The Power of Turning Inward: How Focusing on What You Can Control Brings Peace

In today’s episode, we dive into the transformative practice of shifting your energy away from the uncontrollable and toward what you can control. When life feels overwhelming, this simple but powerful mindset can bring clarity, resilience, and inner peace.

You’ll learn practical strategies rooted in psychology, mindfulness, and evidence-based therapies that help you regulate emotions, set boundaries, and reduce stress. With real-world examples—from workplace challenges to parenting struggles—you’ll walk away with tools you can start using today to feel calmer, stronger, and more in control.

• Why focusing on what you can control reduces stress and improves resilience

• The science behind locus of control and why it shapes your well-being

• How stress appraisal and mindfulness practices rewire your response to challenges

• Practical CBT and ACT techniques to shift unhelpful thoughts and take values-driven action

• The role of boundaries in protecting energy and preventing burnout

• Real-life examples for applying these strategies at work, at home, and in relationships

• A simple 7-day reset to start reclaiming your peace and agency

• Peace doesn’t come from controlling everything—it comes from focusing on your influence.

• Small, consistent actions build confidence, mastery, and resilience.

• Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re gates that protect your energy and values.

• Your attention is your first lever of control—choose where you place it wisely.

Grab your free workbook https://powerofpeacefulness.com

The Power of Peacefulness Podcast

Episode Title: Why Am I So Defensive? Understanding the Roots and Choosing a Better Response

Episode Summary:
In this insightful episode of The Power of Peacefulness Podcast, we explore the hidden forces behind defensiveness—why it happens, how it shows up, and what you can do to shift from automatic reactions to conscious, connected responses.

Host Sharon McLaughlin, MD, unpacks the biological wiring of the brain, the psychological roots from early experiences, and the role of core beliefs in triggering defensive reactions. Together, we examine practical, evidence-based strategies to move past knee-jerk responses and into deeper understanding, trust, and self-compassion.

If you’ve ever found yourself replaying an argument and wondering, “Why did I react like that?”, this episode is for you.

• The brain science behind the amygdala hijack and why it’s built for speed over accuracy

• How core beliefs and self-esteem levels influence your sensitivity to criticism

• The link between attachment styles and defensive communication patterns

• Common ways defensiveness shows up in daily life—from blaming to stonewalling

• Four actionable steps to pause, respond consciously, and build stronger connections

[00:00] – Welcome & introduction to cultivating inner peace
[02:15] – Why certain comments feel so personal and trigger big emotions
[04:30] – The amygdala hijack: what’s happening in your brain during defensiveness
[07:10] – Speed over accuracy: why your brain overreacts to minor threats
[09:25] – Core beliefs and the “sensitivity dial” for criticism
[12:05] – Self-esteem vs. self-compassion: which builds lasting resilience
[14:50] – Attachment theory and early relationship patterns that shape defensiveness
[18:30] – Common defensive behaviors: reacting to criticism, anger, blaming, making excuses, shutting down
[25:15] – Four-step process to dismantle defensive armor:

1. Pause

2. Get curious, not furious

3. Find the kernel of truth

4. Practice accountable language
   [38:45] – Rewriting old neural pathways through small daily choices
   [41:20] – Closing thoughts and encouragement to embrace discomfort for growth

• 📘 Free Workbook: Reclaiming Your Inner Peace — Download at powerofpeacefulness.com

• Dr. Kristen Neff’s work on Self-Compassion

• John Bowlby’s research on Attachment Theory

• Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence

If this episode resonated with you, subscribe to The Power of Peacefulness Podcast so you never miss an inspiring conversation.
💬 Share this episode with someone who’s ready to improve their communication and emotional resilience.
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What You’ll Learn in This EpisodeTimestampsResources & Links MentionedSubscribe & Review

#Defensiveness #WhyAmISoDefensive #EmotionalResilience #SelfCompassion #EmotionalIntelligence #CommunicationSkills #MindfulCommunication #PersonalGrowth #EmotionalTriggers #NeuroscienceOfEmotions #AttachmentTheory #ManagingCriticism #ConflictResolution #StopBeingDefensive #PsychologicalWellness #RelationshipCommunication #InnerPeace #SelfAwareness #ProfessionalWomen #MentalWellness

Bad Work Ethic

In this episode, we take a deep dive into the surprising and significant costs of a poor work ethic. We go beyond surface-level assumptions to explore the real impact on productivity, morale, and overall well-being in the workplace. We discuss the tangible losses, such as reduced output and efficiency, as well as the intangible costs, like the erosion of team spirit and job satisfaction. We also explore proactive strategies for addressing these issues and fostering a culture of responsibility and ownership.

• The multiplier effect of a poor work ethic on team productivity.

• The hidden costs of increased errors and rework.

• How a lack of commitment can lead to missed deadlines and lost opportunities.

• The impact of a poor work ethic on the morale and well-being of high-performing employees.

• The role of leadership in setting the tone for a strong work ethic.

• Proactive strategies for addressing a poor work ethic, including setting clear expectations, fostering a culture of responsibility, and providing training and development opportunities.

• The importance of addressing underlying issues, such as burnout and disengagement.

• Listen to the full episode for a comprehensive understanding of the costs of a poor work ethic and how to address them.

• Watch the episode on YouTube to see the full discussion and engage with our community in the comments.

• Download our free workbook, "Reclaiming Your Inner Peace," at powerofpeacefulness.com to start your journey toward a more fulfilling life.

• The Costs of Poor Work Ethic: The article that served as the primary source for this episode.

• Barrack and Mount's (1991) research on conscientiousness and wasted time at work: This study highlights the statistical link between conscientiousness and productivity.

• Canac's (2003) research on the cost of poor quality: This research emphasizes the financial impact of a lack of employee engagement and diligence.

• Tom Hane's (2013) study on project management: This study identifies a lack of commitment and accountability as a major reason for project delays and failures.

• Greenberg's (1990) research on organizational justice: This research shows how perceived unfairness in workload distribution can negatively impact morale and job satisfaction.

• Leaky et al.'s (2006) research on negative relationships and lack of trust: This research highlights the impact of these factors on morale and engagement.

• Griffith et al.'s (2000) research on employee turnover: This research confirms that job dissatisfaction and a negative work environment are major drivers of why people quit.

Show NotesIn this episode, you'll learn about:Ready to take the next step?Mentioned in this episode:

Confronting Employee Undermining: A Practical Guide for Leaders

In this episode of the Power of Peacefulness podcast, we dive into the subtle and damaging world of employee undermining. We explore the often-hidden signs of this behavior, its psychological and organizational roots, and provide a clear playbook for addressing it head-on.

• (01:15) What exactly is employee undermining? We define the difference between constructive criticism and deliberate, harmful sabotage.

• (04:30) Why does it happen? We break down the psychological and organizational factors that contribute to this toxic behavior.

• (08:00) How to spot the sneaky signs of undermining, from passive-aggressive actions to a drop in team morale.

• (11:00) The severe consequences of unchecked undermining on leaders, teams, and the entire organization.

• (15:00) A practical playbook for leaders, including specific dialogue examples for confronting the issue directly in one-on-ones.

• (19:30) How to handle undermining that spreads across different departments.

• (22:00) The right way to address an employee with an inflated sense of self-importance without crushing their confidence.

• (25:00) Final thoughts on building a culture of trust and respect where undermining loses its power.

Tired of workplace conflict? This episode provides the tools you need to build a more peaceful and productive team.

Listen now to learn how to identify and combat employee undermining.

Don't forget to grab your free workbook, "Reclaiming Your Inner Peace," at powerofpeacefulness.com.

Tags: Leadership, employee undermining, workplace conflict, management, toxic employees, team morale, professional communication, self-improvement, career, relationships, peacefulness.

The Power of Peacefulness podcast, where we take a whole stack of sources and give you a shortcut to being genuinely well-informed. In this episode, we tackle the difficult and heart-wrenching topic of supporting parents who have lost a child. Using the resource "Comforting Grieving Parents, a Compassionate Guide," we unpack evidence-based insights on what to say, what to avoid, and how to offer comfort without accidentally causing more hurt.

• [0:00] - Introduction to the episode and the topic of parental grief. Acknowledging the profound, world-shattering pain and the indelible mark it leaves on parents.

• [2:06] - Understanding the unique nature of parental grief. This isn't just sadness; it's a fundamental break in identity and a higher risk for prolonged grief, anxiety, and PTSD.

• [4:21] - The complete reorientation of a parent's life. We explore how future milestones become painful reminders and why grieving parents aren't just sad, but are navigating a new, unfamiliar existence.

• [6:16] - The power of presence. The guide emphasizes that the most profound support comes from simply being there. We cover specific examples of sincere condolences that validate the parent’s pain and the child's existence.

• [8:31] - The importance of practical help. We discuss why general offers like "Let me know if there's anything I can do" often fall short and provide concrete, actionable alternatives that remove the burden of decision-making from the grieving parent.

• [10:46] - Acknowledging and remembering the child. We delve into why a grieving parent's deepest fear is that their child will be forgotten. Learn how to share specific memories and the significance of the "continuing bonds" theory.

• [13:01] - Validating feelings and offering consistent support. Grief is not a linear process, and we discuss phrases that give permission for a parent to feel whatever they feel, along with practical ways to offer consistent support for the long haul.

• [14:46] - What NOT to say: Avoiding platitudes and minimizing their loss. We break down why phrases like "They're in a better place" or "You can always have another child" are incredibly hurtful and invalidating.

• [17:21] - The pitfalls of unsolicited advice and problem-solving. Grief is a process to be experienced, not a problem to be fixed. We discuss why comments like "You just need to move on" or "I know how you feel" are counterproductive. We also touch on the "dual process model" of grief.

• [19:01] - The trap of making it about your own feelings or avoiding the topic. Learn why comparing their loss to a personal experience or pretending the loss didn't happen can isolate them further.

• [20:31] - Navigating specific scenarios and long-term support. We break down how to offer effective support in the immediate aftermath, during the deep dive of grief in the first few months, and on anniversaries and holidays.

• [23:01] - The long-term journey of grief. The sharp edges may soften, but the love remains. The importance of continuing to say the child's name, being understanding of resurfacing grief, and respecting the parent's evolving needs without talk of "closure."

• [25:01] - Conclusion and call to action. Final thoughts on leading with empathy and humility, and the immense power of your unwavering presence.

Thank you for joining us on this deep dive into cultivating more peace. If this episode resonated with you, please make sure you subscribe so you never miss an episode.

And if you’re looking for more tools to support your journey, don't forget to download your FREE workbook for reclaiming your inner peace at powerofpeacefulness.com.

Until next time, take a deep breath, embrace the present moment, and continue walking your path to peace.

Mastering the “What Are Your Strengths?” Interview Question: Tell Your Story with Confidence

Episode Summary:
Ever feel stumped when someone asks, "What are your strengths?" You’re not alone—and this question is more powerful than it seems. In today’s episode of The Power of Peacefulness, we’re going beyond the buzzwords and helping you turn this common interview question into a strategic moment of personal branding. Whether you’re job hunting, preparing for a career change, or just looking to gain clarity on what makes you uniquely strong, this deep dive is for you.

You’ll learn how to identify your real strengths, tailor your answer to the role, tell compelling STAR stories with measurable results, and avoid common pitfalls like bragging, rambling, or sounding too generic. By the end, you’ll know how to deliver a confident, authentic answer that leaves a lasting impression—and helps you grow, no matter what stage you're at in your career.

✨ Bonus: This conversation also helps you reframe how you think about your entire career narrative—not just for interviews, but for life.

00:00 – Welcome + Download your free workbook at powerofpeacefulness.com
01:35 – Why “What are your strengths?” matters more than you think
03:40 – What hiring managers are really listening for
06:10 – The importance of tailoring your answer to the job description
08:30 – Reflecting on feedback to uncover your true strengths
10:15 – A tip most people miss: ask others what they notice in you
11:40 – How to use the STAR method to tell strong stories
14:00 – The magic of quantifying your impact with numbers
16:25 – Connecting your strength to the employer’s actual needs
18:00 – Common mistakes to avoid (bragging, rambling, generic lists)
20:35 – Advanced tips: strength clusters, remote work context, and showing growth
24:00 – Examples of strong, well-framed responses (communication, analysis, resourcefulness)
28:00 – Final takeaway: How this question can reshape your entire self-view

• Tailor your answer to the job using the language from the job post.

• Use the STAR method: Situation, Task, Action, Result.

• Quantify your success wherever possible (percentages, numbers, timelines).

• Practice, don’t memorize. Stay natural and conversational.

• Avoid common traps like being too vague or listing generic traits.

• Let your personality and values come through—employers hire people, not lists.

• Don’t underestimate the power of self-reflection and feedback in building your confidence.

🎧 Loved today’s episode?
Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with a friend or colleague who’s preparing for interviews.

🌿 And if you're ready to reconnect with your calm, confident self—grab our free Inner Peace Workbook at powerofpeacefulness.com.

#InterviewTips #CareerGrowth #WhatAreYourStrengths #ProfessionalDevelopment #WomenInLeadership #CareerConfidence #MindfulCareer #PowerOfPeacefulness #PodcastForWomen #STARMethod #JobInterviewAdvice #StrengthBasedInterview #CareerClarity #PersonalBranding

⏱️ Timestamps & Highlights🔥 Key Takeaways📣 Call to Action🔖 Tags and Hashtags

Have you ever looked in the mirror and barely recognized the person staring back? You're not alone. In this heartfelt and practical episode, Sharon explores the often unspoken experience of identity loss—why it happens, what it feels like, and how to find your way back to yourself with intention and grace.

Whether you're navigating a career change, divorce, parenthood, retirement, or illness, this episode offers a deep, evidence-based roadmap for reclaiming your core self. It’s more than just reflection—it’s about real tools for real change.

00:00 – Welcome to the Power of Peacefulness podcast
01:05 – What is identity loss and why does it happen?
04:28 – Major life events that cause identity loss
08:45 – The emotional and psychological impact of identity loss
11:22 – Understanding the science: What research tells us
14:01 – Reconnecting with your core values
18:14 – Narrative identity: Rewriting your story
21:55 – The power of self-compassion in rebuilding identity
25:00 – Somatic practices to reconnect with your body
28:30 – Trying new roles and micro-identities
32:44 – Why community and connection are essential
36:20 – The final stage: Integration and becoming whole
39:50 – A closing reflection and call to action

• The psychology of identity loss and how it affects your sense of self

• Common transitions that unravel identity and leave you feeling lost

• How to rediscover your core values (with practical exercises)

• Narrative strategies to reclaim your story and shift your mindset

• Tools from self-compassion, somatic therapy, and creative expression

• Why trying on “micro-identities” can guide your healing

• The power of community and asking others what they see in you

• How to integrate past, present, and future versions of yourself

✨ Identity loss isn’t the end—it’s an invitation to rebuild who you truly are.
✨ You are not broken; you are in a sacred process of becoming.
✨ Small steps, like journaling or joining a support group, can bring major clarity.
✨ Your truest self has never left—it’s waiting to be remembered.

Download Sharon’s free workbook to help you reclaim your inner peace and begin your journey back to yourself:
👉 powerofpeacefulness.com

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and share it with someone who’s navigating change. It helps others find us—and supports more women in finding peace within.

⏱️ Timestamps🧰 What You’ll Learn💡 Key Takeaways📥 Free Resource🎧 Listen & Subscribe

📌 Podcast: Power of Peacefulness
👩‍⚕️ Host: Sharon McLaughlin, MD, MBA
🔗 Free Resource: Download your free workbook at powerofpeacefulness.com

#identityloss, #reclaimyouridentity, #selfdiscovery, #lifetransitions, #personalgrowth, #mentalhealth, #selfcompassion, #narrativetherapy, #emotionalhealing, #corevalues, #somatichealing, #innerpeace, #womensempowerment, #powerofpeacefulnesspodcast

Office Politics in the Workplace: Navigating Influence with Integrity

📍 Show Notes:

Welcome back to The Power of Peacefulness Podcast—the space where professional women come to reclaim their peace and power through meaningful conversations on career, relationships, and self-improvement.

In today’s episode, we’re diving into a topic many whisper about—but few openly discuss: office politics in the workplace.

You’ve likely felt it—that hidden current beneath the formal org chart. The unspoken rules, the behind-the-scenes alliances, the quiet power plays that shape decisions, opportunities, and culture.

But here’s the truth: trying to avoid office politics completely can cost you more than you think.

✨ In this powerful and practical conversation, we’ll explore:

• What office politics actually is (it’s not always negative!)

• The psychology behind why it exists

• How informal power structures quietly influence success

• Common political archetypes like the Gatekeeper, the Power Broker, and the Saboteur

• How to deal with exclusive inner circles—and break through them with integrity

• What to do when a colleague undermines your work or steals credit

• Strategic, ethical ways to protect your voice and build influence

• How leadership and culture shape the political climate at work

• Why mastering political intelligence is key to thriving—not just surviving

💡 You’ll walk away with a practical “Office Politics Survival Kit” filled with clear action steps to help you lead, grow, and stay grounded in your values—even in the most complex workplace dynamics.

🎁 Mentioned in the Episode:
✨ Download our FREE workbook to reclaim your inner peace: powerofpeacefulness.com

📣 If you found this episode helpful:

• Hit “Follow” so you never miss an episode

• Leave a 5-star review—it helps other women find the show

• Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear it

🧘‍♀️ Until next time, take a deep breath, embrace the present moment, and keep walking your path to peace.

#officepolitics #careerstrategy #professionalwomen #leadershipskills #emotionalintelligence #careerwellness #peacefulproductivity #powerofpeacefulness