In this episode, Dear Listener, we dive into some of the most pressing questions about conflict in relationships: Why do we tend to avoid conflict? Why is it important to have conflict? And what is the best way to resolve a conflict?

Today's special guest is Julie Barr, LMFT, an expert couples therapist and beloved Relationship Center clinician. She returns to explore the nuances of conflict and its critical role in building stronger relationships. Julie Barr pulls from her 30+ years of experience supporting couples to share her expert insights on why we often shy away from conflict and the potential pitfalls of avoiding it.

We begin by unpacking the common reasons behind our instinct to steer clear of conflict, from childhood experiences to societal norms. Understanding these underlying factors sets the stage for appreciating the value of healthy conflict. Julie explains how conflict, when approached with the right mindset, can lead to deeper understanding and connection between partners.

The discussion then moves to practical strategies for resolving conflicts effectively. Julie outlines a step-by-step process for navigating disagreements, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness, preparation, and communication. Don’t miss Jessica and Julie’s role-play of an argument illustrating how couples can shift from adversaries to allies by adopting a collaborative approach to conflict.

By the end of this episode, you’ll have a clear roadmap for transforming conflicts into opportunities for growth and intimacy. Learn how to use conflict to strengthen your relationship, ensuring both partners feel heard, understood, and valued. Tune in now to discover the best practices for resolving conflicts and fostering a harmonious, loving partnership.

Key Takeaways

02:03 - Why do we tend to avoid conflict?

08:43 - Why is it important to have conflict?

16:27 - What is the best way to resolve a conflict?

Resources and links

For full show notes with links, visit relationshipcenter.com/podcast

Ep. 22 - How I-Statements can improve your relationship (examples for couples)

I-Statements: A Therapist's #1 Communication Skill for Couples Who Fight Too Much

Fair Fighting Rules for Couples: How to Resolve Conflict Effectively in Relationships

The Four Horsemen: The Antidotes, strategies for addressing negative communication patterns in relationships, from the Gottman Institute

Imago Dialogue: The Basic Steps

Have a question or comment? Email us at podcast@relationshipcenter.com. We love hearing from you!

If you’d like to work with one of the talented clinicians on our team (including Julie Barr), go to relationshipcenter.com/apply-now to apply for a free