generally off-limits, whilst others depend on your relationship and the setting. When in doubt, follow their lead and remember that trans people are just trying to live their lives like everyone else.

If you're supporting someone who's trans: You will mess up pronouns sometimes - just apologise briefly and move on without making it about you. Focus on finding community resources and trust your gut when choosing healthcare providers. And remember, whether someone's trans identity is "just a phase" doesn't matter - supporting them always does.

Need support? Here are some great Australian resources:

• Open Doors Youth Service (Brisbane): https://opendoors.net.au - includes Jelly Beans support group for trans people
• Rainbow Health Australia: https://rainbowhealthaustralia.org.au/research-resources
• Transcend Australia: https://transcendaus.org
• PFLAG Australia: https://pflagaustralia.org.au (for families and friends)
• Switchboard Victoria: https://switchboard.org.au (national LGBTIQA+ helpline)

Running time: 33 minutes

Connor and his mum Carolyn dive deep into the medical side of transitioning, sharing their real experience navigating hormone blockers, testosterone, and top surgery from ages 15-18. They discuss the practical realities - from choosing between pills and injections to finding the right GP - whilst also tackling the recent Queensland legislation changes that have made access harder for young people.

This episode offers an honest look at what the medical transition process actually involves: the waiting lists, the documentation, the reversible and irreversible aspects, and how to build a support team that truly understands. Whether you're just starting to consider medical transition or you're supporting someone who is, their insights provide practical guidance for navigating this complex but ultimately rewarding journey.

Quick wisdom

If you're considering medical transition: Create a clear plan of your priorities - what effects do you want and in what order? Research your options thoroughly, get your name on waiting lists early (you can always slow things down but speeding up is harder), and remember that flexibility is key as your needs may evolve.

If you're a parent: The process is gentler than you might expect, with reversible options like hormone blockers allowing time to settle into each stage. Find healthcare providers who care about your whole family - the right support makes all the difference. Don't be afraid to seek legal advice if needed for parental consent issues.

Need support?

Essential resources and links:

• Rainbow Health Australia resources: https://rainbowhealthaustralia.org.au/research-resources
• Queensland Children's Gender Service: Phone 07 3069 7377, Email CHQ-Gender@health.qld.gov.au
• Royal Brisbane & Women's Hospital Gender Service (18+): Phone 07 3646 3357
• Open Doors Youth Service Brisbane: https://www.opendoors.net.au/ (for Jelly Beans trans teen group and LGBTIQ+ youth support)
• Holdsworth House Medical Centre, Fortitude Valley (Dr Reece Young)
• Australian Professional Association for Trans Health (AusPATH): https://auspath.org.au/
• PFLAG+ Australia (Parents, Families, Friends): https://pflagaustralia.org.au/
• PFLAG+ Brisbane: https://www.pflagbrisbane.org.au/
• LGBTIQ+ Health Australia: https://www.lgbtiqhealth.org.au/
• Minus18 (LGBTQ+ youth support): https://www.minus18.org.au/
• Transcend Australia (parent-led support network)
• QLife (LGBTI peer telephone and webchat support): 1800 184 527

Running time: 36 mins

Ever worried about whether your trans child will find love and happiness in relationships? The world can be a cruel place, so what can you do to make it better? In this episode, Connor and his mum Carolyn dive into the realities of dating and relationships as a trans person - from finding safe spaces to navigating when and how to share your identity with potential partners.

They explore how Connor's generation has created their own support networks, why many trans people seek each other out for relationships, and the importance of self-love before looking for romantic love. Plus, they tackle the age-old parental worry about grandchildren and why your child's life choices aren't actually about you.

Quick Wisdom

If you're trans and dating: Focus on loving yourself first - if you can't see your own worth, you won't believe others when they tell you they love you. Take time to work out what you actually want from a relationship versus what you think you need for validation.

If you're a parent: Your child's relationship status and decisions about having children aren't about you. Stay open, available, and non-judgemental. The more stable love they feel at home, the less desperately they'll seek it elsewhere. And remember - trans relationships are just like any other relationships, complete with the usual ups and downs.

Need support? This list of resources from Rainbow Health Australia is a great place to start: https://rainbowhealthaustralia.org.au/research-resources

Running time: 24 minutes