The Power of Turning Inward: How Focusing on What You Can Control Brings Peace

In today’s episode, we dive into the transformative practice of shifting your energy away from the uncontrollable and toward what you can control. When life feels overwhelming, this simple but powerful mindset can bring clarity, resilience, and inner peace.

You’ll learn practical strategies rooted in psychology, mindfulness, and evidence-based therapies that help you regulate emotions, set boundaries, and reduce stress. With real-world examples—from workplace challenges to parenting struggles—you’ll walk away with tools you can start using today to feel calmer, stronger, and more in control.

• Why focusing on what you can control reduces stress and improves resilience

• The science behind locus of control and why it shapes your well-being

• How stress appraisal and mindfulness practices rewire your response to challenges

• Practical CBT and ACT techniques to shift unhelpful thoughts and take values-driven action

• The role of boundaries in protecting energy and preventing burnout

• Real-life examples for applying these strategies at work, at home, and in relationships

• A simple 7-day reset to start reclaiming your peace and agency

• Peace doesn’t come from controlling everything—it comes from focusing on your influence.

• Small, consistent actions build confidence, mastery, and resilience.

• Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re gates that protect your energy and values.

• Your attention is your first lever of control—choose where you place it wisely.

Grab your free workbook https://powerofpeacefulness.com

The Power of Peacefulness Podcast

Episode Title: Why Am I So Defensive? Understanding the Roots and Choosing a Better Response

Episode Summary:
In this insightful episode of The Power of Peacefulness Podcast, we explore the hidden forces behind defensiveness—why it happens, how it shows up, and what you can do to shift from automatic reactions to conscious, connected responses.

Host Sharon McLaughlin, MD, unpacks the biological wiring of the brain, the psychological roots from early experiences, and the role of core beliefs in triggering defensive reactions. Together, we examine practical, evidence-based strategies to move past knee-jerk responses and into deeper understanding, trust, and self-compassion.

If you’ve ever found yourself replaying an argument and wondering, “Why did I react like that?”, this episode is for you.

• The brain science behind the amygdala hijack and why it’s built for speed over accuracy

• How core beliefs and self-esteem levels influence your sensitivity to criticism

• The link between attachment styles and defensive communication patterns

• Common ways defensiveness shows up in daily life—from blaming to stonewalling

• Four actionable steps to pause, respond consciously, and build stronger connections

[00:00] – Welcome & introduction to cultivating inner peace
[02:15] – Why certain comments feel so personal and trigger big emotions
[04:30] – The amygdala hijack: what’s happening in your brain during defensiveness
[07:10] – Speed over accuracy: why your brain overreacts to minor threats
[09:25] – Core beliefs and the “sensitivity dial” for criticism
[12:05] – Self-esteem vs. self-compassion: which builds lasting resilience
[14:50] – Attachment theory and early relationship patterns that shape defensiveness
[18:30] – Common defensive behaviors: reacting to criticism, anger, blaming, making excuses, shutting down
[25:15] – Four-step process to dismantle defensive armor:

1. Pause

2. Get curious, not furious

3. Find the kernel of truth

4. Practice accountable language
   [38:45] – Rewriting old neural pathways through small daily choices
   [41:20] – Closing thoughts and encouragement to embrace discomfort for growth

• 📘 Free Workbook: Reclaiming Your Inner Peace — Download at powerofpeacefulness.com

• Dr. Kristen Neff’s work on Self-Compassion

• John Bowlby’s research on Attachment Theory

• Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence

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What You’ll Learn in This EpisodeTimestampsResources & Links MentionedSubscribe & Review

#Defensiveness #WhyAmISoDefensive #EmotionalResilience #SelfCompassion #EmotionalIntelligence #CommunicationSkills #MindfulCommunication #PersonalGrowth #EmotionalTriggers #NeuroscienceOfEmotions #AttachmentTheory #ManagingCriticism #ConflictResolution #StopBeingDefensive #PsychologicalWellness #RelationshipCommunication #InnerPeace #SelfAwareness #ProfessionalWomen #MentalWellness

Bad Work Ethic

In this episode, we take a deep dive into the surprising and significant costs of a poor work ethic. We go beyond surface-level assumptions to explore the real impact on productivity, morale, and overall well-being in the workplace. We discuss the tangible losses, such as reduced output and efficiency, as well as the intangible costs, like the erosion of team spirit and job satisfaction. We also explore proactive strategies for addressing these issues and fostering a culture of responsibility and ownership.

• The multiplier effect of a poor work ethic on team productivity.

• The hidden costs of increased errors and rework.

• How a lack of commitment can lead to missed deadlines and lost opportunities.

• The impact of a poor work ethic on the morale and well-being of high-performing employees.

• The role of leadership in setting the tone for a strong work ethic.

• Proactive strategies for addressing a poor work ethic, including setting clear expectations, fostering a culture of responsibility, and providing training and development opportunities.

• The importance of addressing underlying issues, such as burnout and disengagement.

• Listen to the full episode for a comprehensive understanding of the costs of a poor work ethic and how to address them.

• Watch the episode on YouTube to see the full discussion and engage with our community in the comments.

• Download our free workbook, "Reclaiming Your Inner Peace," at powerofpeacefulness.com to start your journey toward a more fulfilling life.

• The Costs of Poor Work Ethic: The article that served as the primary source for this episode.

• Barrack and Mount's (1991) research on conscientiousness and wasted time at work: This study highlights the statistical link between conscientiousness and productivity.

• Canac's (2003) research on the cost of poor quality: This research emphasizes the financial impact of a lack of employee engagement and diligence.

• Tom Hane's (2013) study on project management: This study identifies a lack of commitment and accountability as a major reason for project delays and failures.

• Greenberg's (1990) research on organizational justice: This research shows how perceived unfairness in workload distribution can negatively impact morale and job satisfaction.

• Leaky et al.'s (2006) research on negative relationships and lack of trust: This research highlights the impact of these factors on morale and engagement.

• Griffith et al.'s (2000) research on employee turnover: This research confirms that job dissatisfaction and a negative work environment are major drivers of why people quit.

Show NotesIn this episode, you'll learn about:Ready to take the next step?Mentioned in this episode: