Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) is something everyone seems to have an opinion on, but many people’s views are decidedly negative. For example, people often say things like “open relationships never work,” and “how is that any different than cheating?” In today’s show, we’re going to dive into common CNM myths and misconceptions and separate fact from fiction.

My guest is Dr. Justin Mogilski, an associate professor of psychology at the University of South Carolina Salkehatchie, where he teaches courses on human sexuality, the psychology of marriage, and evolutionary psychology.

Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include:

• What the difference between CNM and infidelity?
• How is cheating within a CNM relationship similar to or different from cheating in a monogamous relationship?
• What are some of the logistical and emotional challenges in CNM relationships?
• What are some of the key components to a successful CNM relationship?
• How is CNM related to sexual health and safer-sex practices?

You can click this link to read Dr. Mogilski’s large-scale study on consensual non-monogamy.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

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***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Many parts of female sexual anatomy have long been misunderstood, but the clitoris is chief among them. Throughout history, the clitoris is something that has repeatedly been discovered, described, and then forgotten. In today’s show, we’re going revisit one of my favorite conversations from the archives and talk all about the history and science of the clitoris.

My guest is Dr. Maria Uloko, a board certified urologist specializing in comprehensive sexual health, reconstruction and prosthesis. A former clinical professor at the University of California San Diego, Dr. Uloko is now the CEO of MUMD Sexual Medicine Consulting and the founder of VULVAi, an innovative patient advocacy tool that employs AI to aid patients grappling with vulvovaginal issues.

Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include:

• Why has it taken so long for us to gain a solid scientific understanding of the clitoris?
• How many nerve endings are actually in the clitoris?
• How can a better understanding of clitoral anatomy help to improve sexual health and pleasure?
• Is there really a difference between clitoral and vaginal orgasms?
• What is the role of testosterone in clitoral health and wellness?

You can visit Maria’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.***

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***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

It’s November again, and that means a bunch of people on the internet are giving up masturbation for the month. While “No Nut November” is a relatively recent phenomenon, it actually has deep roots and reflects humans’ longstanding and very complicated relationship with self-pleasure. In this show, we’re talking about the history of masturbation and why people are so conflicted over it.

My guest is Dr. Eric Sprankle, an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology and the co-director of the Sexuality Studies program at Minnesota State University, Mankato. He’s also a licensed clinical psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist affiliated with the Minnesota Sexual Health Institute. His latest book is DIY: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation.

Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include:

• Where does the idea of masturbation as sinful originate?
• Historically, how have religious and political figures dissuaded people from masturbating?
• When did masturbation start to become a public health concern?
• How has the rise of social media coincided with the rise of negative views of masturbation?

You can visit Eric’s website to learn more about his work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. Now, you can help continue its expert-led research. This month, the Match Group is offering an incredible 2:1 match for all gifts to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://knsy.in/giftmatch

Head to https://paired.com/JUSTIN and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today.

A bad mattress can ruin your intimate life. If you want to upgrade your sleep, check out Brooklyn Bedding, where you can try a 120-night comfort trial. Go to brooklynbedding.com and use my promo code JUSTIN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Think back to your sex education for a moment. Were you advised to “save yourself for marriage?” Were you asked to sign a “purity” pledge? For millions of people, that was their experience. In this episode, we’re taking a closer look at abstinence pledges, including how they became so widespread, whether they actually work as intended, and the unseen consequences they leave behind.

I am joined once again by Lauren Elise Rogers, a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy & Relationship Coach. Lauren brings an empathetic and non-judgmental approach, offering practical tools that empower her clients to take ownership of their pleasure and grow in confidence and connection.

Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include:

• What does a typical abstinence pledge look like?
• How common are abstinence pledges today?
• Do abstinence pledges actually delay sexual activity?
• How might abstinence pledges make people less prepared for sex and relationships?
• What happens when people “break” their pledge?

You can visit Lauren’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.***

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

For a lot of people who grew up in religious or conservative environments, they learned to fear sex and/or feel ashamed of. Purity culture teaches folks that their personal value is tied to their sexual choices: “good” people wait to have sex, while “bad” people don’t. In this episode, we’re going to talk about what it’s like to grow up in purity culture, how to move past it, and whether it’s possible to still hold onto your faith while letting go of purity culture.

My guest is Lauren Elise Rogers, a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy & Relationship Coach. Lauren brings an empathetic and non-judgmental approach, offering practical tools that empower her clients to take ownership of their pleasure and grow in confidence and connection.

Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include:

• How does purity culture shape attitudes toward sex, desire, and one’s own body?
• What are some ways to work through the shame that people often feel due to purity culture?
• How can you begin exploring your sexuality when you still have some internal conflicts about it?
• Is it possible to remain religious without adopting the sexual shame that often comes with it?

You can visit Lauren’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.

The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Have you ever heard that vibrators will desensitize you and ruin partnered sex forever? That sex toys are just for women, singles, or kinky folks? Or that if you need a toy, something must be wrong with your sex life or relationship? These are common beliefs, but they’re not grounded in reality. So let’s set the record straight.

My guest is Venus O’Hara, a pleasure educator, author, and content creator. She became Spain’s first professional sex toy tester, and since 2014 has tested and reviewed over 1,000 products from leading sexual wellness brands worldwide. She is the author of Orgasmic Manifestation and hosts the podcast, The Orgasmic Lifestyle.

Some of the specific areas we explore in this show include:

• What do you need to know if you’re worried about becoming too “dependent” on sex toys?
• How can people introduce sex toys into partnered sex without stoking insecurity?
• Are sex toys just for women and single people?
• What are some beginner-friendly sex toys worth considering?
• What should you do if you try a toy and find that it doesn’t seem to do much for you?

Learn more about Venus by checking out her website here.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A sex toy is so much more than just a fun gadget. Toys can help us to explore our bodies, rekindle the connection in a relationship, improve sexual communication, and more. In this episode, we’re going behind the scenes of how sex toys are designed and developed. We’re also going to talk about what makes a toy truly great, as well as how to tell which toys are worth your money and which ones aren’t.

I am joined by Venus O’Hara, a pleasure educator, author, and content creator. She became Spain’s first professional sex toy tester, and since 2014 has tested and reviewed over 1,000 products from leading sexual wellness brands worldwide. She is the author of Orgasmic Manifestation and hosts the podcast, The Orgasmic Lifestyle.

Some of the specific areas we explore in this show include:

• What does it mean to view sex toys as experiences rather than products?
• What all goes into designing and developing a new sex toy?
• How can you tell the good sex toys from the bad?
• In what ways can sex toys help us to improve our sex lives?

Learn more about Venus by checking out her website here.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 65% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER69 as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/pd2546-lehmiller

The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

From sayings like “freak in the head, freak in the bed” to the hot/crazy matrix to memes about “daddy issues,” the internet is full of content suggesting that mentally and emotionally unstable people make for hotter sex partners. But is that really true? In this episode, we’re breaking down some of the biggest myths about sex and relationships that dominate social media.

I am joined once again by Joe Nucci, a licensed psychotherapist, writer, and social media influencer. His debut book, Psychobabble: Viral Mental Health Myths & the Truth To Set You Free, is available wherever books are sold.

Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include:

• Why are people with psychopathic characteristics often rated as more attractive?
• How are mental health conditions associated with sex drive and sexual behavior?
• Are people with “daddy issues” more eager to please in bed?
• Will therapy make you ready for a relationship?

You can check out Joe’s website to learn more about his work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.

Head to https://paired.com/JUSTIN and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.