Prepare your safe word because we're pokin' some triggers. Jordan and J.T. are digging into attachment theory, and things could get prickly. Attachment theory explores how early interactions with caregivers influence our ability to form secure attachments and how those patterns can manifest in our adult relationships.

Attachment Styles & Their Impact on Relationships:

1. Secure adults tend to have healthy, trusting, and supportive relationships.
2. Anxious adults often crave intimacy but may struggle with feelings of insecurity and fear of abandonment.
3. Avoidant adults are likely to avoid emotional closeness, may prioritize independence over intimate relationships, and long for connection with a fear of getting too close.

It can be helpful to notice patterns, but the goal isn’t to diagnose everyone. It’s to understand ourselves better—so we can relate with more compassion, not more control.

Fill In the Blank:

The best relationships are ___________.

a. Uncomplicated

b. Like a team

c. Safe

Moving Towards Secure Attachment:

• Self-Awareness: Understanding each partner's attachment style is crucial for recognizing the patterns and triggers in the relationship.
• Open Communication: Both partners need to communicate their needs and boundaries clearly and vulnerably.
• Therapy: Couples or individual therapy can provide support and guidance for addressing attachment patterns and developing healthier relationship dynamics.
• Self-Regulation: Both partners can work on regulating their emotions and developing a sense of security within themselves, rather than relying solely on the other.
• Building Trust: Creating a safe space for vulnerability and emotional connection can help build trust and foster a more secure attachment style.

For Any Anxious Love Ninjas:

• Delay the impulse to reach out—set a timer for 15 minutes and do something nourishing in the meantime.
• Movement: walk, shake, dance out the jeebies
• Breathe! Try a slower exhale.
• Journal the worst-case scenario - then write a compassionate response to it.
• Send yourself the text you want to send to your partner.
• Reframe the mindset: “I can survive discomfort without needing immediate resolution,” or “Just because they’re distant doesn’t mean they’re leaving.”

If you have an inquiry or topic you’d like Jordan and J.T. to dig into, please send an email or voice memo to letsdigintothat@gmail.com

Enjoy the conversation? It would mean the world if you had a second to SHARE this episode - or your favorite episode! If you haven't already, please SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW on the homepage at letsdigintothat.com or wherever you find your podcasts. THANK YOU, Love Ninjas! The impact of your support is greater than you can imagine.

In a culture of constant stimulation, stillness is a skill, an act of resistance. When was the last time you truly experienced bone-deep, cellular silence? What does the noise help us hide? Join Jordan and J.T. as they explore the idea that peace is not found in the absence of chaos, but in our refusal to be controlled by it. Listen to discover:

- Reliance on external validation can keep you small

- Dr. Brené Brown: Proving is a prison!

- Power of the pause: Is your response aligned with who you are or how you (momentarily) feel?

- Stillness as a radical act of inner protest (aka some folks won't care for your desire to change)

- The effect of our hyper-connected, 24/7 accessibility on our nervous system and anxiety

- It's ok not to be liked.

- Regulation Station: beep beep!

- The chaos isn't going anywhere. How much chaos are you willing to consent to?

- ENERGY! Your energy (your tank) is your POWER. Sacred expenditure on unimportant stimuli.

- Silence is not a sign of weakness. The quiet is not fear or indifference, but intentional consideration: clarity.

If you have an inquiry or topic you’d like Jordan and J.T. to dig into, please send an email or voice memo to letsdigintothat@gmail.com

Enjoy the conversation? It would mean the world if you had a second to SHARE this episode - or your favorite episode! If you haven't already, please SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW on the homepage at letsdigintothat.com or wherever you find your podcasts. THANK YOU, Love Ninjas! The impact of your support is greater than you can imagine.

Jordan and J.T. deconstruct the traditional life timeline and explore why we should reclaim our nonlinear stories. Listen to discover:

- The subtle tyranny of "by this age, I should have..."

- Who decides if we're "on track?" Is "being on track" setting us back?

- Goals vs. Milestones: who keeps score?

- Reframing 40 not as a crisis, but a quiet rebellion.

- Relationship milestones that aren’t "We’re Pregnant!"

- Is being chosen overrated? How can we choose ourselves more fully more often?

- Is there a petty timeline flex you're secretly proud of?

- The power of celebrating personal success

**Let us know! What is a nontraditional milestone you feel we should celebrate? (Ideas: Freedom and Rebellion Milestones, Emotional Milestones, Petty But Powerful Milestones, Slightly Feral But Totally Valid Milestones, etc.)

- Love Ninja Milestone: "Realized I wasn’t the problem... but also wasn’t the main character."

- JT's Next Milestone: took a nap instead of seeking validation.

If you have an inquiry or topic you’d like Jordan and J.T. to dig into, please send an email or voice memo to letsdigintothat@gmail.com

Enjoy the conversation? It would mean the world if you had a second to SHARE this episode - or your favorite episode! If you haven't already, please SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW on the homepage at letsdigintothat.com or wherever you find your podcasts. THANK YOU, Love Ninjas! The impact of your support is greater than you can imagine.

This episode is brought to you by: FEELINGS (the weirder the better)

Grief doesn’t wear black every day. It can show up in your dreams. Or as a specific smell. Or your playlist shuffles to that one song... We're genuinely curious: Is it ok to laugh at a funeral...?

Instead of trying to make grief appear anything other than messy, Jordan and J.T. dig into the all-too-turbulent discomfort of loss. Listen to discover why the real-life grief ambush is part of the process. (You’re not broken. You’re just… HUMAN.)

- What part of grief did no one warn you about?

- How can we carry opposing emotions at once (sorrow and joy)?

- Ghosted in Grief: Why some people disappear instead of showing up when you’re grieving.

- The Grief that Doesn’t Get Flowers: Uncelebrated griefs like estranged parents, friendship breakups, lost dreams, not having kids

- Micro-grieving: the catharsis of a good public or bathroom cry

- Spiritual platitudes that should be retired (Time heals all wounds, What doesn't kill you...etc)

- When can we feel JOY without GUILT while grieving?

- What happens when you remove/replace coping crutches? The power of new rituals - and poetic playlists.

- LDIT's Grief Manifesto: "We believe grief is not a problem to fix— it’s a sacred, shitty, wild thing we carry..."

- GOOD IDEAS on how to be there for those you love: send a one-line text (no response required), drop off snacks with a note "grief doesn't cook," invitation to non-grief activity (karaoke, trashy TV marathon, hike, dog park.,.), just be quiet together, say their person's name

The Deepest THANKS, ADMIRATION, & APPRECIATION to: Andrea Gibson, You Better Be Lightning (Button Poetry, 2021) ...a super hero on earth...rest in peace

If you have an inquiry or topic you’d like Jordan and J.T. to dig into, please send an email or voice memo to letsdigintothat@gmail.com

Enjoy the conversation? It would mean the world if you had a second to SHARE this episode - or your favorite episode! If you haven't already, please SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW on the homepage at letsdigintothat.com or wherever you find your podcasts. THANK YOU, Love Ninjas! The impact of your support is greater than you can imagine.

Mirror, mirror, WHAT THE DEUCE?

Vanity can be touchy: secret angles, shame zones, squishy bits. Jordan and J.T. explore how our self-worth can become entwined with our appearance. Can you carry both your "divine light" and your body dysmorphia? Listen to discover:

- Pride in appearance vs reliance on external validation

- Insecurities we work hardest to hide

- Where and when did you first learn that looks were currency?

- Who said what that made me hate myself for having cellulite?

- Differences between maintenance, pride, and vanity

- Inflating achievements, status symbols, and the self-doubt cycle of social comparisons

- What’s the first thing you always notice about yourself in the mirror?

- Vanity shame: what can we do to heal?

- What is our cultural programming around appearance and worth?

If you have an inquiry or topic you’d like Jordan and J.T. to dig into, please send an email or voice memo to letsdigintothat@gmail.com

Enjoy the conversation? It would mean the world if you had a second to SHARE this episode - or your favorite episode! If you haven't already, please SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW on the homepage at letsdigintothat.com or wherever you find your podcasts. THANK YOU, Love Ninjas! The impact of your support is greater than you can imagine.

Ready to get weird and wise? Jordan and J.T. play the first round of Uncomfortable On Purpose. Think Truth or Truth: the questions you’d rather not ask your partner but really should.

This round cuts deep. A provocative and revealing Q&A-style game that digs beneath the surface. Topics we usually tiptoe around—shame, addiction, fear, failure—but with the goal of healing, not harm. A darkly playful excavation of your emotional scar tissue—because healing can be sexier with a bit of risk.

The FIVE subversive and intentionally uncomfortable categories are tailored to spark meaningful conversation, shared vulnerability, and unexpected insight.

CATEGORIES: Spicy Confessions, Past Lives, Mirror Work, Trigger Warning, and Romance Round 2!

Real talk about second chances at love, adult intimacy, and all the weird, wonderful shit that comes with being human.

Don't just eavesdrop - try it! If you'd like a starter kit of playful heat, send a request to letsdigintothat@gmail.com

Let the awkwardness be part of the vibe.

If you have an inquiry or topic you’d like Jordan and J.T. to dig into, please send an email or voice memo to letsdigintothat@gmail.com

Enjoy the conversation? It would mean the world if you had a second to SHARE this episode - or your favorite episode! If you haven't already, please SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW on the homepage at letsdigintothat.com or wherever you find your podcasts. THANK YOU, Love Ninjas! The impact of your support is greater than you can imagine.

Ever paid for that $40 DoorDash burrito in a sweaty delivery exchange and thought: Who am I, and what is this life? Modern convenience just might be killing our joy. If comfort were a drug, we'd all be addicted. If you're curious about what convenience might be doing to your curiosity, not to mention your capacity for emotional resilience and connection, join Jordan and J.T. to discover:

- How dopamine-on-demand is numbing our ability to feel real connection or desire

- The 5 Conveniences that Quietly Corrupt

- How does avoidance-based/one-click living impact our resilience and empathy?

- Does a comfort addiction make you an entitled asshole?

- What GPS does to our brains & the impact of engaging with strangers

- Is Amazon Prime the biggest threat to modern marriage?

- Suffering, friction, delays, and the recipe for real connection

- Convenience sex/instant swipe gratification: do we remember how to want or wait?

- Strategies to combat convenience culture

- Is there a connection between convenience dependence and anxiety?

- Climate Control: our literal and metaphorical need to feel good

If you have an inquiry or topic you’d like Jordan and J.T. to dig into, please send an email or voice memo to letsdigintothat@gmail.com

Enjoy the conversation? It would mean the world if you had a second to SHARE this episode - or your favorite episode! If you haven't already, please SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW on the homepage at letsdigintothat.com or wherever you find your podcasts. THANK YOU, Love Ninjas! The impact of your support is greater than you can imagine.

One would hope we evolve, learn, and change over time, but can we outgrow our personality? What if you're only pretending to like spicy margaritas and karaoke? Has the Party Guy era come to a close? If you're staring at an unrecognizable vision board from 2018 or seeking permission to change your mind, join Jordan and J.T. for a raw discussion of personality. From identity and reinvention to trauma disguised in "that's just me" habits, listen to discover:

- What is personality? Your Enneagram? Your Spotify Wrapped? Your career title or coping style?

- Does all evolution/growth require a complete existential breakdown?

- The influence of outside perspective, external motivation, and validation

- The tension between branding yourself and being yourself

- Are we boxed in by our own stories? I'm the wild one...I'm the sensitive, empath.

- Are we allowed not to spiral? Is inner peace a thing?

- Why evolution feels both terrifying and liberating

- How to get comfortable with I don't know who I am right now

- Unconventional approaches to surviving the spiral

- The moments that prompted "wait, who am I?"

- Retiring roles: Do we grieve, burn, or feel free?

Literary Shout Out: Sheila Heti, How Should a Person Be? (Picador, 2012)

If you have an inquiry or topic you’d like Jordan and J.T. to dig into, please send an email or voice memo to letsdigintothat@gmail.com

Enjoy the conversation? It would mean the world if you had a second to SHARE this episode - or your favorite episode! If you haven't already, please SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW on the homepage at letsdigintothat.com or wherever you find your podcasts. THANK YOU, Love Ninjas! The impact of your support is greater than you can imagine.