BDSM practitioners have mastered skills that many of us struggle with every day, including honest communication, clear boundaries, deep trust, and the courage to be vulnerable. In this episode, we’re exploring what we can learn from kinky folks about leading happier lives, both in and out of the bedroom.

I am joined once again by Alicia Walker and Arielle Kuperberg. Alicia is an associate professor of sociology at Missouri State University and the author of The Secret Life of the Cheating Wife as well as Chasing Masculinity: Men, Validation, and Infidelity. Arielle is an associate professor of sociology at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County. Together, they are co-authors of the new book Bound by BDSM: Unexpected Lessons for Building a Happier Life.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

• How does BDSM offer a way for people to explore their creative side?
• What can we learn from BDSM practitioners about vulnerability and intimacy?
• How can BDSM allow us to explore pleasure beyond traditional sexual scripts?
• What can we learn from kinky folks about having realistic expectations in the bedroom?

You can click here to order Alicia and Arielle’s new book.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors!

A bad mattress can ruin your intimate life. If you want to upgrade your sleep, check out Brooklyn Bedding, where you can try a 120-night comfort trial. Go to brooklynbedding.com and use my promo code JUSTIN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide.

Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance down there and increase lubrication. Visit soakingwet.com and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.

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Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

The sex education we have in the United States today isn’t really working. And, unfortunately, it’s only set to get worse as a growing number of states are pushing to restrict what students can learn in these classes. So in today’s show, we’re going to talk about why it has been so difficult to make sex ed better and what we can actually do to change it.

I’m joined once again by Margaret Grace Myers, a writer, researcher, educator, and former bookseller based in Maine. She is the author of the new book The Fight For Sex Ed: The Century Long Battle Between Truth and Doctrine.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

• How many US states today require that students receive sex education?
• Why don’t we have a federal mandate for sex ed in the US?
• What can we do to improve sex ed in our own communities?
• What can we learn from other countries that are getting sex ed right?
• Why do we need to stop thinking about sex education as a one-time talk or course?

You can check out Margaret’s website to learn more about her book.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/hot-summer

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium, which will take place on October 4, 2025.

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Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please r

Sex education is highly controversial. Last year alone, 27 US states introduced bills aimed at restricting sex ed! However, this fight over what sex ed should cover (and whether it should even be taught at all) is nothing new. We’ve been having the same fights about sex ed for over a century, and that’s a big part of the reason why modern sex education still sucks.

I’m joined today by Margaret Grace Myers, a writer, researcher, educator, and former bookseller based in Maine. She is the author of the new book The Fight For Sex Ed: The Century Long Battle Between Truth and Doctrine.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

• Why do we keep having the same arguments about sex ed?
• What really holding sex education back?
• How did abstinence become such a dominant part of sex education in the US?
• Does abstinence education actually work as intended?
• Why is it so hard to access comprehensive sex education when it’s what most parents say they want?

You can check out Margaret’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/hot-summer

Head to https://paired.com/JUSTIN and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Why are some people straight while others are gay or bisexual? What determines our sexual orientation anyway? Today, we’re going to be diving into what we’ve learned about the biological origins of our sexuality from decades of scientific research. As you’ll see, there’s not a simple and easy story—it doesn’t boil down to something like a “gay gene.” It’s way more complex than that!

I am joined once again by Nathan Lents, a Professor of Biology at John Jay College, where he is the director of the Cell and Molecular Biology program. His research lab studies human genetic evolution and forensic DNA technology. He also writes popular science articles and is the author of the new book The Sexual Evolution: How 500 Millions Years of Sex, Gender, and Mating Shape Modern Relationships.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

• Is same-sex attraction genetic?
• How can two people who share 100% of the same DNA have different sexual orientations?
• When researchers are studying sexual orientation, should they be looking at attraction, identity, behavior, or all of the above?
• Why is having more older brothers linked to greater odds of homosexuality in men?
• What other biological factors are associated with sexual orientation?

You can check out Nathan’s website to learn more about his work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit loadboost.com to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN.

The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium, which will take place on October 4, 2025.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Are human beings made for monogamy or non-monogamy? This is a popular subject of debate. While some argue that humans evolved for monogamy in order to ensure parental investment in our offspring, others argue that humans evolved to be non-monogamous because it increases the odds of reproductive success and genetic diversity in our species. So which is it? That’s what we’re going to be talking about today.

I am joined by Nathan Lents, a Professor of Biology at John Jay College, where he is the director of the Cell and Molecular Biology program. His research lab studies human genetic evolution and forensic DNA technology. He also writes popular science articles and is the author of the new book The Sexual Evolution: How 500 Millions Years of Sex, Gender, and Mating Shape Modern Relationships.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

• What’s the difference between social monogamy and sexual monogamy?
• How common are social and sexual monogamy in both humans and animals, and how often do they overlap?
• Can research on other primates shed light on how human mating strategies evolved?
• Can someone’s brain chemistry predispose them to being monogamous or non-monogamous?

You can check out Nathan’s website to learn more about his work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit loadboost.com to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN.

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In long-term relationships, almost everyone will go through a sexual dry spell at some point. This is normal, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s something fundamentally wrong with you or your relationship. However, the good news is that there’s a lot you can do to break the dry spell and get your intimate life back on track. Today, we’re going to explore the reasons why sex often disappears in relationships, and what you can do about it.

I am joined by Dr. Nazanin Moali, a licensed clinical psychologist, AASECT-certified sex therapist, and the host of the internationally acclaimed Sexology Podcast. Based in Los Angeles, she leads a successful private practice where she helps individuals and couples deepen emotional intimacy, overcome sexual challenges, and create more fulfilling relationships.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

• How many people are in sexless relationships?
• What questions should we be asking when we find ourselves in a sexual dry spell?
• How can you bring erotic tension back into your relationship?
• What are ways to bring a sense of mystery and play back into sex?
• How can we reinvent our date nights in a way that’s going to cultivate more erotic energy and excitement?

You can check out Nazanin’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/hot-summer

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.