A few years ago, I did something that most people would probably say is a terrible idea: I invited one of my online trolls onto a Zoom video chat.

You may have heard a version of this story in one of my TEDx talks, but on this episode of The Real Stuff, I’m telling the full, unfiltered version (including ACTUAL audio from the call itself). I went back and listened to the 44-minute recording of our call and what I noticed five years later honestly surprised me.

This woman had been leaving aggressive, deeply personal comments on my page about my body, my work, and my life. Instead of blocking her, I messaged her. And instead of escalating, she agreed to talk. What happened next was complicated.

In this episode, I walk you through:

• What it actually feels like to confront someone who publicly criticizes you
• The psychology behind online hate (and what I learned about jealousy and comparison)
• The moment she broke down and told me what was really going on in her life
• Why I don’t believe most trolls are actually “evil”
• How this experience changed the way I handle negativity on the internet
• And why, five years later, I feel protective over the younger version of myself who took that call

I also share how my perspective has evolved — from feeling afraid of being disliked to realizing it’s not my job to make everyone like me.

This is a story about boundaries, compassion, ego, jealousy, and the strange difference between how people behave online versus face-to-face. And yes… I do even include some actual audio from the Zoom call.

Sponsors:

Wedderspoon: Go to https://wedderspoon.com/discount/REAL20 for 20% off your order.

Ritual: For a limited time, save 40% on your first month at Ritual.com/REALSTUFF

Vuori: Get 20% off your first order at Vuori.com/REALSTUFF

Bird&Be: Visit birdandbe.com and use code REALSTUFF for 15% off your first purchase.

Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjmevEcbh5h5FEX0pazPEtN86t7eb2OgX

To apply to be a guest on the show, visit luciefink.com/apply and send us your story.

I also want to extend a special thank you to East Love for the show's theme song, Rolling Stone.

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstuffpod

Find Lucie here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciebfink/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@luciebfink

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciebfink

Website: https://luciefink.com/

Subscribe to my free newsletter "The Lucie List" here: https://thelucielist.beehiiv.com/subscribe

Subscribe to "The Creator Confidential": http://www.luciefink.com/confidential

Executive Producer: Cloud10

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

For 11 years, I didn’t have a real menstrual cycle.

I was on hormonal birth control from my teenage years into adulthood, and while it did exactly what it was supposed to do, it also meant I wasn’t ovulating, wasn’t having a normal menstrual cycle, and wasn’t exactly aware of how deeply hormones shape my energy, creativity, mood, libido, and even my confidence.

In this episode, I’m expanding on a recent newsletter I shared and walking you through what I learned when my natural cycle finally came back. I break down the four phases of the menstrual cycle, what’s actually happening hormonally for me in each phase, and how those shifts show up for me physically, emotionally, and creatively in my work. I also share how tracking my cycle changed the way I plan my life and manage my energy, and also stopped me from spiraling every month when motivation or confidence dip.

This is not an anti–birth control episode. The pill is an incredible tool for so many people, and everyone’s bodies and needs are different. This is simply my personal experience of reconnecting with my cycle and the unexpected sense of trust, peace, and empowerment that came from finally understanding my body’s rhythms.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re “bad at routines,” inconsistent, unmotivated out of nowhere, or confused by sudden shifts in how you feel, you’re not broken. You’re cyclical. And there’s wisdom in that.

Sponsors:

Bayer: Check out Bayer's trusted lineup of products, available at Walmart, CVS, Amazon, and Walgreens.

Wedderspoon: Go to https://wedderspoon.com/discount/REAL20 for 20% off your order.

Vuori: Get 20% off your first order at Vuori.com/REALSTUFF

Magnetic Me: New customers get 15% off at MagneticMe.com

Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjmevEcbh5h5FEX0pazPEtN86t7eb2OgX

To apply to be a guest on the show, visit luciefink.com/apply and send us your story.

I also want to extend a special thank you to East Love for the show's theme song, Rolling Stone.

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstuffpod

Find Lucie here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciebfink/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@luciebfink

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciebfink

Website: https://luciefink.com/

Subscribe to my free newsletter "The Lucie List" here: https://thelucielist.beehiiv.com/subscribe

Subscribe to "The Creator Confidential": http://www.luciefink.com/confidential

Executive Producer: Cloud10

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode, I’m finally telling the full story of the spiritual experience that changed my personality and my entire approach to life. It’s the story of a dream I had about my late “Uncle” Donald — a man who wasn’t biologically related to me, but who was woven into the fabric of my family and my life in a way that’s hard to put into words. He was my parents’ best friend, the person who introduced them to one another, and someone who felt just as much like family as any blood relative.

After he passed away suddenly in 2011, something happened that completely changed the way I understand the world. The night of his funeral, I had a dream that felt different from any dream I’d ever had before — one that has stuck with me more than a decade later.

In this episode, I talk about that dream, the strange and meaningful signs that followed, and why I believe he stayed with me (and my family) for a decade after he passed. I share how those signs showed up at major moments in my life — my career, my wedding, becoming a mother — and how they continue to shape the way I move through the world today.

This story touches on loss, spirituality, dreams, and the ways we stay connected to the people we love, even after they’re gone. I know this kind of story isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay. But for me, it’s brought comfort, peace, and a deeper sense of connection to life itself.

If you’ve ever lost someone and wished for a sign, or wondered whether the people we love ever really leave us, I hope this episode resonates with you.

Thank you for being here and letting me share this part of my story.

Sponsors:

Bird&Be: Visit birdandbe.com and use code REALSTUFF for 15% off your first purchase.

Laundry Sauce: Get 20% off your entire order at Laundry Sauce with code REALSTUFF at laundrysauce.com/REALSTUFF

Pique: Unlock 20% off and begin your journey toward sustained wellness today at Piquelife.com/REALSTUFF

SKIMS: Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com/realstuff

Bayer: Check out Bayer's trusted lineup of products, available at Walmart, CVS, Amazon, and Walgreens.

Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjmevEcbh5h5FEX0pazPEtN86t7eb2OgX

To apply to be a guest on the show, visit luciefink.com/apply and send us your story.

I also want to extend a special thank you to East Love for the show's theme song, Rolling Stone.

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstuffpod

Find Lucie here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciebfink/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@luciebfink

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciebfink

Website: https://luciefink.com/

Subscribe to my free newsletter "The Lucie List" here: https://thelucielist.beehiiv.com/subscribe

Subscribe to "The Creator Confidential": http://www.luciefink.com/confidential

Executive Producer: Cloud10

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.