Episodes

  • Differentiation, Exploration, and Red Flags with Author Tom Bruett

    Differentiation, Exploration, and Red Flags with Author Tom Bruett
    Jul 2 2025
    We’re joined by therapist and author Tom Bruett, whose book The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men has genuinely impacted our relationship. In this honest and vulnerable conversation, we dive deep into the two stages that rocked us the most: Differentiation and Exploration.

    We talk about what it really means to stay emotionally connected while becoming your own person, how to ask for what you want in bed (without shame), and why open relationships often bring up the deepest communication work. Tom shares what it was like writing his most personal chapter, and we open up about how the book has helped us become better partners.

    💬 Learning to set boundaries without shutting down
    🧠 The power of sex-positive, vulnerable conversations
    ❤️ Why differentiation can feel scary—but lead to deeper love

    And of course, we close it out with a classic Koaty and Sumner game: Red Flag or Growth Lag? We throw out spicy relationship scenarios, and Tom tells us whether it’s a dealbreaker—or just a couple stuck in one of the book’s core stages.

    This episode is heartfelt, hilarious, and deeply helpful for anyone in a queer relationship (or hoping to be in one).
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    54 mins
  • Daddy Issues & Narcissist Parents: Knowing When to Cut Ties

    Daddy Issues & Narcissist Parents: Knowing When to Cut Ties
    Jun 25 2025
    In this vulnerable and validating episode, Koaty shares the emotional journey behind cutting off his father—and the years of narcissistic behavior, gaslighting, and betrayal that led up to it. We explore how hard it can be to draw boundaries with a parent, especially when manipulation is masked as love. From financial deception to emotional abuse, we break down the signs of a narcissistic parent, why it’s okay to walk away, and how chosen family can sometimes be the safest family. And of course, it wouldn’t be us without a little fun—Sumner closes the episode with a spicy quiz to find out once and for all: does Koaty have daddy issues? This episode is part healing, part chaos, and 100% real.
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    41 mins
  • Ex Mormon, Ex Engineer, Ex tra Gay

    Ex Mormon, Ex Engineer, Ex tra Gay
    Jun 11 2025
    From church pews to OnlyFans views. In this episode, Sumner opens up about growing up Mormon—from blessing sacrament trays as a teenager to being interrogated by bishops about masturbation (yep, really). Koaty plays Mormon Mythbusters and finds out just how weird—and wildly repressive—Sumner’s childhood really was.

    We get into sex shame, secret Mormon wife culture, sacred underwear, and how leaving the Church helped Sumner finally reclaim his sexuality.

    If you’ve ever grown up in purity culture, questioned religion, or just love messy spiritual trauma with a gay twist… this one’s for you.

    👼 Trauma dump meets temple tea. Tap in.
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    53 mins
  • The ICCAs, The Trophy, and The Trap of Comparison

    The ICCAs, The Trophy, and The Trap of Comparison
    Jun 4 2025
    "Hey!!! We just got back from Puerto Vallarta, where we were nominated for three awards at the very first International Content Creator Awards (aka the ICCAs)… and we took home Best Podcast! 🏆 In this episode, we’re sharing all the highlights: from the content house vibes to the red carpet feels, and what it meant to be surrounded by so many creators in one space.

    We also open up about the mental side of it all — the pressure to compare, the way looks can mess with your self-worth, and how we’re learning to keep it real with ourselves even in the middle of all the glam. Spoiler: we still had an amazing time and looked damn good doing it.
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    30 mins
  • Do We Like It Tight or Loose? A Gay Fashion + Fetish Showdown

    Do We Like It Tight or Loose? A Gay Fashion + Fetish Showdown
    May 21 2025
    Skinny jeans are out. Baggy cargos are in. Harnesses? Always timeless. In this episode, Sumner & Koaty Blayne dive headfirst into the messy, sexy, and sometimes downright busted world of gay men’s fashion. From growing up in skin-tight clubwear to navigating the oversized streetwear takeover, they spill all the tea.
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    36 mins
  • We can’t circuit like we used too…and that’s ok!

    We can’t circuit like we used too…and that’s ok!
    May 14 2025
    In this episode, Koaty and Sumner Blayne open up about their full journey through circuit party culture—from wild weekends, outfit changes, and hookup chaos to burnout, boundaries, and slowing the hell down.

    We reflect on how the circuit brought us together, tested our relationship, boosted our OnlyFans, and eventually wore us out. We’re not anti-party—we’re just pro-evolution.

    Plus: a chaotic game of “Did We Do That?” featuring afterparty confessions, filming mishaps, and one very suspicious cuddle puddle.

    If you’ve ever felt sexy, sweaty, overstimulated, and a little sad on the same dance floor—this one’s for you.
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    37 mins
  • Kink 101: :Learning To Be Open-Minded

    Kink 101: :Learning To Be Open-Minded
    May 7 2025
    In this episode, Koaty and Sumner Blayne open up about their evolving relationship with kink, not as experts or full-time fetish freaks, but as a couple learning to be more curious, more communicative, and way less judgmental.

    We explore how getting older has made us more open to trying things we once avoided, and how shame can sneak into the bedroom even in the most loving relationships. From sploshing and age play to sounding and voyeurism, we talk about what used to freak us out—and what we’re now learning to approach with curiosity instead of fear.

    Plus: our favorite game “Guess That Kink!”, and by the end, we put Koaty through the ultimate test… just how open-minded is he really?

    It’s not about being kinky. It’s about being open.
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    46 mins
  • AI & The Future of Sex: Are Robots Replacing Romance?

    AI & The Future of Sex: Are Robots Replacing Romance?
    Mar 12 2025
    In this spicy and thought-provoking episode of In Bed with Koaty and Sumner, we’re diving into the wild world of AI, sexbots, and the future of intimacy. As technology advances, virtual partners and hyper-realistic sex dolls are shaking up relationships—so where do we draw the line?

    We explore whether AI companions are enhancing or replacing real human connection, debate if having a virtual AI partner counts as cheating, and ask the ultimate question: if your partner had a sexbot that looked exactly like you, would you be flattered or freaked out?

    Get ready for a futuristic, hilarious, and maybe even slightly unsettling conversation about AI-driven pleasure, emotional bonds with chatbots, and whether AI can really be a personal sex coach. Tune in, because this one is too good to miss!
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    27 mins