In this second episode of our ego development series, we explore what it's like to move out of a 1st person perspective, and into the 2nd: the rule-oriented and conformist perspectives. We talk about how kids first discover empathy and shame, how adults organize identity around rules, roles, and group norms, and where loyalty becomes both social glue and a cage. We also unpack the “nice person” and “rebel” shadows, then close with two practices—a somatic yes/no boundary check-in and an inner rulebook audit—to help you keep the rules that protect belonging and gently retire the ones that just protect fear.

To watch this stage come alive on your screen, check this link with movie and TV clips that highlight each stage of development. https://rememberingyou.life/ego-development-via-movies-other-media

CHAPTERS:

00:00 – Welcome & Stage Two Intro

01:32 – What Is Second-Person Perspective?

04:40 – Kids, Empathy & the Birth of Shame

09:15 – Rule-Oriented Stage

12:38 – Conformist Stage

19:15 – How Stage Two Shaped Society

23:38 – Gifts of Rules, Loyalty & Structure

35:06 – Shadows of People-Pleasing & Legalism

41:55 – Shadows of the Rebel

51:05 – Guided Practice: Yes/No Boundary Check-In

55:07 – Guided Practice: Inner Rulebook Audit

1:02:21 – Key Takeaways & Next Stage Preview

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Spotify | https://link.rememberingyou.life/9Ittfm

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YouTube | https://link.rememberingyou.life/QgNJyP

Podcast music licensed for non-commercial use by mobygratis.com

In this first installment of our Ego Development Series, we explore the earliest stage of human meaning-making: the impulsive, egocentric world of Stage One. This is the part of us that wants what it wants right now—the toddler inside who hasn’t yet learned perspective, patience, or planning… but who carries our instinct, vitality, imagination, and raw life force.

We trace how this stage forms in childhood, how it continues to show up in adulthood (yes, including road rage and grocery line chaos), and why every one of us still returns to this level under stress. We also talk about the gifts of Stage One—intuition, courage, embodied power, and imaginal creativity—and its shadows of impulsivity, narcissism, and reactivity.

You’ll hear stories, real-life examples, and two guided practices: a grounding exercise to embody healthy power, and an imaginal practice to re-parent your younger self with compassion and steadiness. We close with reflection questions to help you recognize where Stage One appears in your life and relationships—and how to work with it lovingly rather than judging it.

• ​For a deeper dive, read this episode's page on our website: https://rememberingyou.life/episode-8
• ​Or, learn about ego development by watching movie clips! https://rememberingyou.life/ego-development-via-movies-other-media
• ​Standalone versions of the 2 guided practices in this episode are available on our Patreon: https://link.rememberingyou.life/pbdCkj⁠

CHAPTERS:

00:00 – Welcome

00:39 – Series Begins

01:37 – Why Ego Development Matters

02:30 – History of Ego Development

06:34 – Five Perspectives Overview

13:30 – What Is Stage One?

14:41 – Childhood Expressions

17:03 – Adult Expressions

20:49 – Early Needs: Safety & Boundaries

21:20 – Grocery Line Example

24:20 – Stress & Impulse

26:04 – Healthy Stage One

30:05 – Unhealthy Stage One

35:00 – We All Have Stage One

36:04 – Healing Stage One

41:06 – Grounding Practice

46:04 – Inner Toddler Practice

49:30 – Supporting Stage One

52:07 – Self-Reflection Questions

55:27 – Driving Story

58:08 – Summary & Stage Two Preview

Website | www.RememberingYou.Life

Instagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.life

Facebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.life

Subscribe to the Remembering You podcast:

iTunes | https://link.rememberingyou.life/epx8OT

Spotify | https://link.rememberingyou.life/9Ittfm

iHeartRadio | https://link.rememberingyou.life/HWGmb7

YouTube | https://link.rememberingyou.life/QgNJyP

Join the Remembering You community on Patreon and learn about our offerings and upcoming events! https://link.rememberingyou.life/pbdCkj

Podcast music licensed for non-commercial use by mobygratis.com

We all know we have emotions, but for many folks, telling the difference between a thought and a feeling can be tricky!

We mentioned the Feelings Wheel as a great resource for building better discernment. https://feelingswheel.com (best viewed on a desktop or laptop screen).