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The journey of reconnecting intimately after welcoming a child is a struggle so many couples face in silence. When desire fades and bodies feel unfamiliar, both partners can find themselves adrift in frustration and confusion, unsure how to rebuild what once came naturally.

Through one listener's painfully honest question, we explore the science behind postpartum desire and why intimacy often takes a backseat after baby. The reality? Your diminished sex life isn't personal rejection—it's biology at work. With 83% of new mothers reporting little to no desire months after birth, these changes represent a normal phase rather than a permanent relationship shift.

I break down the mechanics of desire using the car metaphor: there's an accelerator (turn-ons) and brakes (turn-offs). After childbirth, a woman's brakes are firmly engaged by physical discomfort, hormone fluctuations, and extreme fatigue. No amount of pressing the gas pedal will move forward if those brakes remain locked. The path back to connection starts with gently easing those brakes—creating safety, reducing pressure, and rebuilding non-sexual intimacy first.

We explore responsive desire (feeling aroused only after positive stimulation begins), the importance of lubrication, and practical ways to rebuild connection outside the bedroom. For partners with higher desire, I offer compassionate strategies to manage frustration while supporting recovery. From hormonal realities that temporarily suppress libido to communication approaches that foster emotional safety, this episode provides a roadmap for navigating one of parenthood's most challenging transitions.

Whether you're in the thick of postpartum disconnection or supporting someone who is, tune in to understand how intimacy can indeed return—with patience, care, and a willingness to discover new forms of connection along the way. Subscribe, share your experiences, and remember that this challenging phase will eventually shift with the right understanding and support.

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Don't forget to check out the podcast at:

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or see what Jordan is up to teaching all things sex ed at:

www.youwontlearnthisatschool.com