Still Processing: Desensitized Doesn’t Mean Unaffected
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Still Processing: Desensitized Doesn’t Mean Unaffected
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About this listen
I didn’t plan to witness a murder. I didn’t plan to feel it settle in my body or to clean up blood and brain matter from the street outside my home. But I did. And this episode isn’t a comeback story or a tidy reflection. It’s me, a Black man, months later, still figuring out what it means to carry something I never asked for. I talk about what happened, the early days that followed, and the moment I found myself calming down an angry father at the scene of a car accident just blocks away. I couldn’t take any more violence. I see now how I jumped into action for others, how I knew what was needed in the moment, and how that led to a question from my therapist that still echoes: “How can you show up for yourself the way you show up for everyone else?” This episode is about that question and the long, messy road of healing. About what violence leaves behind, even when the world moves on. Let’s talk about it.