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Jenny Says So Podcast

Jenny Says So Podcast

By: Fresh Starts Registry
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About this listen

Welcome to Jenny Says So—the podcast where modern etiquette meets real life. I’m Jenny, a modern-day etiquette expert, former wedding officiant & professional, and co-founder of the first registry platform for divorce support. With 20 years of studying religion and communities under my belt, and as the creator of the VASE Method of communication I have a lot of opinions about what etiquette is and what it should be. I’ve been featured in Time Magazine, The New York Times, Real Simple, and more talking about everything from the least worst way to cancel your wedding to gifting in awkward circumstances. My superpower? Knowing when to leave the party—and I’m here to answer all your questions about boundaries, manners, and navigating life as a human in this wild world. Each week, I’ll tackle one of your questions and break it down in a way that’s approachable, not stressful, because etiquette doesn’t have to be archaic or stuffy. Let’s leave the outdated rules behind and redefine how we connect. Follow Jenny Says So on your favorite podcast platform, and head to FreshStartsRegistry.com/JennySaysSo to send your questions (they can be anonymous!) —I can’t wait to hear from you!Copyright 2025 Fresh Starts Registry Hygiene & Healthy Living Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Social Sciences
Episodes
  • Overloaded with Oversharing in Oregon: what happens when you become the unofficial office therapist?
    Jun 19 2025

    You know that moment when being the “nice one” stops feeling kind and starts feeling crushing? That’s where our final caller of the season finds herself: kind, empathetic, beloved by her coworkers—and drowning under the weight of everyone else’s problems. She’s not a manager. She’s not an HR rep. But somewhere along the way, she became the unofficial office therapist. And now, the constant venting, after-hours texts, and emotional labor are burning her out.

    Hi Jenny, thank you so much for your thoughtful advice—it always helps me feel grounded. I’m calling in with a question about workplace boundaries. I’ve been at my job for five years and have a great relationship with my coworkers, but lately I’ve noticed that I’m becoming the unofficial “office therapist.” People stop by my desk to vent, text me after hours with personal issues, and even ask me to mediate conflicts. While I want to be a good colleague, it’s starting to affect my own stress levels. How can I compassionately shift this dynamic without coming across as cold or unapproachable?Signed, Overloaded with Oversharing in Oregon

    In this season finale, Jenny responds with her signature mix of warmth, wit, and straight-up wisdom. She holds space for what it means to be “the one everyone turns to”—especially when it starts to cost you your own peace. Jenny doesn’t just validate the exhaustion; she offers a powerful strategy: bore them. Yep. Get boring. Cut off the energetic supply with compassion, consistency, and just the right amount of weather talk. It’s about training the office to see you as capable—but not constantly available. Supportive—but not their sponge.

    This episode isn’t just about workplace boundaries—it’s about reclaiming your energy in a world that too often rewards emotional over-functioning. Jenny reminds us that empathy is a gift, but it’s not a job description. Whether you’re navigating your own “office therapist” moment or learning to reset long-standing dynamics, this finale will leave you seen, supported, and ready to say: I love you, but no.

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    9 mins
  • Feeling Steamrolled in Pennsylvania: how to respond when friends change your plans last minute
    May 14 2025

    In this episode of Jenny Says So, Jenny dives into the complexities of friendships—specifically how to navigate awkward moments and misunderstandings with grace and empathy. She emphasizes the importance of curiosity and open communication, suggesting that friends should approach conflicts with a mindset of understanding rather than judgment. Jenny shares her tips for creating safe spaces for vulnerability, addressing misunderstandings directly, and handling tense moments with compassion and clarity.

    Hey Jenny, I have a dilemma I need help with. So, two old friends and I have been getting together a few times a year for dinner. Since we are a little geographically dispersed, we all take turns being slightly inconvenienced, and we really try to pick a place that is convenient for everyone (as much as possible). For our recent outing, we picked a date, time and place that made sense for us all. However, at the last minute one friend wanted to change the time and place, and the demeanor was a little aggressive! Before you knew it, we had changed our plans to accommodate her. What would be the right thing to say to her to bring attention to the fact that she was inconsiderate? Is it wrong to read aggressiveness in a text? Thanks for the help. Signed, Feeling Steamrolled in Pennsylvania

    Jenny dives into this relatable friendship dilemma with her signature compassion and straightforward advice. She discusses how easy it is to misread tone through text and emphasizes the importance of face-to-face communication to clear up misunderstandings.

    Jenny shares practical tips on how to address inconsiderate behavior with kindness and honesty, suggesting that open-ended questions can help uncover intentions without placing blame. Her advice highlights the importance of curiosity, understanding, and direct communication in navigating friendships.

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    8 mins
  • Need Boundaries Advice in New York City: how to manage social obligations when out-of-town people visit you
    May 7 2025

    In this episode of Jenny Says So, Jenny dives into the complexities of social obligations when friends or acquaintances visit a city. She emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries, being authentic in interactions, and managing expectations. Jenny also shares practical advice on how to prepare for visitors, including creating a recommendations list and practicing responses to maintain personal well-being.

    Hi Jenny, I have a question for you. I recently moved to Manhattan and am about to turn 40, which has me reflecting on how my friendships and social dynamics have evolved over time. I’m an extrovert and an entrepreneur, so I’ve built many connections over the years through work, school, and networking. But now that I’m in New York City, I’m finding that people from my past—some of whom I haven’t seen in years—reach out when they’re visiting the city. They often expect me to act as their tour guide, coordinate their plans, or be on-call for catch-ups, even if it’s not convenient for me.While I value these connections, it feels one-sided and draining, especially when there’s no reciprocity or deeper relationship involved. On top of that, I’ve had situations where people bring others along, making the dynamic even more complex, leaving me feeling like entertainment rather than a friend.As a people pleaser, I struggle with setting boundaries in these situations. How can I create clear criteria for myself to decide when to say yes or no? And are there ways to navigate these interactions so they don’t leave me feeling so depleted? I’d love your thoughts on how to protect my energy while maintaining authentic relationships. Signed, Need Boundaries Advice in New York City

    Jenny dives deep into this relatable situation, offering heartfelt advice on setting boundaries, honoring your own time, and not feeling obligated to play tour guide when it’s not genuinely aligned with your energy. She shares tips for gracefully saying no, offering curated recommendations instead of your time, and recognizing when a visit is more about convenience than connection.

    Jenny encourages listeners to listen to their instincts, practice direct communication, and prioritize their own well-being without guilt. Her practical advice is perfect for anyone feeling the weight of social obligations and looking for a way to protect their time while still maintaining meaningful connections.

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    12 mins
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