What if your child inherits more of your nervous system than your advice? We pull apart projection, the subtle ways our unlived life becomes our child’s burden, and how reparenting ourselves changes the energy our kids grow up in.

We get practical about felt safety: co-regulation over control, attunement over platitudes, and why you can’t fake presence with gifts or grand gestures. Think real-world moments—missed party invites, public meltdowns, and performance pressure around sports or school—and the quiet skills that transform them: naming emotions, staying anchored, and repairing after we misstep. We also talk boundaries that protect connection, not our image; autonomy that grows authenticity; and the simple question that resets everything: why does this moment trigger me?

Along the way, we revisit Jung’s line about the “unlived life of the parent,” explore how generational trauma travels through state, and share the shift from pushing kids toward our dreams to standing ready to support theirs. The metric we use now is simple and hard: how safe do our kids feel telling us the truth when they’ve messed up? If you’re ready to trade performance parenting for presence, and fear for curiosity, you’ll find tools, language, and hope here.

If this conversation helped, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway. Your support helps more families find safety, repair, and a new story worth living.

Holos Healing:
https://holoshealing.info/

Gettin Lost Is Being Found:
https://www.instagram.com/gettinlostisbeingfound?igsh=bWZrN3JndmQ0Y2pt

Guided meditation:
https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/wbf8yihnv2a8h7jjyhczw/Connecting-to-your-Authentic-Self.mp3?rlkey=4cjj06t9ltrbv044ouxotim89&e=2&st=fvfoodx6&dl=0

[00:00:00] Intro and welcome
[00:01:56] Darci's Memories: Presence and Joy
[00:06:45] Brandon's Memories: Work, Support, Accountability
[00:13:20] Becoming Young Parents and Big Emotions
[00:17:20] Projection, Reparenting, and Jung's Quote
[00:22:10] Modeling Mistakes, Regulation, and Repair
[00:26:20] Nervous System, Co‑Regulation, Felt Safety
[00:31:20] Space, Autonomy, and The Pendulum
[00:36:00] Sports, Expectations, and Letting Kids Lead
[00:40:10] Attunement vs Misattunement in Daily Life
[00:44:20] Safety, Being Seen, and Family Repair

What if depression isn't a disorder at all, but rather your authentic self rebelling against inauthentic living?

In this deeply personal episode, we flip the script on a subject that has profoundly impacted our lives. Brandon shares his journey through the darkness of depression, from the shame that initially prevented him from seeking help to the over-medicalization that left him feeling less pain but also less alive. Meanwhile, Darci offers a revolutionary perspective through a nervous system lens – explaining how depression serves as a protective mechanism when your body has exhausted its energy reserves.

We explore the three categories of depression, with special focus on intrapsychic depression – that disconnection from self which stems from suppressed emotions and unprocessed trauma. Society has normalized achievement over authenticity, independence over connection, and productivity over presence, creating the perfect conditions for what therapists call "functional freeze" or "masked depression" – maintaining high performance while feeling dead inside.

Ready to see depression through a different lens? Listen now and discover how your darkest moments might actually be calling you home to yourself.

Holos Healing:
https://holoshealing.info/

Gettin Lost Is Being Found:
https://www.instagram.com/gettinlostisbeingfound?igsh=bWZrN3JndmQ0Y2pt

Guided meditation:
https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/wbf8yihnv2a8h7jjyhczw/Connecting-to-your-Authentic-Self.mp3?rlkey=4cjj06t9ltrbv044ouxotim89&e=2&st=fvfoodx6&dl=0

[00:00:00] Reframing Depression: Not a Disorder
[00:08:40] Our Personal Experiences with Depression
[00:14:25] The Medical Approach: Medication Limitations
[00:23:30] Depression as a Call to Consciousness
[00:33:20] Healing Depression: Body-Based Approaches
[00:50:00] Pleasure, Play, and Expression as Medicine
[01:16:45] Supporting a Partner Through Depression

Lexi Bowler shares her journey of building Bowler Aesthetics into a thriving business while discovering that embracing feminine leadership leads to greater success and personal fulfillment.

• Started with a desire to help clear her own acne, then expanded into permanent makeup and product development
• Built the "Bowler Sisterhood" by openly sharing techniques in an industry that kept secrets
• Created innovative products including specialized microblading tools and healing solutions
• Experienced burnout after seven years of operating predominantly from masculine energy
• Pregnancy forced her to slow down, creating space for more feminine approaches to business
• Found that creating boundaries around work time improved both business and family life
• Practices box breathing and movement to manage anxiety when it arises
• Discovered that reconnecting with her body through stretching released years of stored tension
• Operates from "harmony" rather than perfect balance between work and family
• Now prioritizes sacred morning routines, leaving work by 4pm, and keeping weekends for family
• Business has grown more effectively since embracing feminine energy and slowing down

Holos Healing:
https://holoshealing.info/

Gettin Lost Is Being Found:
https://www.instagram.com/gettinlostisbeingfound?igsh=bWZrN3JndmQ0Y2pt

Guided meditation:
https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/wbf8yihnv2a8h7jjyhczw/Connecting-to-your-Authentic-Self.mp3?rlkey=4cjj06t9ltrbv044ouxotim89&e=2&st=fvfoodx6&dl=0

[00:00:00] Introduction to Lexi Bowler's Journey
[00:09:53] Building Bowler Aesthetics from Scratch
[00:16:15] Product Innovation and Community Building
[00:25:40] Balancing Work and Family Life
[00:34:32] From Masculine Hustle to Feminine Flow
[00:47:42] Body Awareness and Business Growth
[00:59:08] Authenticity as a Business Superpower
[01:07:30] Final Wisdom and Finding Harmony

Brandon takes us through the critical components of masculine shadow work and the transformation that awaits men who undertake this healing journey. We explore the seven core shadow aspects that block men from their authentic power and the specific wounds that create these patterns.

• Shadow is defined as unconscious aspects of personality that the ego doesn't identify with
• The seven core masculine shadow aspects include dominance/control, emotional repression, and fear of the feminine
• Most men carry deep shame and inadequacy as a primary shadow aspect
• Projection, overreaction, and judgment are common expressions of unintegrated shadow
• The father wound and lack of proper initiation rituals leave many men in perpetual "boy energy"
• Healing involves five key steps: awareness, feeling emotions, reparenting, integration, and reestablishing healthy relationship with the feminine
• Nervous system regulation is essential for shadow integration
• True masculine power comes from regulated presence rather than domination
• Integration creates space for creative energy, connection, and thriving instead of merely surviving
• Most annoying habits between partners often reflect deeper patterns needing attention

More Than Love Couples Coaching
https://www.instagram.com/safe2bseen?igsh=MTJkNHNkNXh6bzlxMw==

Holos Healing:
https://holoshealing.info/

Gettin Lost Is Being Found:
https://www.instagram.com/gettinlostisbeingfound?igsh=bWZrN3JndmQ0Y2pt

Guided meditation:
https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/wbf8yihnv2a8h7jjyhczw/Connecting-to-your-Authentic-Self.mp3?rlkey=4cjj06t9ltrbv044ouxotim89&e=2&st=fvfoodx6&dl=0

[00:00:00] Introduction to Masculine Shadow Work
[00:10:18] Core Shadow Aspects of Masculinity
[00:18:24] Dominance, Control and Emotional Repression
[00:27:42] Father Wounds
[00:37:13] Healing the Masculine Shadow
[00:48:15] Integration and Reclaiming True Power
[00:57:20] The Energy of Thriving vs Surviving

The feminine shadow and its wounds are not just emotional scars but nervous system imprints stored in our bodies, requiring somatic integration for true healing to occur. Darci reveals how shadow work combined with nervous system regulation allows women to reclaim their authentic feminine essence and transform protective patterns into their greatest gifts.

• Feminine wounds are nervous system imprints that manifest in the body as physical sensations and postures
• The shadow cannot be "prayed away" but must be integrated through somatic practices
• Common feminine wounds include worthiness, abandonment, silence/suppression, body/beauty, and power/visibility
• The body will only repattern when it feels safe, making nervous system regulation essential for shadow integration
• Self-sacrifice is often culturally celebrated in women but comes at the cost of health, vitality, and authentic expression
• Distinction between sacrifice (depleting) and devotion (life-giving) in feminine expression
• The HOLOS method: Honor the shadow, Observe body cues, Lean into discomfort, Open to expression, Synthesize
• Sovereignty is a frequency that allows women to reclaim their power and stop giving away their life force
• Healing creates space for expansion, creativity, and the expression of gifts previously unknown

Darci's new Feminine Shadow Nervous System Integration ebook offers a comprehensive guide for women to identify and heal their feminine shadows. Visit www.holoshealinginfo or reach out on Instagram to learn more about this somatic pathway to wholeness.

More Than Love Couples Coaching
https://www.instagram.com/safe2bseen?igsh=MTJkNHNkNXh6bzlxMw==

Holos Healing:
https://holoshealing.info/

Gettin Lost Is Being Found:
https://www.instagram.com/gettinlostisbeingfound?igsh=bWZrN3JndmQ0Y2pt

Guided meditation:
https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/wbf8yihnv2a8h7jjyhczw/Connecting-to-your-Authentic-Self.mp3?rlkey=4cjj06t9ltrbv044ouxotim89&e=2&st=fvfoodx6&dl=0

[00:00:00] Understanding the Feminine Shadow
[00:16:44] Common Feminine Wounds Explained
[00:25:43] Integrating Shadows Through Nervous System Work
[00:36:01] Self-Sacrifice vs. Devotion in Femininity
[00:45:42] Personal Healing Journey and Sovereignty
[00:51:29] The Holos Method and New Ebook Introduction

Brandon Burke shares his transformational approach to guiding men through the midlife transition, revealing how what we call a "crisis" is actually a sacred portal to authentic living.

• Midlife transition is not a crisis but a sacred opportunity to leave behind everything you are not
• Indigenous cultures had structured rites of passage from boyhood to manhood that no longer exist in modern society
• The first half of life focuses on building a container (ego, identity, boundaries) while the second half is about filling it with what truly matters
• Warning signs of midlife transition include losing interest in previously enjoyable activities, difficulty being present, depression, anxiety, and burnout
• Brandon's coaching approach focuses on four pillars: reconnect to the body, restore vitality, rewire old patterns, and return to authentic purpose
• High-performing men often have high pain tolerance due to disconnection from their bodies and emotions
• Embodiment practices aren't "girly"—they're potentially the most masculine thing a man can do
• True strength comes from a regulated nervous system and the ability to stay calm amid chaos
• The resistance you feel during transition equals the expansion available on the other side

If you're ready to transform yourself into the man you were meant to be, DM Brandon on Instagram at gettinlostisbeingfound or click the link in the show notes.

More Than Love Couples Coaching
https://www.instagram.com/safe2bseen?igsh=MTJkNHNkNXh6bzlxMw==

Holos Healing:
https://holoshealing.info/

Gettin Lost Is Being Found:
https://www.instagram.com/gettinlostisbeingfound?igsh=bWZrN3JndmQ0Y2pt

[00:00:00] Embracing Midlife Vulnerability
[00:11:27] Building a Men's Community
[00:24:06] The Misunderstood Midlife Crisis
[00:36:43] Signs of the Midlife Transition
[00:49:55] Reconnecting to Your Authentic Self
[01:00:32] From Performance to Embodiment
[01:07:59] Call to Action and Program Details

Brandon and Darci explore the difference between performative religious practices and transformative spiritual experiences, reflecting on their personal journeys since leaving organized religion.

• Defining spirituality as the practice of love and deep connection
• Community as both the benefit and shadow side of religious participation
• Moving from viewing oneself as broken to recognizing inherent wholeness
• The body as an altar and spiritual guide that never lies
• Meditation as a tool for excavation rather than escape
• The danger of spiritual outsourcing and abandoning one's inner knowing
• Finding spirituality in everyday moments and human connections
• Intimate relationships as the ultimate spiritual training ground
• The sacred nature of suffering and its role in transformation
• Presence as the core of spiritual practice

If you're ready to reconnect and bring your relationship back to life, send a DM to our Instagram at safe2bseen

[00:00:00] Performative vs. Transformative Spirituality
[00:03:42] What We Miss About Religion
[00:11:33] Community and Confirmation Bias
[00:21:45] Defining Modern Spirituality
[00:31:00] From Broken to Whole: Shifting Paradigms
[00:38:44] Body as Altar: Meditation and Self-Discovery
[00:47:49] Avoiding Spiritual Outsourcing
[00:54:47] Living Authentically as Spiritual Practice
[01:04:27] Finding Spirituality in Human Connection

Ashley Baird shares her incredible journey as a breast cancer survivor, mother of five, and community builder who transformed her diagnosis into a mission to help others.

• Diagnosed at age 36 with stage 4 triple-negative breast cancer after finding a lump the day after Christmas
• Given only a 20% chance of successful treatment and a prognosis of approximately two years to live
• Fought through aggressive chemotherapy while parenting five children, including a three-year-old daughter
• Experienced what she describes as miracles throughout her treatment journey, including access to life-saving medications
• Created the nonprofit "Battle of the Breasts" to support women fighting breast cancer in her community
• Found deepened faith and spirituality through her cancer journey, learning to "nestle, not wrestle" with her circumstances
• Discovered that allowing herself to be vulnerable and accept help from others was one of the greatest challenges
• Transformed her perspective on parenting and life priorities, focusing on meaningful moments with her family
• Defied all medical odds to survive more than ten years after her initial diagnosis
• Continues to use her experience to bring hope and support to others facing similar battles

Join us at Battle of the Breasts on September 27th to support women currently fighting breast cancer. Visit battleofthebreasts.org to sign up a team, become a sponsor, or make a donation.

More Than Love Couples Coaching
https://www.instagram.com/safe2bseen?igsh=MTJkNHNkNXh6bzlxMw==

Holos Healing:
https://holoshealing.info/

Gettin Lost Is Being Found:
https://www.instagram.com/gettinlostisbeingfound?igsh=bWZrN3JndmQ0Y2pt

Find Battle Of The Breasts here:
https://www.battleofthebreasts.org/
Instagram: @battle.of.the.breasts
Email: ashley@battleofthebreasts.org

[00:00:00] Introduction to Ashley's Journey
[00:09:15] The Moment Everything Changed
[00:20:32] The Diagnosis and Breaking News
[00:33:16] Finding Purpose in the Battle
[00:46:35] When Family Becomes Your Why
[01:00:20] The Spiritual Journey Through Cancer
[01:14:15] Changing Perspectives on Parenting
[01:28:30] The Medical Battle Against All Odds
[01:45:05] Battle of the Breasts: Creating Legacy