David Axelrod and Karl Rove are two of the most influential political strategists of our time. Axelrod helped shape President Barack Obama's journey to the White House. Rove was "The Architect" behind President George W. Bush's victories. Their careers were built on defeating people like each other in some of the most bitter, high-stakes political battles in modern American history. Yet, despite their history over the years, today they share a genuine friendship. "We were able to build a relationship because even though we gave different points of view about some issues, I've never questioned Karl's patriotism or love of country. And we have this bond because we know that we have shared something much bigger than politics," David says.

That something bigger than politics is a shared understanding of what it is to grieve. Both David and Karl have parents who have died by suicide and in this week's episode, Tim talks with them about the shared loss that brought them together, the mutual respect that sustains their friendship, and their advice to a country struggling to stay in relationship across deep divides. At a moment when so many Americans feel disillusioned by politics or estranged from loved ones with different views, David and Karl offer a model of how to disagree without dehumanizing the other person, how to argue and stay connected, and how believing in each other and in America requires moving beyond labels and preconceived notions. "See them as human beings," Karl reminds us, "I don't want to be around people without character, but I'm not going to say that the determinant of their character is their political beliefs."

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Karl Rove was the senior advisor and deputy chief of staff to President George W. Bush, and “The Architect” of his presidential victories. He now writes a weekly column for The Wall Street Journal and is a Fox News contributor. David Axelrod is a political strategist and senior advisor who helped shape the message and vision of Barack Obama’s historic presidential campaigns. He hosted The Axe Files and is the founding director of University of Chicago’s non-partisan Institute of Politics. Learn more about Karl’s work on his website rove.com and David’s work at Politics.UChicago.Edu and find The Axe Files wherever you get your podcasts.

“Need A Lift?” will be on a hiatus for the summer and back this fall. Follow us on Instagram (@timothyshriver and @needaliftpod) and Facebook and let us know what you’d like to see on the show.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the final episode of our four-part Redefining Masculinity series, we turn to one of the oldest tools for transformation: the rite of passage. Across cultures and generations, rites of passage have marked the moment when boys become men—not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually, and communally. But in our modern world, these rituals for men are often missing, leading to issues with addiction, loneliness, rage, infidelity, and disconnection.

Today, Tim speaks with two men who have each crossed the threshold into manhood at very different moments in life. These men aren’t gurus nor are they perfect, but they’ve done the inner work and now help others do the same. First, we hear from Alan Jonagan, a grandfather and former banker whose double life unraveled in his fifties. What followed was a painful but redemptive journey through forgiveness, vulnerability, and spiritual awakening, that began with rites of passage. Alan says, “For me, [a rite of passage] was a way to first of all to identify what my core wounds are, process that, and shatter the image of the false self. The true self is always there, but it's just a matter of, how can I find that true self and how can I live into that?” Today, Alan leads Illuman of the Ozarks, a men’s group inspired by the work of Father Richard Rohr working with men in their 40s and beyond who live in Missouri, Arkansas, Eastern Kansas and Southern Illinois.

Next we hear from Tim’s son Sam Shriver, who found his way into men's work in his twenties through rugby, ritual, and raw self-reflection. “I had to sort of begin to take down the scaffolding that I had built in myself. And that led into a moment of uncertainty,” Sam says, “[but the rite of passage] is a framework for managing uncertainty—identity uncertainty.” Sam now works leading what he calls “the most potentially problematic demographic”—white, middle-class men ages 18–35—many of whom are isolated, emotionally unformed, and searching for identity. This episode is about what happens to men when rites of passage are forgotten and what becomes possible for men when we bring them back.

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Sam Shriver is a facilitator, mentor, and guide for young men, ages 18-35, those most at risk for causing harm, navigating addiction recovery and identity formation. Through this work, he helps men process their pain and heal physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Alan Jonagan leads the Illuman chapter in the Ozarks (Missouri and Arkansas, Eastern Kansas and Southern Illinois) primarily helping men in their 40s and older confront grief, break generational cycles, and discover a healthier, more human masculinity.

Learn more about Illuman on their website, illuman.org.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ruth Whippman grew up with her sister in the UK, attending an all-girls school. In adulthood, when she pictured parenting, she usually pictured parenting a daughter. “My life was so dominated by girls and women, and I think I just had no idea how to parent a boy,” she tells Tim. “And then I had three boys.”

Ruth is an author and a journalist by trade, so she started to research how gender roles affect the ways we parent our sons. In her book “BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity,” Ruth says that modern boyhood is marked by a mixture of indulgence and neglect. “We have not held boys and men accountable in many important ways, and we've kind of emotionally neglected them,” she says. “And I think it's the combination of those two that leads to this really toxic soup.” Ruth cites research that showed parents giving baby girls roughly twice as much “nurturing touch” than baby boys. “We talk to baby girls more,” Ruth says. “We are more likely to respond to a baby girl's early sounds and cries.”

Those subtle signals convince boys over time that their feelings don’t matter. Through writing her book, she interviewed adolescent boys who told her again and again that the pressure to appear strong and tough ate away at their self esteem. “These messages we give to boys aren't just harmful for other people, they're harmful for boys themselves,” she tells Tim. “It's leaving them lonely, disconnected from their emotions… But what we actually know about resilience and toughness is that it comes from being emotionally healthy.”

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Ruth Whippman is a journalist, cultural critic, and author of “BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity” and “America the Anxious.” You can learn more at her website RuthWhippman.com or on her Substack, “I Blame Society.”

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.