If you feel like you’ve been doing all the work—working on your mindset, taking action, making real progress… and still feel like something’s missing—this episode is for you.

It might not be that you’re doing the wrong work.
It might be that there’s something deeper you were never taught how to do:

Holding your own presence with warmth.

At the end of the day, this podcast is about mindset, identity, and overcoming the barriers that keep us from building and living a life that’s true to us—not one shaped by fear, avoidance, or others’ expectations.

And while many episodes focus on breaking patterns, rewiring beliefs, and taking aligned action…

...some, like this one, are about helping you bring your whole, integrated, free self into that journey.

That means sometimes we’ll turn to the wisdom of thought leaders and pioneers in emotional healing and human development whose teachings offer the kind of scaffolding we didn’t even know we needed.

In today’s episode, we lean into the wise teachings of Tara Brach on the suffering created by a sense of severed belonging—from ourselves, from each other, from other species, and from this world—and how learning to nurture, both ourselves and others, can serve as the pathway back to belonging and wholeness.

From Tara Brach's website:

Tara Brach, Ph.D., is a spiritual teacher, psychologist, and author of several books including the international bestsellers Radical Acceptance, Radical Compassion, and Trusting the Gold. Her teaching blends Western psychology and Eastern spiritual practices, mindful attention to our inner life, and a dedication to creating a more just, equitable, and loving world. Tara is the founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington. With Jack Kornfield, co-founded Banyan and the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Training Program...

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If this episode gave language to something you’ve been struggling to name—or softened a part of you that’s been holding it all together—consider exploring more of Tara’s work. Her teachings offer the kind of grounded, heart-centered support that can help you return to yourself with compassion, clarity, and care.

If this episode resonated, please consider sharing this podcast, as well as Tara Brach's work. You never know who you may help by doing so.

Inside this episode:

• A full reading of Tara Brach’s blog post: Where Does It Hurt? Healing the Wounds of Severed Belonging (February 26, 2017)
• Reflections from her 2018 talk: Survival of the Nurtured: Our Path to Belonging (Published November 2018)
• A deeper look into the concept of severed belonging
• Why spiritual reparenting might be the thing beneath the thing
• The shift from “fight, flight, freeze” to “attend and befriend”
• What it means to treat your own presence with warm regard
• A reminder that belonging isn’t gone. It’s just been forgotten. And we can remember.

Cited resources:

Tara Brach's website: https://www.tarabrach.com/

• For blog posts, podcast + talk archives + guided meditations + courses + books

Quotes:

We are not the survival of the fittest. We are the survival of the nurtured.” - Louis Cozolino

“To love someone is to learn the song in their heart and to sing it to them when they have forgotten.” - Arne Garborg

For 1:1 Coaching with Kari:

• Click here to book a free 90-minute, deep-dive coaching call
• Connect on Instagram

You’ve always been affirming something—whether you realized it or not.

In this episode, I explore why affirmations can feel cringey to some and grounding to others—and how much of that has to do with language, not logic. I break down the connection between affirmations and self-talk, the neuroscience of repetition and identity, and why most of us have been unintentionally affirming negative beliefs for years.

I also guide you through a fun, visual, spy-movie-style exercise to help rewire what your brain is filtering for—so you can start aligning your self-talk with who you truly are. This isn’t about becoming someone new, per se. It’s about syncing with the version of you that’s already in "your file."

Key Topics Covered

• What affirmations really are—and why they’ve been misunderstood
• The connection between negative self-talk and negative affirmation
• Louise Hay’s legacy and the present-tense “I am” structure
• Why your brain filters reality based on what it’s told to find (RAS)
• The left-turn / right-turn metaphor as a model for identity redirection
• The spy movie visual: why pulling your “file” matters psychologically
• How to use emotion, repetition, and intention to build new beliefs

Takeaways

• If you’ve been repeating it with emotion and conviction, it’s an affirmation.
• Resistance to positive affirmations often comes from the label—not the process.
• Your brain is already affirming something. The difference is whether you’re choosing it.
• You’ve been making left turns unconsciously—right turns are just as available.
• The RAS follows the directive you give it. You get to tell your brain what to look for.
• Visual exercises (like the “agent stat screen”) help bypass dissonance and let you experience change—on an embodied level.

What To Do Next:

• Share this episode with someone who’s outgrown their old file.
• Leave a rating or review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts to help others find the show.
• Listen to Episode 102 with endurance runner, teacher, and mental health advocate Casey Stillwagon—founder of @Run5555km. Learn the personal story behind his mission to run 5,555 kilometers, the heart behind the mantra Stronger Every Stride, and how you can set your own goal and join the movement by tagging your runs with #StrongerEveryStride, #Run5555km, and @Run5555km.
• Every mile counts. Every step counts. Every person matters. Thank you for listening.

Cited In This Episode:

Louise Hay

Muppets Most Wanted (Clip - Constantine Uncovered)
Mission Impossible (Ethan Hunt)
The Bourne Identity (Jason Bourne)
Alias (Sydney Bristow)

For 1:1 Coaching with Kari:

• Click here to book a free 90-minute, deep-dive coaching call
• Connect on Instagram

Casey Stillwagon is a teacher, ultrarunner, and mental health advocate based in Tokyo, Japan, and the human behind the uplifting Instagram account @Run5555km.

Along with the mantra, Stronger Every Stride, Casey shares messages of hope, self-compassion, and quiet resilience to remind others, especially those struggling, of the inner strength we all carry.

Earlier this year, Casey launched a personal challenge: to run 5,555 kilometers in one year. The number 5, as you’ll hear, carries special meaning.

But the goal is about more than distance or personal achievement.

It’s about sharing the message that we can all grow stronger, physically, mentally, and emotionally, one stride at a time.

Casey has completed several endurance races, including the Fuji 5 Lakes Ultra and, most recently, the Fuji 3 Lakes Ultra Marathon, and is now quietly training for his ultimate goal: Japan’s largest 100-mile trail race, the Mt. Fuji 100.

Running hasn’t just strengthened his body and mindset — it has transformed his life. It became a healthy outlet for coping, processing, and navigating life’s challenges. It helped him quit smoking while in the Navy, achieve three years of sobriety, and continue pushing beyond what he once believed was possible. Ultimately, running helped him build a life grounded in values, discipline, clarity, and a deep sense of purpose.

In this conversation, Casey shares what running has taught him about emotional growth, why grace and self-compassion are vital for mental health, and what he’d tell his younger self.

We also talk about the difference between pain and suffering, the toughness resilience requires, and how @Run5555km helps him stay motivated, and the message he hopes to send to anyone struggling: “What you’re looking for is inside of you."

⚠️ Content Warning:

While our focus is on mental health, resilience, and inner strength, this episode briefly mentions a loved one’s suicide attempt in 2013. We recognize this topic may be sensitive for some. Please check in and take good care of yourself. If this is a topic that may be emotionally sensitive, pause, and consider listening when you’re in a space that feels private, supported, and right for you. Thank you.

If you’re struggling:

Please don’t carry it alone. There is help, and people who care. Talk to a therapist, counselor, or someone you trust. For immediate support — whether for yourself or someone else — the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7. Call or text 988, or visit 988lifeline.org.

U.S. Veterans: Dial 988 and press 1, or visit veteranscrisisline.net.

Support in Japan:

• TELL Lifeline (English): 0800-300-8355 | telljp.com/lifeline
• Inochi no Denwa (Japanese): 0570-783-556 (10am–10pm)
• Tokyo Suicide Prevention Center: 03-5286-9090 (8pm–6am daily; from 5pm on Tuesdays)
• Emergencies: Call 119 (ambulance/fire) or 110 (police)

Cited in Episode:

• Book | What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami
• Races | Fuji 5 Lakes & 3 Lakes Ultra Marathons
• Song | One More Light by Linkin Park (Official Video)

Connect with Casey:

Instagram: @run5555km

If Stronger Every Stride resonates with you, consider joining the movement. Whether you run 5,555 km in a year like Casey or follow your own pace, share your progress and tag @Run5555km with #StrongerEveryStride or #Run5555km to help spread mental health awareness and hope.

For 1:1 Coaching with Kari, visit KariWatterson.com