Unlock a deeper understanding of shame, anger, and the polyvagal theory in this episode! Justin Sunseri answers a listener’s question about navigating difficult emotions, pendulation, and the importance of safety in healing. Whether you’re a therapist, student, or someone seeking personal growth, this conversation offers practical insights and guidance.

⏰ CHAPTERS:

00:00 Introduction and Question from Katie

04:10 Therapists' Perspective vs Client Reality

08:27 Understanding Anger, Shame and Pendulation

12:29 Safety First Approach

16:40 The Unstucking Pathway and Academy

Resources:

🔸 Wondering what to do next? https://bit.ly/4ozbppZ

🔸 Stuck Not Broken book series - https://www.justinlmft.com/books

🔸 Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0

Crisis resources:

• National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255
• National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233
• LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386
• National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673
• Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741
• Call 911 for emergency

This and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms. Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).

Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)

Mentioned in this episode:

Self-Regulation Simplified

Self-Regulation Simplified is a step-by-step, 8-week Polyvagal-informed program for those ready to move beyond frustration and build real, lasting self-regulation skills—together. Learn more about Self-Regulation Simplified - https://www.stucknotbroken.com/self-regulation-simplified

A viewer asked about TRE exercises that seemed to help with anxiety but left them feeling numb and disconnected. In this episode, I break down what might have gone wrong and why I take a fundamentally different approach to nervous system healing.

🔑 Key Topics Covered:

• Why prescribed movement exercises can backfire

• The difference between fight-or-flight, freeze, and shutdown states

• Why safety must come before any trauma work

• How to work WITH your nervous system instead of against it

• The problem with "hacks" and shortcuts in healing

🎯 My Approach:

Instead of prescribed movements, I focus on:

• Building a strong safety foundation first
• Mindfully connecting with your current state
• Allowing natural self-regulation to unfold
• Following your body's wisdom, not external protocols

📚 Want to Learn More?

Join the Unstucking Academy - a small, intimate community (limited to 150 members) where we practice these principles together. Features the Unstucking Pathway: bite-sized lessons under 10 minutes each, taking you from Polyvagal basics to mastering skills like pendulation and balancing.

👉 Learn more: StuckNotBroken.com/UnstuckingAcademy

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction and Disclaimer

00:28 - Viewer Question About TRE Exercises

01:24 - Perspective on TRE and Trauma Recovery

04:01 - Understanding Fight/Flight and Shutdown States

08:01 - Additional Context About Freeze State

10:32 - Importance of Safety and Mindful Movement

12:18 - Addressing the Original Question

15:01 - Information About the Unstucking Academy

Resources:

🔸 Wondering what to do next? https://bit.ly/4ozbppZ

🔸 Stuck Not Broken book series - https://www.justinlmft.com/books

🔸 Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0

Crisis resources:

• National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255
• National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233
• LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386
• National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673
• Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741
• Call 911 for emergency

This and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms. Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).

Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)

Mentioned in this episode:

Self-Regulation Simplified

Self-Regulation Simplified is a step-by-step, 8-week Polyvagal-informed program for those ready to move beyond frustration and build real, lasting self-regulation skills—together. Learn more about Self-Regulation Simplified - https://www.stucknotbroken.com/self-regulation-simplified

Feeling overwhelmed by complex breathing techniques and counting methods? In this episode, I share why your body already knows how to breathe—and why trusting that natural process might be more effective than any prescribed breathing "hack."

🎯 What You'll Learn:

• Why I don't recommend counting breaths during self-regulation

• How to use ONE intentional breath as a re-anchoring tool

• The difference between coping skills and true self-regulation

• How to connect with your body's natural breathing rhythm

• When prescribed breathing might actually be helpful (and when it's not)

This approach is part of what we teach in The Unstucking Academy - simple, natural processes without the psychobabble or woo-woo.

⏰ TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 - Introduction and Viewer Question

01:19 - Breath and Self-Regulation

03:06 - Intentional Breathing Techniques

04:49 - Mindfulness and Breath Awareness

06:34 - Unstucking Academy Overview

07:59 - Conclusion and Invitation

🔗 RESOURCES MENTIONED:

The Unstucking Academy: https://StuckNotBroken.com/unstuckingacademy

(Limited to 150 people - simple, step-by-step pathway without the overwhelm)

Resources:

🔸 Wondering what to do next? https://bit.ly/4ozbppZ

🔸 Stuck Not Broken book series - https://www.justinlmft.com/books

🔸 Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0

Crisis resources:

• National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255
• National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233
• LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386
• National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673
• Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741
• Call 911 for emergency

This and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms. Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).

Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)

Mentioned in this episode:

Self-Regulation Simplified

Self-Regulation Simplified is a step-by-step, 8-week Polyvagal-informed program for those ready to move beyond frustration and build real, lasting self-regulation skills—together. Learn more about Self-Regulation Simplified - https://www.stucknotbroken.com/self-regulation-simplified