Mike and Kristen dive deep into Michael Bungay Stanier's The Advice Trap, exploring why our natural instinct to give advice actually makes us worse leaders. This episode reveals the uncomfortable truth: your advice isn't as good as you think it is, and constantly offering solutions is damaging your team and overwhelming your schedule. The hosts get painfully honest about their own advice-giving habits while breaking down the three personas of the "advice monster" - Tell It, Save It, and Control It. They explore the psychological rewards we get from playing rescuer (#winsnotwins) and share practical strategies for staying curious longer instead of rushing to solutions. If you've ever wondered why your team keeps coming to you with problems instead of solutions, or why you feel like the only person holding everything together, this episode will help you understand the hidden costs of advice-giving and show you a better way forward.

Highlights:

• Why advice damages organizations by demotivating receivers, overwhelming givers, and limiting team potential
• The three advice monster personas (Tell It, Save It, Control It) and their shared DNA belief: "I'm better than the other person"
• Understanding #winsnotwins - the short-term rewards that keep you stuck in advice-giving patterns and why recognizing these prizes is key to change
• Why taming your advice monster requires battling between present you and future you (the adult marshmallow test)
• The TERA framework for psychological safety using Tribe, Expectation, Rank, and Autonomy to create safer conversations
• Six "foggy-fiers" that derail problem-solving, from "twirling" (first problem isn't the real problem) to "yarning" (too much storytelling)
• Moving beyond single questions to strategic coaching combos that uncover real challenges
• Specific language patterns for interrupting conversations without damaging relationships
• How your background affects when and how you should give away power as a leader
• Making coaching a regular interaction instead of formal compliance meetings

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• The Advice Trap by Michael Bungay Stanier
• The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier
• Download Additional Book Resources from MBS
• Love & Leadership Episode #9: The Coaching Habit
• What Got You Here Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
• The First 90 Days by Michael D. Watkins
• Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman

Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.com
Instagram: @loveleaderpod

Follow us on LinkedIn!
Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/
Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/

Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Kristen and Mike explore The Go-Giver Leader by Bob Burg and John David Mann, a parable that flips traditional command-and-control leadership on its head. Through the story of Ben, an ambitious M&A executive who discovers that true influence comes from yielding rather than forcing, listeners will learn why the best leaders don't take leadership - they give it away. Mike brings his signature tangents, while Kristen keeps things grounded with practical insights. If you've ever wondered why some leaders inspire fierce loyalty while others barely get compliance, this episode reveals the five keys that separate legendary leaders from mere managers. Fair warning: there's some serious cheese in this book, but the lessons underneath are pure gold.

Highlights:

• Using "I," "me," and "my" repeatedly sends the wrong message - leadership isn't about making everything about you
• Anyone can create a vision, but the real challenge is holding fast to it when everyone else loses sight during difficult times
• Influence pulls people toward you like gravity, while convincing pushes and overcomes by argument - completely different approaches
• Like heating wood to reveal beautiful colors, applying belief (not pressure) brings out the best in people
• While competence is baseline, people need to trust your character - what happens when life scratches your soul matters more than your resume
• Giving away power actually increases your influence, though this advice doesn't apply equally to all leaders in all situations
• The book uniquely addresses how tragedy and loss leave authentic marks that show up in business and leadership
• The best way to increase influence is to give it away - great leadership is never about the leader

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• The Go-Giver Leader by Bob Burg and John David Mann
• The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann
• Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win by Jocko Willink
• The Advice Trap by Michael Bungay Stanier
• What Got You Here Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
• Good to Great by Jim Collins
• Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara

Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.com
Instagram: @loveleaderpod

Follow us on LinkedIn!
Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/
Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/

Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

You've probably heard "leadership versus management" debates many times, but Kristen and Mike break it down in a way that actually makes sense. This isn't about which one is better - spoiler alert: you need both. Instead, they explore how these distinct skill sets work together and why understanding the difference can transform your career. From Confucius to Navy SEALs, they share practical insights on when to lead people versus manage systems, common myths that trip up even experienced professionals, and why the best leaders toggle between both modes throughout their day. If you've ever wondered whether you're managing when you should be leading (or vice versa), this episode will give you the clarity to know which hat to wear when.

Highlights:

• The Core Distinction: Leadership = vision and inspiration ("why" and "what"). Management = operations and execution ("how")
• Kotter's Framework: Leadership establishes direction, aligns people, motivates. Management plans/budgets, organizes/staffs, controls/problem-solves
• Why Both Matter: Successful leaders toggle between both modes throughout their day
• Leadership can be learned through study and practice - you're not born with it
• Common Myths Debunked: Leadership isn't higher status than management, you can lead from any role, both require ongoing development
• The Coaching Approach: Keeps you focused on vision and mentorship while avoiding micromanagement
• Managing Systems, Leading People: Manage processes, lead and inspire the people within them
• Continuous Growth: Leadership development is lifelong, requiring constant learning and self-reflection

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• Start With Why by Simon Sinek
• Good to Great by Jim Collins
• Turn the Ship Around by Captain L. David Marquet
• The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier
• Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink
• Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara

Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.com
Instagram: @loveleaderpod

Follow us on LinkedIn!
Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/
Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/

Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com