• The Shame Trap and the Inner Chimp Paradox
    Dec 31 2025
    This episode is dedicated to a friend of Cliff´s, Jamie, who first told him about the Inner Chimp Paradox and recommended the book and the techniques he and Eva are exploring, today. Everyone has an inner chimp that self-blame voice, which nags them, shames them, and tells them they are rubbish at everything. It is normal, but people with neurodiverse brains feel criticism more deeply, so if their inner chimp is not kept in check, it can do a lot of damage. Cliff and Eva discuss how to put your inner chimp back in its box. EPISODE REVEALS · The chimp in your head is that negative side that always shames you, says you're useless, makes you feel rubbish – self-blame. · Everybody has an inner chimp. Whether you’re neurotypical or neurodiverse. But ADHD brains feel criticism much more than a neurotypical one does. Letting your inner chimp do as it pleases can lead to ADHD burnout and really dark thoughts. · For neurodiverse people, the impact of the criticism from their inner chimp can cause them to spiral downwards, so it is particularly important to be aware of your inner chimp and learn how to put him back in his box. · Befriend your chimp. Speak to your chimp like you would a friend who's suffering. If you see someone who's being grumpy, what would you say to that person? · Deep breathing helps a lot - Banana for the chimp, oxygen for the human. · Kindness regulate ADHD faster – including self-kindness. BEST MOMENTS "There is a grumpy monkey living in your head ." “Give your brain a hug, not hate mail.” "Anxiety is there for quick, short bursts of energy to keep us safe, keep us active. But in today's world anxiety has turned against us." "We are going to name the chimp. Let it know we are the boss. We're going to tell our chimp to chill. ." "Perfection is a trap – good enough ships." EPISODE RESOURCES Helping Teachers Thrive Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/helping-teachers-thrive/id1681843058 The Chimp Paradox Book - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Chimp-Paradox-Acclaimed-Management-Confidence/dp/B006WCJ9OS RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!
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    22 mins
  • Jeff Carroll, Eva, and Cliff - Love on the Spectrum Dating Advice Pt 2
    Dec 24 2025
    Today, Cliff is joined once again by his daughter Eva and Yo Jeff a dating coach and published author of The Hip Hop Dating Guide that is available on Amazon. Check the description for the link. Last time Jeff was here, he talked to Eva about confidence, friendships and building skills. Today, they're catching up on how she got on with those challenges, the progress she's made. They also discuss how to handle rejection, harsh self-talk, and navigate those messy, early steps into teenage connection. EPISODE REVEALS Having a calm, trusted adult to talk to about confidence, friendships and dating can make things feel more manageable. Showing up and trying, even if you freeze or can’t follow through, is still progress. Courage is built in layers, not in one perfect moment. When someone is warm online but avoids spending time with you in real life, it usually reflects their fears and limits not anything you’ve done wrong. Rejection is painful, but each “no” is also practice. Practice at communicating, understanding yourself better, and choosing healthier connections. When your confidence is knocked consciously replenishing your reserves helps e.g. art, gaming, or creative projects. Friendships and dating are long games. You get good at them by repetition, not perfection. Trying again is how confidence and real connection are built. You might not end up dating every person you like, but you might meet someone wonderful through their friends. It’s worth keeping friendships, and practicing your social skills, even when romance doesn’t work out. BEST MOMENTS "It's really important to celebrate these little wins, because actually, they start mounting up into big wins." "You're going to work through that pain, and then once you get to the other side of that, reignite that friendship." "If you become really good at something, it will impact your self-confidence on everything." EPISODE RESOURCES https://podcasts.apple.com/es/podcast/navigating-friendships-and-dating-on-the-spectrum/id1810681675?i=1000733947794 ABOUT THE GUESTS JEFF CARROLL For one-on-one dating advice and coaching, contact Jeff via - coachyojeff@gmail.com https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_22asKR-3-Y https://www.facebook.com/CoachYoJeff The Hip Hop Dating Guide - https://a.co/d/gwDdKTH EVA KILMISTER Eva´s YT channel Inspire With Us - https://www.youtube.com/@InspireWithUsYT Eva Kilmister - Art Sketch Book - Blank Pages Sketch Pad - https://amzn.eu/d/i8v4VkA RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!
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    46 mins
  • How the Right Nutrition Changes Helps Children with Autism and/or ADHD
    Dec 17 2025
    Today, Cliff is joined by Vicky, founder of the happy, healthy unicorn. Her daughter was diagnosed with severe non-verbal autism at four years old, and what happened next completely changed their lives. Vicky shares how nutrition, gut health and tiny step by step changes helped her daughter move from daily struggle to real progress, and how any parent can start making gentle changes without overwhelming their child. If your child lives on beige foods, craves sugar, or reacts intensely to everyday life. This episode is definitely for you. Let's dive in. EPISODE REVEALS When autistic children don’t get enough of the right nutrients, their bodies prioritise basic survival functions like breathing over non-essential functions like focus, learning, speech, and eye contact. A more nutritious, less processed diet gives children´s brains more fuel to work with. Each tiny new food you add is extra fuel for your child’s brain and gut—and over time, those small changes can really lift how they feel and function. Many autistic and ADHD children gravitate to beige, carby foods because they provide a quick sugar hit, have a neutral smell and feel safe. Sweet or carby foods don’t provide sustainable energy and feed “bad” gut bugs. A vicious cycle that slowly gets worse. Gradual change is the key to diet changes, including going gluten or dairy free. Take the food they do enjoy and gradually tweak things to make it healthier rather than banning your child from eating the foods they love, overnight. Use food chaining to gently widen their diet, for example turning favourite cereal into cereal bars with oats, seeds, and nut butter, then adding those ingredients back into the cereal bowl. Change together as a family, work towards not having unhealthy foods in the home. BEST MOMENTS "By getting her body into good health, we found she could actually have a functional, beautiful life - she could communicate, have friends and not hurt herself." "If your body is not getting those nutrients, then that energy is depleted, and then the energy that your body needs to fulfil non-essential functioning will not be there anymore." "It’s all about meeting your child where they are at. put yourself into your child’s shoes." “The diet is imperative. It's fuel, isn't it? - You're either fuelling or you're poisoning.” EPISODE RESOURCES https://thehappyhealthyunicorn.com RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!
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    54 mins
  • Executive Function and the Hot Topic of Digital IDs with Eva
    Dec 10 2025
    Eva is back. Today, we're talking about executive function, or, as we like to call it, your brain's superhero - it´s CEO. We discuss why it sometimes goes on strike and what you can do to quickly kickstart it. The conversation also dives deep into digital IDs, freedom of speech, and Eva provides some teenage honesty, including what it's like to create and share online. EPISODE REVEALS Executive function is like the brain’s CEO; it organises thoughts and actions. Your executive function can “go on strike,” making focus and organisation especially tough for people with ADHD. When executive function falters, being motivated through rewards and engaging in activities that release dopamine can re-engage attention and effort, especially for neurodiverse children. Exercise and making things fun are two examples. The introduction of digital IDs raises concerns about privacy, freedom of speech, and social control. Creating content for YouTube allows for self-expression and community, but navigating age-appropriate topics and online feedback presents challenges. It is vital parents are there to provide support. Maintaining an online presence as a teenager does put pressure on them, but finding platforms and content types that suit their interests and values helps them to learn to balance digital engagement with maintaining personal boundaries. BEST MOMENTS "Your CEO, your (brain´s executive function), also thrives off of dopamine in ways that you love. For example, one of your favourite things - laughing." “For instance, I really don’t like doing the vibrating plate, but if you give me a reward for it, then I would want to do it more to get that reward.” “The advent of digital IDs raises concerns about privacy, freedom of speech, and social control, highlighting the importance of critical awareness." Eva´s InspireWithUS contacts https://www.youtube.com/@InspireWithUsYT https://www.tiktok.com/@iwuyt_87 RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister/⁠ X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!
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    41 mins
  • Is Richard Tice Getting It Wrong? - Ear Defenders, Labelling and Generations of Undiagnosed Neurodiversity
    Dec 3 2025
    Today, in this slightly different episode, Cliff talks about something that hit a nerve with a lot of parents and teachers, and probably even with people who are neuro diverse that don't have kids - the comments Richard Tice from Reform UK, made about neuro divergent children and labelling. Cliff also welcomes his mum to the episode to share personal and family experiences of neurodivergence across generations. Interestingly, their discussion includes several new revelations – things they had not realised until today´s conversation. EPISODE REVEALS Accurate diagnosis is essential. Without these diagnostic “labels” it is impossible to provide or gain access to the tailored support neurodivergent children need to be able to learn and succeed in life. Withdrawing or stigmatising sensory tools like ear defenders, as Richard Tice has suggested, undermines the well-being of neurodivergent children by removing the very things that enable them to cope, learn and eventually thrive. Simply stating that 1000s of children have been misdiagnosed does not make it so. This attitude is creating a situation where people think leaving neurodivergent children to “just get on with it” is somehow acceptable. Looking back, knowing what they know now about autism and ADHD, Cliff and his mum can see that generations of the family were neurodivergent. Cliff’s mother needed to physically interact with letters, to touch and trace them, to understand their shapes and learn the alphabet. She was not allowed to do this, so struggled to learn to read. In the end, she worked out her own system and learned to read that way. BEST MOMENTS "Labels aren't the problem, the suffering without support and the misunderstanding and the uneducated opinions of other people is." "What Richard Tice is suggesting is a move back to what doesn't work. It hasn't worked for generations - it's time for change." "The education system doesn't spot it, and they just let them struggle. It's very sad." "She was told off for everything – even playtime." "She (Cliff´s grandmother) had to be in the corner with a dunce's hat on… and it happened at every school she went to." “Our children aren't a new problem. They're part of a long history of neurodivergent people who have been forced to cope without support.” RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!
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    43 mins
  • Nutrition, Movement, and Sensory Tools for Neurodevelopment with Lara Barnes
    Nov 26 2025
    Cliff speaks with Lara Barnes, the founder of Brain Development UK. Lara helps children with autism, ADHD and learning differences by rebuilding the foundation of the brain through sensory work and primitive reflex integration. She shares some simple tests you can do at home and the details of exercises and tools you can buy and use yourself to significantly help your child. If your child struggles with balance, communication, is non-verbal, has challenges with coordination, incontinence, reading or focus, this conversation is especially important for you. EPISODE REVEALS · Early brain development can be positively influenced by rebuilding foundational sensory and reflex pathways, especially for neurodiverse children. · Achieving motor milestones e.g. rolling, crawling, and tummy time are critical for long-term development. Their absence, delay, or acceleration can be a warning sign. · Stimulating the spinal gallant reflex can help to address incontinence. · Foundational reflexes and sensory integration directly affect vision and higher learning functions; simple at-home assessments can identify areas for support. · Sensory input, in particular through touch and vibration can improve body awareness and brain development. · If you can´t feel your tongue fully, speech is difficult. Lara recommends a simple tool to help stimulate the mouth. · Gradual and consistent sensory work can greatly reduce hypersensitivity. · Dietary change is a highly effective starting point. There is a lot of support available to help with this. · Small, consistent changes really do make a huge difference. BEST MOMENTS “I help to reset the foundation of the brain … and we utilize the sensory system to do that.” “If a child was contained a lot e.g. in a car seat … sometimes those reflexes just don't integrate.” “I'd identify what side of the brain is weaker, and then we would do exercises for that too, and use sensory stimulus on that area and it doesn't take long.” “There's so much parents can do themself.” “You can actually buy a cheap power plate…for them to play on or sit on.” “If you feel your body, you can relate to other people.” “Start with diet." EPISODE RESOURCES https://www.braindevelopment.co.uk lara@braindevelopment.co.uk Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-brain-development-podcast/id1825344229 Socials @braindevelopmentUK Stimulating toothbrush - https://bristlscience.com – use the discount code shared in the episode to get 10% off. Dairy free chocolate - https://www.ombar.com/oatmlk and https://montybojangles.com/products/cocoa-nib-nights RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister/⁠ X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!
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    1 hr and 1 min
  • From Breakdown to Breakthrough: Overcoming ADHD Burnout with Jodie Steele
    Nov 19 2025
    Today, Cliff speaks with Jodie Steele about her experience with ADHD burnout, how it affected her health, her family and her life, and the steps she took to recover and rebuild. This episode is an honest look at what burnout really feels like when you have ADHD, and what can help you find your way back. EPISODE REVEALS True ADHD burnout goes far beyond exhaustion; it can trigger a severe, life-threatening neurological shutdown - Functional Neurological Disorder (FND). Physical symptoms can include stroke-level hypertension, adult-onset asthma, and fibromyalgia. If you have ADHD, it is particularly important to learn to listen to your body, ignoring can allow burnout to creep up on you. Once that happens it can take several years to recover. Teach your children to look after themselves, recognise the signs they are not doing well and what to do should that happen. Masking is not healthy. Bottling things up and burying who you really are puts a huge strain on your body, which makes burnout more likely. We spend a lot of time at work, so it is particularly important that you work in an environment in which you can flourish. Do everything you can to support your body: eat well, exercise, socialise, have interests and sleep enough. You are not going to get everything right 100% of the time but do make looking after yourself in these areas a priority. Getting back to nature massively helped Jodie. If you do get ill, having a strong support community (tribe) will make a huge difference. Make building your network of family and friends and finding a supportive partner a priority. It will also help to make burnout a lot less likely. BEST MOMENTS "A flower might not flourish in one corner of the house, but you just move it into the other side of the house, and suddenly it's big. It's beautiful." "If you don't pay attention to your body and what your body's saying to you, it will keep throwing extra things at you until you do." "Before I had the diagnosis, I used to beat myself up. Whereas now I can be a lot kinder with myself about everything. I'll giggle at my own sort of mishap." "Put yourself with the right people. Find, like you say, - find your tribe." GUEST RESOURCES https://alchemysoulstravel.com alchemysoulstravel@gmail.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodie-steele RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister/⁠ X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!
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    1 hr and 6 mins
  • The Impact of Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) on Neurodiverse Women with Alison Kerr
    Nov 12 2025
    For today’s Parenting ADHD and Autism episode, Cliff sits down to chat with Alison Kerr, a mum who discovered her own neurodivergence through her daughter’s autism and ADHD diagnosis. She opens up about the hormonal and neurodivergent roller coaster that has shaped her life and the healing path that helped her find balance again. In particular, she talks about a condition that is far more prevalent in the neurodivergent community than it is in the neurotypical community - Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD). As you listen, please let Cliff know, in the comments, if any of this feels familiar and share your experience. EPISODE REVEALS · Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) is more common amongst neurodivergent women. · If you notice your mood or behaviour changing, especially irritability, try tracking your menstrual cycle to see if there is a connection. · PMDD can cause suicidal thoughts that follow a woman´s menstrual cycle. · Parents of girls with ADHD need to keep an eye out for PMDD. · Look out for signs that you are self-medicating to deal with extreme mood swings. Alison was like Jekyll and Hyde depending on where she was in her cycle. · Alison found that traditional hormone-based solutions did not help here PMDD. In fact, it made things worse. She only got relief through homeopathy. BEST MOMENTS "I was a slave to my hormones, exacerbating the difficulties that already had because of the neurodivergence that I was unaware of." "It was just like, chalk and cheese, Jekyll and Hyde." "The more knowledge you have, the more you can support yourself through it, when support seems to be so lacking." "People who are neurodivergent, they're good leaders a lot of the time and we can make positive change." EPISODE RESOURCES SensItive The Untold Story - https://sensitivethemovie.com https://elizabethperu.com https://thetelepathytapes.com RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!
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    47 mins