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Parenting Autism and ADHD

Parenting Autism and ADHD

By: Cliff Kilmister
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 Parenting Autism and ADHD is a podcast designed to support parents and carers of children with autism, ADHD, Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), and other neurodevelopmental challenges, as well as children struggling with school attendance, even if they haven’t yet been diagnosed. Each episode offers practical guidance on helping your child attend school with less stress, manage meltdowns, and navigate obstacles in the education system. Through expert advice, real-life stories, and actionable strategies, we aim to empower you to overcome school refusal, sensory sensitivities, and behavioural struggles with confidence. Our mission is to build a supportive community where parents and carers can connect, share experiences, and access the tools they need for their child’s success, while fostering collaboration between parents and teachers to create a strong, unified support system. Hygiene & Healthy Living Parenting & Families Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships
Episodes
  • The Shame Trap and the Inner Chimp Paradox

    The Shame Trap and the Inner Chimp Paradox
    Dec 31 2025
    This episode is dedicated to a friend of Cliff´s, Jamie, who first told him about the Inner Chimp Paradox and recommended the book and the techniques he and Eva are exploring, today. Everyone has an inner chimp that self-blame voice, which nags them, shames them, and tells them they are rubbish at everything. It is normal, but people with neurodiverse brains feel criticism more deeply, so if their inner chimp is not kept in check, it can do a lot of damage. Cliff and Eva discuss how to put your inner chimp back in its box. EPISODE REVEALS · The chimp in your head is that negative side that always shames you, says you're useless, makes you feel rubbish – self-blame. · Everybody has an inner chimp. Whether you’re neurotypical or neurodiverse. But ADHD brains feel criticism much more than a neurotypical one does. Letting your inner chimp do as it pleases can lead to ADHD burnout and really dark thoughts. · For neurodiverse people, the impact of the criticism from their inner chimp can cause them to spiral downwards, so it is particularly important to be aware of your inner chimp and learn how to put him back in his box. · Befriend your chimp. Speak to your chimp like you would a friend who's suffering. If you see someone who's being grumpy, what would you say to that person? · Deep breathing helps a lot - Banana for the chimp, oxygen for the human. · Kindness regulate ADHD faster – including self-kindness. BEST MOMENTS "There is a grumpy monkey living in your head ." “Give your brain a hug, not hate mail.” "Anxiety is there for quick, short bursts of energy to keep us safe, keep us active. But in today's world anxiety has turned against us." "We are going to name the chimp. Let it know we are the boss. We're going to tell our chimp to chill. ." "Perfection is a trap – good enough ships." EPISODE RESOURCES Helping Teachers Thrive Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/helping-teachers-thrive/id1681843058 The Chimp Paradox Book - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Chimp-Paradox-Acclaimed-Management-Confidence/dp/B006WCJ9OS RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!
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    22 mins
  • Jeff Carroll, Eva, and Cliff - Love on the Spectrum Dating Advice Pt 2

    Jeff Carroll, Eva, and Cliff - Love on the Spectrum Dating Advice Pt 2
    Dec 24 2025
    Today, Cliff is joined once again by his daughter Eva and Yo Jeff a dating coach and published author of The Hip Hop Dating Guide that is available on Amazon. Check the description for the link. Last time Jeff was here, he talked to Eva about confidence, friendships and building skills. Today, they're catching up on how she got on with those challenges, the progress she's made. They also discuss how to handle rejection, harsh self-talk, and navigate those messy, early steps into teenage connection. EPISODE REVEALS Having a calm, trusted adult to talk to about confidence, friendships and dating can make things feel more manageable. Showing up and trying, even if you freeze or can’t follow through, is still progress. Courage is built in layers, not in one perfect moment. When someone is warm online but avoids spending time with you in real life, it usually reflects their fears and limits not anything you’ve done wrong. Rejection is painful, but each “no” is also practice. Practice at communicating, understanding yourself better, and choosing healthier connections. When your confidence is knocked consciously replenishing your reserves helps e.g. art, gaming, or creative projects. Friendships and dating are long games. You get good at them by repetition, not perfection. Trying again is how confidence and real connection are built. You might not end up dating every person you like, but you might meet someone wonderful through their friends. It’s worth keeping friendships, and practicing your social skills, even when romance doesn’t work out. BEST MOMENTS "It's really important to celebrate these little wins, because actually, they start mounting up into big wins." "You're going to work through that pain, and then once you get to the other side of that, reignite that friendship." "If you become really good at something, it will impact your self-confidence on everything." EPISODE RESOURCES https://podcasts.apple.com/es/podcast/navigating-friendships-and-dating-on-the-spectrum/id1810681675?i=1000733947794 ABOUT THE GUESTS JEFF CARROLL For one-on-one dating advice and coaching, contact Jeff via - coachyojeff@gmail.com https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_22asKR-3-Y https://www.facebook.com/CoachYoJeff The Hip Hop Dating Guide - https://a.co/d/gwDdKTH EVA KILMISTER Eva´s YT channel Inspire With Us - https://www.youtube.com/@InspireWithUsYT Eva Kilmister - Art Sketch Book - Blank Pages Sketch Pad - https://amzn.eu/d/i8v4VkA RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!
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    46 mins
  • How the Right Nutrition Changes Helps Children with Autism and/or ADHD

    How the Right Nutrition Changes Helps Children with Autism and/or ADHD
    Dec 17 2025
    Today, Cliff is joined by Vicky, founder of the happy, healthy unicorn. Her daughter was diagnosed with severe non-verbal autism at four years old, and what happened next completely changed their lives. Vicky shares how nutrition, gut health and tiny step by step changes helped her daughter move from daily struggle to real progress, and how any parent can start making gentle changes without overwhelming their child. If your child lives on beige foods, craves sugar, or reacts intensely to everyday life. This episode is definitely for you. Let's dive in. EPISODE REVEALS When autistic children don’t get enough of the right nutrients, their bodies prioritise basic survival functions like breathing over non-essential functions like focus, learning, speech, and eye contact. A more nutritious, less processed diet gives children´s brains more fuel to work with. Each tiny new food you add is extra fuel for your child’s brain and gut—and over time, those small changes can really lift how they feel and function. Many autistic and ADHD children gravitate to beige, carby foods because they provide a quick sugar hit, have a neutral smell and feel safe. Sweet or carby foods don’t provide sustainable energy and feed “bad” gut bugs. A vicious cycle that slowly gets worse. Gradual change is the key to diet changes, including going gluten or dairy free. Take the food they do enjoy and gradually tweak things to make it healthier rather than banning your child from eating the foods they love, overnight. Use food chaining to gently widen their diet, for example turning favourite cereal into cereal bars with oats, seeds, and nut butter, then adding those ingredients back into the cereal bowl. Change together as a family, work towards not having unhealthy foods in the home. BEST MOMENTS "By getting her body into good health, we found she could actually have a functional, beautiful life - she could communicate, have friends and not hurt herself." "If your body is not getting those nutrients, then that energy is depleted, and then the energy that your body needs to fulfil non-essential functioning will not be there anymore." "It’s all about meeting your child where they are at. put yourself into your child’s shoes." “The diet is imperative. It's fuel, isn't it? - You're either fuelling or you're poisoning.” EPISODE RESOURCES https://thehappyhealthyunicorn.com RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!
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    54 mins
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