The Forgiveness Trap: Why "Forgive and Forget" Perpetuates the Very Harm It Claims to Heal

Description: Most people think forgiveness means welcoming harmful people back into your life. Veronica Monet reveals why this approach actually perpetuates cycles of abuse—and what real healing looks like.

Guest Bio: Veronica Monet is a former high-end escort turned therapist and domestic violence counselor. Having survived childhood sexual abuse in what she describes as "a family of pedophiles," she now specializes in Internal Family Systems therapy and helping survivors break generational cycles of trauma. She's the author of the upcoming book "The Pedophile Who Loved Me: My Treacherous Path to True Forgiveness."

Key Topics:

Why religious forgiveness often enables continued abuse

How shame drives harmful behavior underground instead of stopping it

The difference between true forgiveness and dangerous reconciliation

Breaking generational cycles of sexual abuse in families

Internal Family Systems and how trauma creates "split" personalities

Why our approach to pedophiles may be creating more victims

The hidden prevalence of incest in "normal" families

How to heal families and communities without enabling perpetrators

TIMESTAMPS:

[00:00] Intro: Living in Tribes vs. Isolation [02:00] Polyamory as Community Support System

[05:00] The Real Meaning of "Many Loves"

[06:00] From Sex Work to Trauma Therapy

[08:00] "The Pedophile Who Loved Me" - Why the Title Matters [10:00] The Dangerous Side of Religious Forgiveness

[13:00] "Where Does the Misery Stop?" - Generational Trauma

[16:00] Walking the Line Between Compassion and Accountability

[20:00] How Trauma Creates Split Personalities

25:00] Multiple Personalities vs. Sub-Personalities

[31:00] The Soul-Killing Nature of Child Sexual Abuse

[37:00] Creating Safety for People to Come Out of Denial

[42:00] Why Pedophiles Repeat and What We're Missing

[48:00] Education Level and Sexual Abuse Patterns

[52:00] Sex Work Safety vs. Other Professions

[57:00] Why She Wouldn't Recommend Sex Work Today

[1:05:00] Final Message: Healing Requires Treating Perpetrators as People