Episodes

  • #009: Part 2 of Ego Development: The Rule-Oriented & Conformist Stages

    #009: Part 2 of Ego Development: The Rule-Oriented & Conformist Stages
    Nov 24 2025

    In this second episode of our ego development series, we explore what it's like to move out of a 1st person perspective, and into the 2nd: the rule-oriented and conformist perspectives. We talk about how kids first discover empathy and shame, how adults organize identity around rules, roles, and group norms, and where loyalty becomes both social glue and a cage. We also unpack the “nice person” and “rebel” shadows, then close with two practices—a somatic yes/no boundary check-in and an inner rulebook audit—to help you keep the rules that protect belonging and gently retire the ones that just protect fear.

    To watch this stage come alive on your screen, check this link with movie and TV clips that highlight each stage of development. https://rememberingyou.life/ego-development-via-movies-other-media


    CHAPTERS:

    00:00 – Welcome & Stage Two Intro

    01:32 – What Is Second-Person Perspective?

    04:40 – Kids, Empathy & the Birth of Shame

    09:15 – Rule-Oriented Stage

    12:38 – Conformist Stage

    19:15 – How Stage Two Shaped Society

    23:38 – Gifts of Rules, Loyalty & Structure

    35:06 – Shadows of People-Pleasing & Legalism

    41:55 – Shadows of the Rebel

    51:05 – Guided Practice: Yes/No Boundary Check-In

    55:07 – Guided Practice: Inner Rulebook Audit

    1:02:21 – Key Takeaways & Next Stage Preview


    Website | www.RememberingYou.Life

    Instagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.life

    Facebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.life


    Subscribe to the Remembering You podcast:

    iTunes | https://link.rememberingyou.life/epx8OT

    Spotify | https://link.rememberingyou.life/9Ittfm

    iHeartRadio | https://link.rememberingyou.life/HWGmb7

    YouTube | https://link.rememberingyou.life/QgNJyP

    Podcast music licensed for non-commercial use by mobygratis.com
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    1 hr and 5 mins
  • Part 1 of Ego Development: The Impulsive & Ego-Centric Stages

    Part 1 of Ego Development: The Impulsive & Ego-Centric Stages
    Nov 20 2025

    In this first installment of our Ego Development Series, we explore the earliest stage of human meaning-making: the impulsive, egocentric world of Stage One. This is the part of us that wants what it wants right now—the toddler inside who hasn’t yet learned perspective, patience, or planning… but who carries our instinct, vitality, imagination, and raw life force.

    We trace how this stage forms in childhood, how it continues to show up in adulthood (yes, including road rage and grocery line chaos), and why every one of us still returns to this level under stress. We also talk about the gifts of Stage One—intuition, courage, embodied power, and imaginal creativity—and its shadows of impulsivity, narcissism, and reactivity.

    You’ll hear stories, real-life examples, and two guided practices: a grounding exercise to embody healthy power, and an imaginal practice to re-parent your younger self with compassion and steadiness. We close with reflection questions to help you recognize where Stage One appears in your life and relationships—and how to work with it lovingly rather than judging it.

    • ​For a deeper dive, read this episode's page on our website: https://rememberingyou.life/episode-8
    • ​Or, learn about ego development by watching movie clips! https://rememberingyou.life/ego-development-via-movies-other-media
    • ​Standalone versions of the 2 guided practices in this episode are available on our Patreon: https://link.rememberingyou.life/pbdCkj⁠


    CHAPTERS:

    00:00 – Welcome

    00:39 – Series Begins

    01:37 – Why Ego Development Matters

    02:30 – History of Ego Development

    06:34 – Five Perspectives Overview

    13:30 – What Is Stage One?

    14:41 – Childhood Expressions

    17:03 – Adult Expressions

    20:49 – Early Needs: Safety & Boundaries

    21:20 – Grocery Line Example

    24:20 – Stress & Impulse

    26:04 – Healthy Stage One

    30:05 – Unhealthy Stage One

    35:00 – We All Have Stage One

    36:04 – Healing Stage One

    41:06 – Grounding Practice

    46:04 – Inner Toddler Practice

    49:30 – Supporting Stage One

    52:07 – Self-Reflection Questions

    55:27 – Driving Story

    58:08 – Summary & Stage Two Preview


    Website | www.RememberingYou.Life

    Instagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.life

    Facebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.life


    Subscribe to the Remembering You podcast:

    iTunes | https://link.rememberingyou.life/epx8OT

    Spotify | https://link.rememberingyou.life/9Ittfm

    iHeartRadio | https://link.rememberingyou.life/HWGmb7

    YouTube | https://link.rememberingyou.life/QgNJyP

    Join the Remembering You community on Patreon and learn about our offerings and upcoming events! https://link.rememberingyou.life/pbdCkj

    Podcast music licensed for non-commercial use by mobygratis.com
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    1 hr and 1 min
  • Q&A #3: How do I tell the difference between a thought and a feeling?

    Q&A #3: How do I tell the difference between a thought and a feeling?
    Nov 14 2025

    We all know we have emotions, but for many folks, telling the difference between a thought and a feeling can be tricky!

    We mentioned the Feelings Wheel as a great resource for building better discernment. https://feelingswheel.com (best viewed on a desktop or laptop screen).

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    4 mins
  • #007: Your Ego Would Like to Speak to the Manager, Please

    #007: Your Ego Would Like to Speak to the Manager, Please
    Nov 11 2025
    What exactly is the ego—and why does everyone keep telling us to get rid of it? In this episode, we meet the part of us that wants to look good, stay safe, and maybe (just maybe) get invited onto Rupert Spira’s podcast. From Freud’s 1923 definition of the ego, to the modern-day midlife crisis, we explore how the ego tries to run the show… and what happens when it burns out.Along the way, you’ll hear Meatloaf impressions, priest jokes, and a surprising story about HOA trash cans (yes, really). We unpack shadow work, talk about how the body tattles on our emotions, and explain why your mouth goes dry when you’re about to tell the truth. Aliceanne connects the dots between ego and the Enneagram, while Ryan shares what it’s like to reclaim the heart he once held back.By the end, you’ll see why ego isn’t the villain—it’s just the overworked intern of your soul, trying its best to keep the system running. The real journey, they remind us, is learning to let that earnest little intern rest while your deeper Self takes the wheel.(Thank you AI for letting us look like superheroes in this episode's cover art.) Website | www.RememberingYou.LifeInstagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.lifeFacebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.lifeSubscribe to the Remembering You podcast:iTunes | https://link.rememberingyou.life/epx8OT Spotify | https://link.rememberingyou.life/9Ittfm iHeartRadio | https://link.rememberingyou.life/HWGmb7 YouTube | https://link.rememberingyou.life/QgNJyP Join the Remembering You community on Patreon and learn about our offerings and upcoming events! https://link.rememberingyou.life/pbdCkj Podcast music licensed for non-commercial use by mobygratis.com#RememberingYou00:00 – Opening & intro01:17 – Meeting the ego: voices in the back seat03:20 – Ryan’s early view of sin, flesh, and ego05:08 – What the ego really is: Freud’s id, ego, and superego09:33 – Why we need ego to function10:30 – When the ego starts to run the show11:25 – Healthy ego in action: teaching at Dell15:26 – Why “ego” became a dirty word17:03 – Shadow and the parts we hide21:46 – Reclaiming the light we’ve hidden25:00 – The body’s wisdom in shadow work30:58 – Boundaries vs. avoidance35:49 – Introducing the Enneagram: personality as ego pattern39:48 – Seeing ourselves clearly through the Enneagram43:52 – Blind spots and feedback from others47:05 – Ryan’s reflections on type 9 and the fear of rejection50:51 – When ego strategies stop working52:19 – Richard Rohr and the two halves of life57:00 – Ego death and midlife transformation01:02:00 – Women, patriarchy, and the feminine journey01:04:00 – True Self vs. False Self01:09:00 – Aliceanne on exhaustion and the slow art of rest01:15:00 – The sacred container cracking open01:18:00 – Healthy masculinity & the archetypes01:22:00 – The Hero’s and Heroine’s Journeys01:27:00 – Wholeness beyond separateness01:29:00 – Closing reflections & invitationYouTube video mentioned about The Heroine's Journey: https://youtu.be/oeVHp2DtZjg?si=ngwPW4tPUu9l4sEW
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    1 hr and 30 mins
  • Q&A #2: What does the movie The Matrix tell us about our journey of waking up?

    Q&A #2: What does the movie The Matrix tell us about our journey of waking up?
    Nov 9 2025

    Aliceanne shares some thoughts with her LinkedIn community after a post she made announcing the Remembering You podcast launch - folks wondered what the title of the podcast means... why "Remembering You"?

    She talks about why movie The Matrix is a great pointer for why "waking up" feels like remembering something you've always known, but just temporarily forgotten.

    Read the original LinkedIn post here: https://www.linkedin.com/posts/aliceanneschmidt_slowliving-consciousness-lifetransition-share-7392220703346851840-XZol


    Website | www.RememberingYou.Life

    Instagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.life

    Facebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.life


    Subscribe to the Remembering You podcast:

    iTunes | https://link.rememberingyou.life/epx8OT

    Spotify | https://link.rememberingyou.life/9Ittfm

    iHeartRadio | https://link.rememberingyou.life/HWGmb7

    YouTube | https://link.rememberingyou.life/QgNJyP


    Join the Remembering You community on Patreon and learn about our offerings and upcoming events! https://link.rememberingyou.life/pbdCkj
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    3 mins
  • Q&A #1: What do I do if a close person in my life doesn't have a secure attachment system?

    Q&A #1: What do I do if a close person in my life doesn't have a secure attachment system?
    Nov 9 2025

    Ever wonder why your person pulls away or clings tight when chaos hits? We’re spilling the tea on attachment styles + ways to be their safe harbor when they’re dysregulated.


    Website | www.RememberingYou.Life

    Instagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.life

    Facebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.life


    Subscribe to the Remembering You podcast:

    iTunes | https://link.rememberingyou.life/epx8OT

    Spotify | https://link.rememberingyou.life/9Ittfm

    iHeartRadio | https://link.rememberingyou.life/HWGmb7

    YouTube | https://link.rememberingyou.life/QgNJyP


    Join the Remembering You community on Patreon and learn about our offerings and upcoming events! https://link.rememberingyou.life/pbdCkj


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    5 mins
  • #006 - The Hidden Algorithm of the Human Operating System

    #006 - The Hidden Algorithm of the Human Operating System
    Nov 3 2025
    Join us as we explore one of the most fundamental systems of the human psyche — the attachment system.Beginning with Ryan's raw honesty of his “bunker mode,” we trace how our earliest experiences of safety and connection become the internal compass that guides how we love, trust, and belong throughout life. Drawing on the work of John Bowlby and Dr. Dan Brown, the conversation travels from developmental psychology to contemplative practice — from the map to the terrain.You’ll hear how attachment styles form (secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized), what they feel like in everyday life, and how they can transform through safe relationships, mindfulness, and the rediscovery of something larger holding us all.Ryan leads a grounding meditation that reawakens the felt sense of safety and belonging in the body. Together, we explore what it means to experience external safety with others, internal safety within ourselves, and transpersonal safety with life itself.Blending neuroscience, spirituality, and lived experience, this conversation is a gentle reminder: safety isn’t something we earn — it’s something we remember.00:00 – Welcome to Remembering You00:58 – Ryan’s “bunker mode” — from strength to shutdown03:45 – When triggers flip the nervous system05:55 – “Make me better” — why fixing doesn’t work07:12 – The map vs. the terrain of healing10:00 – The roots of attachment and the need for safety11:08 – What is the attachment system?12:00 – Why belonging is as vital as breathing13:07 – The three questions we’re always asking: Am I lovable? Are others reliable? Is the world safe?21:10 – John Bowlby and the birth of attachment theory24:00 – The internal working model — our human operating code25:05 – Grounding practice: finding safety in the body30:00 – Feeling held by the ground — safety that precedes us33:00 – Remembering, not learning35:07 – How attachment styles form36:37 – Secure attachment — the base for connection and autonomy46:00 – When leaders model secure attachment47:00 – Insecure attachment: anxious, avoidant, and disorganized52:00 – The anxious attachment strategy53:10 – The avoidant attachment strategy (“bunker mode”)56:00 – How stress makes us shift between styles57:00 – Disorganized attachment and the fear–love paradox59:50 – Healing patterns — building new neural roads1:00:25 – Enter Dr. Dan Brown — repairing attachment in adulthood1:02:20 – The three layers of safety: external, internal, transpersonal1:05:55 – Ryan’s story of men’s council and belonging1:07:04 – Attunement and being truly seen1:08:15 – Reparenting and internal caregiving1:10:11 – Metacognition — being the witness, not the storm1:17:00 – Fear and the steady presence that holds it1:19:00 – Transpersonal safety and trust in life itself1:21:50 – Remembering you are held by something larger1:23:01 – Reflection: who helps you feel safe and loved?1:25:32 – Attachment in leadership, culture, and creativity1:27:31 – The Psalms and ancient echoes of secure attachment1:31:03 – The Buddhist refuge and co-regulation in community1:33:09 – Attachment at the end of life1:35:00 – Closing reflections and Rumi’s “The Guest House”Website | www.RememberingYou.LifeInstagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.lifeFacebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.lifeSubscribe to the Remembering You podcast:iTunes | https://link.rememberingyou.life/epx8OT Spotify | https://link.rememberingyou.life/9Ittfm iHeartRadio | https://link.rememberingyou.life/HWGmb7 YouTube | https://link.rememberingyou.life/QgNJyP Join the Remembering You community on Patreon and learn about our offerings and upcoming events! https://link.rememberingyou.life/pbdCkj Podcast music licensed for non-commercial use by mobygratis.com#RememberingYou
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    1 hr and 38 mins
  • #005 - Steering Consciousness: The Attentional System

    #005 - Steering Consciousness: The Attentional System
    Oct 30 2025

    Attention shapes everything — what we notice, how we feel, and who we become.

    Aliceanne and Ryan explore the attentional system — the inner mechanism that determines what we see and what we miss. They move from the everyday (“why am I mad at the mailbox?”) into the sacred: how attention, when trained, becomes a doorway to healing, intimacy, and awakening.

    Drawing from neuroscience, psychology, and spiritual tradition, they weave together stories of emotional hijacking, Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the blind spots we inherit from childhood, and how awareness transforms pain into wisdom. From Jesus and the Good Samaritan to modern meditation and the science of self-regulation, this is an episode about learning to see again — with the mind, the heart, and the whole of our being.


    Website | www.RememberingYou.Life

    Instagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.life

    Facebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.life


    Subscribe to the Remembering You podcast:

    iTunes | https://link.rememberingyou.life/epx8OT

    Spotify | https://link.rememberingyou.life/9Ittfm

    iHeartRadio | https://link.rememberingyou.life/HWGmb7

    YouTube | https://link.rememberingyou.life/QgNJyP


    Join the Remembering You community on Patreon and learn about our offerings and upcoming events! https://link.rememberingyou.life/pbdCkj


    00:00 – Arrival

    00:36 – Anniversary Reflections

    01:25 – What Is Attention, Really?

    02:44 – The Camera of Consciousness

    04:11 – A Simple Exercise in Seeing

    05:17 – When Attention Gets Hijacked

    08:00 – Turning Toward Pain or Away

    12:05 – Movement as Medicine - Putting One Foot in Front of the Other

    14:05 – The Ordinary Made Sacred

    20:00 – Why We Have an Attentional System

    21:19 – Maslow’s Hierarchy Revisited

    28:44 – The Systems of the Psyche

    33:34 – The Story of the Friend Who Never Felt Thirst

    39:00 – Seeing Through the Heart

    44:00 – Consider the Lilies

    48:49 – Attention, Attachment, and the Heart–Mind Dance

    53:00 – From Atonement to At-Onement

    56:03 – Infinite (and secular!) Doorways to the Divine

    1:01:04 – Attention as Healing Practice

    1:13:00 – Turning Toward Pain: The Practice of Sobriety & Healing our Addictions

    1:22:40 – Control vs. Intimacy

    1:24:33 – Being vs. Doing

    1:33:10 – Love as the Ground of Being

    1:37:00 – Attention as Openness

    1:41:00 – Practical Tools for Training Attention

    1:46:00 – Compassion as Gravity

    1:49:00 – Closing Reflections

    Podcast music licensed for non-commercial use by mobygratis.com

    #RememberingYou
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    1 hr and 49 mins