The Supporting Kindness Podcast Episode 13 – Holiday Stress! Hosts: Greg • Rich • Derek • Liam Episode Overview The holidays are often sold as “cozy lights and warm connections,” but for many people, this time of year is complicated, heavy, and sometimes painful. In this episode, Greg and co-hosts Rich, Derek, and Liam talk openly about the hidden side of the holidays: anxiety, family tension, substance use, money stress, loneliness, and the pressure to “be cheerful” when you’re barely holding it together. They share personal stories, name common holiday triggers, and offer simple, practical tools to help you get through the season with more kindness toward yourself—whether that looks like taking grounding breaths in your car, stepping away to the bathroom to reset, breaking the ice with a family member, or planning an early exit with a safe word. This is a compassionate, honest conversation for anyone who feels like the holidays are “supposed to” be joyful but often hurt instead. Main Themes & Key Topics The gap between holiday expectations and realityHow crowds, travel, and routine changes affect anxiety and moodMoney stress, shame, and “not doing enough”Family dynamics, estrangement, and painful historySubstance use, “pre-gaming,” and relapse triggersLoneliness, isolation, and feeling left outSimple, actionable coping tools for holiday gatheringsBoundaries, planned exits, and saying no without guiltGrounding items and strategies to stay present and safe Notable Quotes & Observations by Each Host Greg – Naming the Hidden Holiday Struggles Greg opens the episode by validating the quiet pain a lot of people feel this time of year but rarely say out loud. “For some people, the holiday season is cozy lights, warm connections, and beloved traditions. But for many people, it feels very different. It's a tight chest when you enter a crowded mall… anxiety before a family gathering that has complicated dynamics… or quiet hurried loneliness when everyone else seems to have plans and you do not.” Key points from Greg: Acknowledges multiple layers of holiday stress: crowds, money pressure, travel, family dynamics, loneliness, and mental health struggles like depression, anxiety, self-harm urges, and suicidal thoughts. Challenges the myth that “everyone else” is enjoying perfect holidays: You might be thinking: “Everyone else can do this, so why can't I?” Normalizes struggle: “If you are struggling, you're not broken and you're definitely not alone.” Highlights practical tools they’ll cover: Breathing exercisesPlanned exits and leaving earlySafe words with friends or partnersComfort items (stress balls, noise-canceling headphones, photos, etc.)Saying “no” without guilt Key observation: The goal isn’t to make the season seem darker, but to be honest about what many people quietly go through and offer support rather than shame. Rich – Anxiety, Crowds, Travel, and Turning to Substances Rich speaks candidly about how the structure of the holidays collides with his anxiety and need for routine. “For me, it's definitely in crowds, travel disruptions, around routine, and just my need to do grounding exercises to handle that.” Key points from Rich: Crowds and overstimulation: New people and crowded environments are particularly hard for him. Travel and disrupted routines: Long drives, airports, and visiting people interfere with: Sleep and scheduleDietMedicationCaffeine intake Those disruptions make the holidays more stressful than they appear from the outside. Perceived pressure to act differently: He feels there’s a social expectation to “show up” in a certain way during the holidays, even if he’s not sure how universal it is.As a parent, he tries not to pass that pressure onto his kids. Substances as a “solution” to anxiety: “I've realized that I even turn to prescription medications… it doesn't matter what it is, I turn to substances to solve my problems.” He relates to: “Preemptive” use before gatheringsUsing both prescribed medications and other substances as a way to get ready for social situations. Practical tool – breathing as a reset: “All I needed to do was some breathing exercises… a couple deep inhales, count to five, few exhales, and just ground myself.” He shares an example of nearly bailing on a holiday gathering, but taking a few moments to: Breathe deeplyGround himselfRemind himself where he was and what was happening Doing that allowed him to attend and actually enjoy the event. Derek – Family Rituals, Vices, and Strategic “Bathroom Breaks” Derek reflects on how holiday rituals in his family were shaped around his mother’s emotional state and how coping patterns formed around that. “It was all based around how she was, what she was wanting and how she was feeling and what would help her ease the pain or heightened anxiety or stress of the holidays. And then the rest of us would ...
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