Messy, Angry, Whole: When Healing Becomes Performance
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Messy, Angry, Whole: When Healing Becomes Performance
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About this listen
What if your healing doesn’t look calm, graceful, or Instagram-worthy—and that’s exactly what makes it real?
In this episode, Dr. Misty rips into the toxic trap of performative healing—where spiritual practices become branding, regulation gets weaponized, and “high-vibe only” becomes emotional gaslighting.
We’re talking:
Why breathwork, yoga, and meditation sometimes don’t work (and why that’s not your fault)
Polyvagal theory (but make it sexy, sassy, and trauma-aware)
Rage, shutdown, and why calm is not the goal
️ Rebel healing rituals that work with your neurodivergent, overstimulated, gloriously messy body
Plus: a listener question that cracked our hearts open—"Why do I feel worse after breathwork?"
This episode is your permission slip to rage, shut down, scream into a towel, and call that shit sacred.
✨ Grab the companion worksheet: “Messy, Angry, Whole: A Nervous System Reclamation Map” inside The Ember Vault → untamedember.com
Chapters- (00:00:00) - Welcome to Untamed Ember: Rage-Cries, Cheetos & Real Healing
- (00:00:29) - Performative Healing: When Looking Healed Matters More Than Being Whole
- (00:01:09) - Polyvagal Theory 101: Why Your Nervous System Isn’t Broken
- (00:02:02) - The Reality of Performance Healing: Calm Mask, Screaming Body
- (00:09:08) - Weaponized Regulation: When “Stay Calm” Becomes Oppression
- (00:12:37) - Sacred Rage: The Intelligence of Emotional Fire
- (00:15:53) - Calm Isn’t the Goal: Dissociation in a Pretty Outfit
- (00:16:49) - Truth Over Performance: Reclaiming Your Nervous System
- (00:17:47) - Reclaiming Healing: Burn the Aesthetic, Keep the Aliveness
- (00:19:13) - Rebel Rituals: Healing Tools That Don’t Perform for Instagram
- (00:20:38) - Freeze-State Rituals: How to Come Back From Numbness
- (00:21:37) - Rest As Rebellion: Opting Out of the Healing Hustle
- (00:23:59) - Breathwork Backlash: Why It Sometimes Makes You Feel Worse
- (00:27:09) - Nervous System Alternatives: What to Try Instead of Breathwork
- (00:30:02) - Final Thoughts: You’re Not Too Much—You’re Finally Honest