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Welcome to the Ones Ready war room, where Peaches torches the news with a blowtorch of sarcasm and truth bombs. In this Ops Brief:

• The DoD is building a “not-a-prison” at Fort Bliss because we’re out of room for illegal immigrants (shocker).
• The Coast Guard just pissed off every cartel by bagging $88M in drugs.
• Khalid Sheikh Mohammed pled guilty to 9/11…but only to dodge the death penalty. Apparently, suicide bombers are for other people.
• Meanwhile, the Air Force flexes green energy clout, denies early retirement to transitioning members, and runs joint ops in hell-on-earth Arizona.
• Space Force holds a gladiator-style competition to prove they can lift more than laptops.
  Buckle up for chaos, hot takes, and zero apologies.

🔥 Key Takeaways:

• Fort Bliss is now Fort Holding Tank
• Coast Guard: 1, Cartel: 0 ($88M seized 💰)
• 9/11 mastermind takes plea deal—won’t die for his own cause 🤡
• Space Force hosts Roman-gladiator cosplay with kettlebells
• DoD drops mini nukes in Alaska—for energy, not war (yet)
• Air Force PT still causing heart attacks. Stop dry-scooping pre-workout, nerds.

⏱️ Timestamps:
00:00 – Welcome to the Madness
01:00 – What “Attributes-Based Selection” Really Means
01:45 – Nashville OTS Still Open – Get Your Spot
02:30 – Creatine Gummies and PT Test Heart Attacks
04:00 – Fort Bliss: Welcome to the New Detention Center
05:00 – DPAA’s Righteous Mission: Bring Our Brothers Home
06:00 – Coast Guard Bags $88M in Cocaine
06:45 – Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is a Punk
08:30 – Ramstein’s KMC and the 15-Year Transition Center
09:45 – Air Force Goes Green with Micro Reactors
11:00 – Denied: Early Retirement for Transgender Airmen
11:30 – Melting in Arizona During Exercise Desert Dragon
12:00 – Space Force Goes Gladiator at Guardian Arena
13:30 – Space Domain Awareness Gets a Telescope Upgrade
14:00 – Wrap-Up: Operation Midnight Hammer Merch Drop

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